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His eyes narrowed, as if I’d slapped him across the face. “We can have both. We can have a professional relationship and a personal one.”
I would risk my job for him in a heartbeat because he was worth it. If we were together for years and then went our separate ways, and then it became so awkward that I couldn’t work for him anymore, it would still be worth it. But that wasn’t the problem. “You just…aren’t the kind of man I’m looking for.” There was one person in the world I would always love more than anyone else. I could never be with somebody who wouldn’t love her just as much. I hadn’t been in a relationship with anyone because I’d decided to wait until she was out of the house before settling down with a husband. I would make an exception to that for Derek, but I knew how he felt about my daughter without him even knowing about her.
Derek had nothing to say to that.
I turned away and picked up my purse from the table. I took my time because I didn’t want to face him. Whenever I looked at him, I would think about that scorching kiss. I would think that I’d just lost the perfect man.
He came closer to me and met me at the door. He wore an expression I’d never seen before, like he didn’t know what to make of the last thing I said. It was probably the first time in his life a woman had turned him down, and he had no idea what to do.
“I should go…” I moved to the door.
Derek let me go and didn’t touch me again.
Now this would be awkward no matter what I did, no matter what I said. We would just have to push through it until we stopped thinking about it. “Good night…” I walked down the hallway and didn’t look back.TenDerekI left the lobby and approached the black Escalade waiting for me. There was a heavy sense of dread in my heart, and with every step, that unease worsened. I didn’t regret my actions from the night before. I wasn’t ashamed of her rejection. I was simply bewildered by it.
I wasn’t the kind of man she was looking for.
What kind of man was she looking for? Why didn’t I qualify? What were her prerequisites? I examined the issue like she was a machine that required the input of specific data, but I had no idea what that data was.
I approached the back door and got inside.
Ronnie greeted me, like he did every morning. “Good morning, Mr. Hamilton.”
“Morning.” I knew Emerson was beside me without looking at her. I wasn’t a coward, but I didn’t want to address her directly. Our kiss from the night before was still on my lips. I could still taste her. I could still feel her. My unusual memory capacity made me relive things like they were happening in real time. I went over that moment over and over.
She didn’t greet me either.
It was a long, awkward drive to my office. I pulled out my paperwork from my satchel and got to work, pretending she wasn’t beside me at all. My work usually occupied my mind to the exclusion of all other matters, but in this case, it wasn’t strong enough to make me forget her entirely.
When we arrived at my office, we took the golf cart to the compound, and I walked inside without looking back. When I’d kissed her, I’d thought it was a preamble to a deep relationship, and based on our connection, I’d assumed she wanted the same thing. I never did anything spontaneously, so I’d rehearsed that moment in my head many times before I executed it. I assumed our feelings were mutual, so her rejection was a complete surprise.
Now I didn’t know what to do.
I went to work right away and tried to forget the whole episode. Emerson went to work in my office and then eventually left to go to my corporate office across the compound. When she wasn’t around, I felt a lot more comfortable, but she was never far from my thoughts.
Jerome came to my side. “You okay, man?”
I stared down at my work and didn’t meet his gaze. “Yeah. Why?”
“Because you look pissed.”
I raised my chin and met his look. “I always look like this.”
He shook his head as he chuckled. “Trust me, you don’t.”Days went by, and we didn’t speak to each other. I expected her to try to rectify the situation, but she just let it be. Instead of getting better in time, it seemed to get worse. I felt like I’d lost her altogether because our old friendship wasn’t there any longer.
But I didn’t know what to do about it.
You aren’t the kind of man I’m looking for.
