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She makes a little noise, like maybe she doesn’t want to, but she lets me ease her off. I pull her up and kiss her, probably harder than I should. She moans into my mouth when my tongue finds hers.
I need a minute to calm the fuck down before I get inside her, but Poppy seems to have other ideas. She tears the condom open.
“Just hold on, ’kay?” I cover her hand with mine.
“Is everything all right?” Worry makes her voice low.
“Yeah, yeah.” I stroke her cheek. “I’m a little too jacked right now, and I don’t want this to be over before it even gets started.”
“Oh.” She grins.
“Are you smirking at me?”
“Do you want me to smirk at you?” she asks, all sassy sweet.
“I’ll tell you what I want.” I lay her down, shifting her until her head rests on the pillows, her red hair spread across the pale green.
“What’s that?” she asks, reaching up for me with the hand that isn’t holding the condom.
“I wanna know what it feels like to be inside you.”
“Then you should find out.”
I straddle her hips so she can put the condom on, which I’ve never let anyone else do. Her fingers are gentle and warm as she grips me, and it feels so fucking good. Everything about her is perfect. She rolls the condom down my shaft, her eyes lifting to mine when I’m sheathed. I have to fight not to rush this; I want to be in her so badly.
I shift so I’m between her parted thighs. Lowering myself, I slide one hand under her shoulder so I can cradle the back of her head, and I use the other one to guide me.
And then it’s so much more than just hot and wet. It’s more than chasing down an orgasm. It’s like I’m being enveloped in everything good, and I don’t want it to stop. I keep my eyes on hers as I sink into her body.
Her mouth drops open, and my name comes out a whisper.
“You feeling that?” I ask.
She whispers a nearly silent yes, and her fingertips drift down my cheek and over my lips. I see her fear. I feel it echoing around in my chest. But I smile. And after a moment, she smiles too.
I get it now, that this is the way it’s supposed to be. This feeling is what I’ve been missing. I slip my finger under the back of her knee and pull her leg up, wrapping it around my waist.
If I could find a way to be any more inside her, I would.
I kiss her as I move until we can’t keep the rhythm any more. I hold myself above her, our eyes locked. The only sounds are her soft pleas for me not to stop, and the whispered affirmation that I make her feel so good.
When I make her come, it’s exactly how I thought it would be—like my world will end if I can’t have her like this again. For the first time in my entire life, I understand what it means to be with someone who will give and not just take.CHAPTER 18AFTERGLOW
POPPY
I half expect Lance to leave when the sex is over.
I don’t know why. Beyond his intensity, which is high, he’s been incredibly attentive—in bed and out of it. Maybe I’m expecting it because this kind of sex entails a lot of connection for someone who seems to have a significant aversion to it.
I’m wrapped up in him, both of my hands caught in one of his against his chest. I assume it’s his way of keeping me close without giving me free rein to touch him. His other hand glides up and down my arm. We’re still on top of the covers, never having made it under them for the sex part.
My bed is a double. Lance takes up a good two-thirds of the space, and his feet hang off the end. I’ve considered upgrading to a queen, but it hasn’t been much of a priority as I’ve been sleeping alone for the better part of a year. It’s not that I haven’t dated. It’s that I haven’t found anyone I’m particularly interested in. Until now, of course.
But I have no idea what’s going to happen with Lance beyond tonight. His wanting to “see where it goes” could’ve been a ploy to end up here. Although it seems an elaborate ploy, if that’s the case.
“Do you have to be up early tomorrow?” he asks.
“No. I don’t have appointments until the afternoon, and tomorrow is a light day.”
There’s a long pause before he asks uncertainly, “Can I stay?”
I lift my head so I can see if his expression matches his tone. “Here?”
His eyes shift away. “Or I can go. Whatever.” He releases my hands and pushes up on one elbow.
