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There was a sort of finality to their words that said it would never be a problem again, but didn't elaborate further. I figured that was because, while I was with Ryan, I wasn't exactly in the fold yet. They barely knew me and didn't know how much they could trust me.
I had to understand that.
It was almost dark out when Fee, obviously the one with less of a filter, finally blurted out, "So, agoraphobia..."
"Fiona," Lea hissed.
"What? We're old friends now," she said, shaking her head. "It's not like it's a secret for chrissakes. So was it just anxiety that escalated?" she asked, surprisingly accurate.
"Yeah."
"How long was it before Ryan forced you outside that you left? Months..."
"Years."
"Oh, wow," she said, brows raising. "So, you being here... this is huge. Good for you."
It felt good to hear that, to have someone outside of maybe the few people close to me, understand what that meant for someone like me, to know it took a lot out of me to make the moves that, to others, seemed small.
"Thanks," I said, feeling my face getting warm.
"If you ever have an urge to get out without pressure, you can come hang at my place," Fee offered. "In case you want to branch out with new safe zones and whatnot."
"I'll invite you to my place too, but the warehouse isn't all that interesting."
"The warehouse?"
"Yeah, Shane decided to convert an old warehouse. It's a safety thing I guess. It's a huge, open space."
A phone started ringing. Well, not ringing exactly. Her ringtone was a seventies porn theme: bow chicka bow wooooow.
"That'd be the girls. Probably mine," she specified, jumping up to fumble for her purse. "The actual babysitters are likely tied up and duct taped."
With that, she moved off to the kitchen to take the call and Lea tapped my leg with her foot. "You alright?" she asked, brow raised.
I nodded at that. "Yeah."
"I know this is a lot."
"I know I should feel that way, but I'm alright. You guys, actually everyone I've met from Ryan's family, has made it easy. I don't know. You guys aren't like my old friends or family... you just... go with the flow."
Lea smiled at that. "The Mallick family is an interesting group of people. They're all crazy and intense and unique, but for them... nothing is more important than family. So if Ry is serious about you and this is going somewhere, then you will be family too and they are going to accept you like you are. Actually, Helen is itching to get to know you."
"Ryan's mother?" I asked, thinking of the stories he had told me about her.
"Yeah, she likes unique characters. Fee with her twisted past and phone sex. I work part-time in the phone sex thing and my biker background. And then there's you with your agoraphobia."
"I think my thing is a lot less interesting than your things."
"Maybe," she agreed with a shrug. "But I think Helen's thing has less to do with how nuts our stories are and more to do with how well our stories work for her sons. Ryan has always liked sweet, nice, normal girls. Like when I first met Ryan he brought a date to Helen's dinner and she was just too sweet and too good and when Helen told her that Ryan is an enforcer, she booked it. So I think she likes that he found a girl that is his style but isn't scared away by the lifestyle."
"Well, I hope she..."
"Oh, no!" she cut me off, reaching out to touch my arm. "No. I didn't mean it to sound like she would be judging you or anything. She just wants to meet the girl who finally got Ryan to get serious. She and Charlie want more grand babies. So if you could get serious fast, I'd appreciate it because since Fee declared she's done popping them out, they're up Shane and my ass about making babies."
I laughed at that. "Well, I will do my best," I agreed with a smile.
"That's all I'm asking," she said, dramatically as Fee sighed.
"Alright, I have to go save the girls. I think they have gone gray with my hellions. And since Lea drove in with me..."
"It was really nice getting to know you guys," I said, meaning it. "And thank you so much for all the supplies. That was really sweet."
"Don't mention it," Lea said.
"Oh, wait, I forgot something," Fee said at the same time, going to her purse and digging in. And then she pulled out the biggest box of condoms I had ever seen. "The only good sex is safe sex, so until you feel comfortable enough to hit a clinic again, keep yourself from getting knocked up with these. I have a limitless supply."
"I heard of the fishbowls," I agreed, as she dropped it with the rest of the things. "Thank you," I added as we all moved as a unit to the door and said our goodbyes.
