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“You don’t have to come down with me; I’m okay on my own.”
“I know. I’m not.”
“Oh.” She looks confused, which is understandable since I haven’t explained anything.
In the elevator, I pull her against me and rest my cheek on top of her head. I’m gonna be grumpy later from lack of sleep. I don’t care right now, though.
Once we get to the lobby I walk her to the front doors.
“I thought you said you weren’t coming out,” she says.
I shrug, holding the door open, and follow after her. There’s a small sedan with a guy leaning against the hood. I open the passenger door, toss her bag inside, and usher her in. She looks a little disappointed, until I slide in beside her.
“What’re you doing?”
“Coming along so I can have more time with you.”
“You’re crazy. Aren’t you leaving for Chicago this morning?”
“Not until later. I’ll be back in plenty of time.”
“Don’t you need sleep?”
“I’ll do that on the ride back, and on the plane. C’mere.” I hold an arm out, and she snuggles into me. I pull her onto my lap and stretch out on the backseat.
I know this is a problem. I want to do more than just have sex with her. I want to make the problem worse. “You should move to Chicago.”
She laughs. It’s tired-sounding and only half awake. “Alex bought Sunny a house last week. She’s moving in over the holidays.”
“You should move then, too. Think of all the free orgasms that would come along with that.”
I get another laugh. She snuggles in closer. “I’m orgasmed out right now.”
“I’d be able to dole them out regularly instead of all at once if you lived closer.”
“Sounds nice. I’d still need to find a job, though.”
“I’m happy to make a call. Like I said before, there’s a lot of opportunity in Chicago for skating instructors. You’re amazing on the ice—like, Olympic ability.”
She makes this noise, like a huff.
“It’s true.”
“I almost went to the trials,” she says quietly.
“Almost? What happened?” I hope she’ll tell me more than Miller did.
“It’s an expensive sport, like hockey. My dad stopped paying child support, and the money wasn’t there for training, even with sponsors.”
“Shit, Lily. That’s just—” Losing her chance because of finances seems criminal.
“Shitty?”
“That’s not really a strong enough word. What would it take to get you back in?” I wonder what kind of strings I could pull to make it happen for her.
She laughs and lifts her head. “I’m too old, and I don’t do pairs anymore. It would take years to get back to where I was. Plus there’s still the money.”
“Can’t you get it out of your dad? Where is he? Want me to hunt him down?”
She laughs. It’s breathy and embarrassed now. “You can probably look him up in the hockey rosters. He played for the NHL. My mom was a one-night stand who ended up pregnant. She kept me, and he bailed.”
“What’s his last name?”
“Head. He played for North Carolina for about five years. He was good, but not great—third string. Last time I heard, he was living on an island somewhere, and he’d blown most of his money—hence the lack of payments.”
“That doesn’t make it okay.” I’m angry that her potential was squandered.
“Not everyone gets to live their dream, Randy.” Her eyes are soft when she looks at me. “Don’t feel sorry for me. I have more than a lot of people. We’re almost at the rink. You should kiss me until we get there.”
***
I sleep all the way back to the hotel. I have just enough time to get packed up and meet everyone at the bus.
Miller shuffles over, drops his bag, and sighs. “I need some serious sleep.”
“Yeah.” I’m not capable of full conversations with words and stuff.
“I can’t wait until Sunny’s in Chicago permanently,” he mumbles.
“Not long now.” I stuff my hands in my pockets, thinking about the conversation with Lily in the car.
“Just a few more weeks. How was your night?”
“It got a lot better when Lily showed up.”
“Definitely a better option than the bunny I took off your hands,” Lance says.
Miller looks at me, his expression stony. “You were gonna bunny fuck?”
I shoot Lance a look. “No. She was persistent and couldn’t take a hint.”
Miller pinches the bridge of his nose. “You need to watch yourself, Balls.”
“I’m not gonna make your life more difficult, Miller. Lily came to get balled. That’s it.”
He takes a couple of deep breaths and runs his hand through his hair, making the short strands stand on end. “It’s not my life I’m worried about. I’m too tired to deal with this right now.” He leaves me standing there and gets on the bus.
I don’t bother to sit next to him since we’ve got lots of room. I take a seat near the front. I try to sleep all the way to the airport, but I can’t. All I can think about is what might’ve happened if Lily hadn’t shown up.
