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“It’s a big step, but it makes the most sense, don’t you think? I’m already going to miss you and Kody when I’m on the road, and when I’m home I want to be with you. I was kind of hoping you wanted the same.”
Moving in with him means that slice of complete independence is gone, but at the same time, he makes a good point. We can’t be partners, not the way I think we both want, if I’m living under a different roof. He wants to be part of our lives, and I want the same. And that’s what love is—learning how to lean on someone else, doing it together.
“It’ll be just like Alaska, except you already have friends here, and once you come to practice you’ll get to know the girls better. You don’t have to decide right now. I just want to make it easier for us to spend time together, as a family and as a couple. Think about it, okay?”
“Okay. I can do that.”
“Good.” His hands settle on my waist. “Now bring those lips here—I need a hit of your love before bed.”
I lean in for a kiss that turns into sweet, slow lovemaking. It’s as much a distraction from all the things RJ is asking as it is a way to show me that he loves me and needs me just as much as I’m starting to accept that I need him.Three days later, Kody and I accompany RJ to practice. I changed my outfit an unreasonable number of times, until RJ finally told me jeans and a team shirt with his name emblazoned on the back are perfect. He’s right: the arena isn’t crowded with people like I’ve seen when I watch game reruns with him. Instead there’s a smattering of observers spread out in the seats. RJ shows me around and introduces me to the players I haven’t met before, which makes me nervous since it means I have a whole bunch of new names to remember. Typically I have a great memory, but when I’m nervous it can be a challenge.
I’m relieved when I start to recognize a few of the guys who came over to RJ’s while my parents were visiting, and as soon as I see Sunny’s blonde hair, Poppy’s wavy red mane, and Violet’s auburn ponytail I’m totally at ease. I’m learning, slowly, that I can’t control all the things that happen in my life—but I can control how I react to them. The only way to conquer my fears is to face them with as many safety nets in place as possible.
“It’s so great to see you again.” Sunny gives me a side hug, since we’re both holding babies. And when we try to separate, we have to untangle each other’s hair from our infants’ fists.
“I gotta change and get on the ice. You’ll be okay?” RJ kisses Kody on top of the head and me on the lips.
Violet scoffs. Even though her husband doesn’t play for the team anymore, she still likes to come to the games so she can hang out with the rest of the girls. “She’ll be fine, Rookie—this is a bunny-free zone today, so we won’t have to teach her how to take down a puck slu—”
One of the other women slaps her arm—I’m pretty sure her name is Charlene. “Vi, censor.”
Violet cringes. “Right. Sorry. She’s in good hands.”
RJ kisses me one last time and disappears down the hall toward the locker room.
Violet slips her arm through mine. “We’re so excited that you came today! I didn’t really get much of a chance to talk to you when we came to Rook’s, but your dad is great. Anyway, I wanted to tell you that we’re all so glad you gave Rook a second chance, because this is pretty much the happiest he’s been in over a year. You know, when he came back from Alaska last year, we were all worried about him. He’s usually such a positive guy, but man, he was like Eeyore for a good six months, black cloud of doom hanging over his head.”
“Really?”
“Oh yes, he was just so sad.” Sunny pats her baby’s bottom, and her three blond boys rush on ahead of us, along with Violet’s and Poppy’s sons. The three older boys are trying to keep control of the younger ones. “We all thought it was because of the anniversary of his father passing away.”
“Because he used to go to Alaska with his dad and his brother, and he ended up having to go alone last summer.”
“Exactly.” Sunny nods. “So the guys thought it had to be that, but then he told them about you, and well, we all realized he was just heartbroken.” She blinks a few times, like she’s on the verge of tears. She waves a hand in front of her face. “Sorry, I’m in the first trimester, and I get more emotional than usual. I hate to see people hurting, and Rookie was down for such a long time.”
