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Noah swung his legs around and sat up. The changes in his friend when he compared Rowe now to Rowe then, came to him in phases. They’d shared a lot during their time in the service, lived through situations that would have flattened weaker men, and Rowe had managed to keep that upbeat spark, that ability to find trouble in the most creative ways imaginable, and that general, sexy as hell, good nature even when he was screwing up. He was more reserved now, more cautious and quick to worry and Noah understood the reasons why and they broke his heart. The old Rowe didn’t hesitate or debate or weigh his words. He just dove right in and told you exactly how he saw it, anyone’s feelings be damned.
What surprised him was though he’d been crazy attracted to the Rowe of their past, this new Rowe stirred him in ways that were already starting to worry him.
Vlad, picking up on Rowe’s agitation, sat up and watched him pace. He let out a soft whine.
“Rowe? What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know.” Rowe’s voice came out rusty and he cleared his throat. “I honestly don’t. Ian has some things in his past and normally I’m the one of our friends who insists he’s cool and ready to date.” Rowe stopped and wrapped his hands around the water bottle he’d been sloshing onto the floor. Daisy stooped to lick it up. “It’s just that you aren’t planning on moving here, are you?”
Noah shrugged. “I don’t know. Like I told you, I don’t know what I want to do next. I might decide to stay here. What does that have to do with me finding Ian attractive?”
Green eyes locked with his and his entire body became as rigid as a steel pole. “You find him attractive?”
“Yeah,” Noah said slowly. “I thought that was pretty obvious. The man is gorgeous. All your damn friends are. It's kind of ridiculous, really. But he was the single one.”
“So you liked him because he was the only one available?”
He studied his friend with narrowed eyes. “No, Rowe. Homosexual men don’t instantly imprint on the only available gay man every time there’s one around.”
Rowe released a loud sigh. “I know that. Those men you met tonight are more family than anything else. I spend a lot of my time with them. A lot.”
“I like Ian because he seems really great.”
“And because he’s pretty.”
Noah grinned, wondering if Rowe was even remotely aware of the body language he was throwing off. This wasn’t just a warning. This…this was something else. “Well yeah, of course. I don’t get why there’s a problem.” He set his bottle down on the coffee table and stood, ready to mess with Rowe. “The man has a right to date, Rowe. He seemed receptive to the idea of going out. And what does it matter how long I'm here? If it’s just that you don’t want me going out with your friend, I won’t. You know that, right?”
“I do. And no, that’s not it. He’s a nice guy. So are you. If I were going to pick someone good enough for Ian, it would be you.”
“Then what’s the problem here? And I didn’t say I wanted a relationship. Sometimes a guy just wants to get laid.”
Rowe flinched, looked away from him. “I vaguely remember that feeling,” he muttered.
Noah walked around the coffee table and put his hands on Rowe’s shoulders. “How long has it been?”
“I’m not fucking talking about this.”
Noah ignored him. He kept his voice low as something twisted in his gut at Rowe’s expression. “You haven’t been with anyone since your wife, have you?”
Red seeped up Rowe’s neck. “No, I haven’t.” He suddenly glared. “Is that what you wanted to hear?”
“Wanted?” Noah let him go and clenched his hands into fists. This was no longer funny. “Why would I want to hear that? I lived around you and even fucking lived with you. Your sex drive would shame most porn stars. You think I don’t remember how often you picked up women? Ever think that I might be worried you’ve closed yourself off to something you liked an awful lot?”
“Hey, I have a few memories of my own, Keegan.” Rowe stepped into his space. “You don’t think I remember you never picking anyone up? Why are you all up in my face about my lack of a sex drive when you don’t have one?”
“Oh, I have a sex drive. And I sure as fuck did back then, too. I just didn’t share it until—”
That night in Prague filled the air between them like a solid wall.
“And how do you think that makes me feel, huh? I’ve always thought we were friends. Good friends. How do you think it feels to know you kept such a huge part of yourself secret from me?” He crossed his arms. “So back then, were you picking up pretty boys like Ian? In secret?”
