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Namely, Mark.
But also the chance for all the things I had let myself hope and believe that I could have.
I dropped down into my seat and turned to look out the window, for some reason wanting to torture myself, and watching as the train started moving and the world I had started to build was left behind.
Maybe we were wrong.
Maybe they weren't looking for us.
Wherever we each ended up, we would all do some research, try to find some information on what was going on in Navesink Bank on this particular day, if maybe there was an Amber Alert or some sort of local robbery or someone broke out of a jail or was in the middle of a killing spree in one of the surrounding states; all those things would cause a higher police presence on the streets.
But we needed to be sure.
"Scott," a voice said at my side, making my head jerk over to find Kingston looming over me from the aisle, looking down with dark, sad eyes.
And then the unthinkable happened.
I burst out in tears.
I was pretty sure, outside of during my mother's illness and then death, that I had never openly cried in front of any of my brothers.
Which was why it wasn't so unusual that King looked positively stricken when it happened. His body jerked backward; his eyes went almost comically huge; there was a good, long pause before he dropped into the seat beside me. Then it was another moment before I felt his wide palm pulling my hands away from my face. But it was just a second between then and when I felt myself hauled into his chest with his strong arms around me.
He didn't say anything.
There was nothing to say.
He just held me and let me soak through his shirt.
It was when we finally slowed down to wait to pull into Penn Station that cell reception picked back up and we both started ringing off the hook, making me pull away with a truly ugly sniffling sound as I raked my hands down my face to get rid of the leftover tears.
"Yeah," King answered, sounding distracted, and I could feel his gaze on me. "No. Yeah, she's with me. Where are you at?"
Sitting so close, I could hear Rush's voice telling King that he had gotten on the train behind ours which was leading out toward the shore instead of the city. Nixon and Atlas apparently got to the car and were heading back up toward the cabin.
No one seemed to be followed.
"False alarm?" I asked when King hung up and looked at the mess I was sure I looked like right in that moment.
"I dunno. That just seemed too unusual," he said objectively. "We had been in Navesink Bank for weeks and never saw anything like that. They were definitely looking for someone. And seeing as most of the bad guys in town have the cops paid-off, I think it was smart to get out of there until we know for sure. Probably being paranoid, but let's just make sure."
I nodded, unable to find any flaw in that logic. Some things weren't worth the risk.
Like jail time.
"Yeah. Are we going to meet at the cabin?"
"Figured we could just chill in the city since that's where we are headed anyway. Atlas and Nixon can go up to the cabin and pack up. We needed to clean and clear out of there soon anyway. Rush can hang near Navesink Bank and do some sniffing around."
"Sounds like a plan," I agreed, forcing a smile I didn't feel at all.
"Call him," King said, voice firm, but sweet at the same time.
"What?"
"Call Mark. Explain. Don't do this."
This.
This was what had to be done. This was the reality of the life I had chosen to live. This was not something he should have to deal with- the uncertainty, the possibility of me ending up in jail, or needing to run.
It wasn't fair to do that to him.
So this was me doing the only right thing.
I was ending it before things got too out of hand, before feelings got too intense, before I had to break not only my heart (which was just a pile of ash in my chest right then) but his as well.
I was saving him from my uncertain future before it became his as well.FOURTEENMark"You've got the be fucking kidding me," I growled, kicking my leg out, and sending a vase crashing against the wall, shooting glass and water everywhere.
Granted, I knew she was a flight risk.
She ran away once before.
But this was different.
This was after we had spent some time together. She had met my family. We had discussed her possible future.
Then the next thing I know, she's fucking run off again?
Why?
The why, though, seemed to be something I wouldn't have answers for since her phone just kept going to the goddamn robotic voicemail.
