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Clay looked down the table at Baer and Grey. They’d all stopped eating, though there was still plenty on their plates. Appetites were gone under the weight of their conversation. They were already doubting themselves without worrying about mistakes they’d made in past lives.
“Okay, say we gather the Circle together again. We get damn good at our powers. We finally beat the pestilents once and for all. What then?” Clay demanded. Flo’s brow was furrowed with lines, and she shook her head a little at him as if she didn’t understand him. “We get to go back to our old lives then, right? You take your powers away, and everything returns to normal?”
“What are you going back to, Clay?” Flo said carefully. “You traveled constantly, even before you felt the call. You barely see your family. You had no purpose. No drive. You were alone. Empty. Why return to that?”
Flo’s soft words cut deep because they were so damn true.
But Clay still found himself shoving away from the table and to his feet. “I didn’t sign up for this bullshit. I don’t want this life. Give it to someone else.”
He turned and walked through the house, ignoring the voices calling after him. They were fucking goddesses. If they wanted him to stop, they could stop him.
They didn’t, though. Clay walked right out the front door and kept going down the driveway. His feet stopped of their own accord right before he reached the gravel of the road.
Where the hell was he going?
Flo was right. He’d been running for so damn long. He didn’t know what he wanted for his life.
This thing he’d been born to was something. It was a good purpose.
But it was so damn big. What if he failed?
What if he’d already failed the Circle, and he was the reason they’d been killed in the first place?
What if he failed and Dane was killed?
But if he left now, would that put Dane in even more danger?Chapter 15Clay knocked on Dane’s door just before midnight. His feet just led him there, and he’d given in to the impulse. The light glowing through the second-floor windows beckoned him.
Dane opened the door and stepped aside as an invitation to enter. He quietly watched Clay walk into his apartment and shut the door behind him, leaning back against it. “You look like you’re having a bad evening.”
“I’ve had better.” Clay stood in the middle of the kitchen. “Mind if I’m here? I didn’t feel like being alone or with the other guys tonight.”
“You’re always welcome here. Want a beer?”
“Sure.”
Clay turned, his eyes following Dane has he crossed the tiny kitchen to the fridge. The handyman had changed into a pair of old basketball shorts and a ragged T-shirt for lounging in his off-hours. There was something pleasantly intimate and comfortable seeing Dane like this.
With a weak smile of thanks, Clay accepted the beer and propped a hip against the counter. “So, tell me, Dane. What do you want out of life?”
Dane’s brow furrowed, and his full lips pulled into a frown as he stared at Clay for a second. It was beginning to feel like Dane could read his turmoil just as easily as Grey could. “Heavy question. One I’m not sure how to answer, because my needs are simple.”
“I’m not talking about needs but want. What do you desire?”
His shoulders lifted in a small shrug. “I’d like my business to be a success. Other than that, I can’t think of anything. I had what I wanted and lost it.”
Clay plucked at the label on his bottle, his finger swiping through the condensation. “I’ve never known what I wanted either. Feel like I’ve been searching for something my whole life.”
“Maybe there’s a reason your wandering brought you here.”
“Oh, I think there is. I’m just not sure I understand it yet.”
Or maybe it wasn’t a matter of understanding anymore but one of acceptance. He wasn’t ready to accept what Flo and Jo had told him. Couldn’t accept what he felt for the two men they called brothers. Couldn’t accept what he was apparently destined for and how that was going to impact what he might be able to have with Dane.
They stared at each other for several long moments before a sweet smile spread on Dane’s lips. “I’ve got Netflix. How about a movie?”
Some of the tension pulling Clay’s shoulders tight eased, and Clay could release the breath trapped in his chest. “That sounds nice.”
They picked a thriller neither had seen and settled on the small sofa together. Partway into the film, Clay lifted his arm and gestured Dane close. The sexy man eyed him for a moment; then he scooted over to settle under Clay’s arm. He felt so good against him, so natural. Clay briefly shut his eyes, soaking in this feeling of rightness, like a second missing puzzle piece was sliding so easily into place.
