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I took a big drink of my scotch.
“So…you going to tell me or what?”
My eyes stayed on the lights, wondering where Emerson was at that moment. Probably at home…with her daughter. When I saw her resignation letter on my desk, I knew I’d fucked up bad, that I didn’t even deserve to ask her to stay. But that fear of letting her go made me realize just how I really felt about her. That made the whole situation worse. There was no way for us to be together, but I still didn’t want to go backward, go back to my promiscuous ways.
Ryan studied me.
“It’s Emerson—”
“Derek?” Fleur’s French accent fell on our ears.
Fuck.
Ryan waggled his eyebrows at me and clapped me on the shoulder. “Good luck, man.” He headed back inside, leaving me alone with the woman who was still obsessed with me, all this time later.
She was dressed in a black bikini with a silver chain around her slender stomach that attached to her navel piercing. Her hair was curled, her makeup dark, and she wore enormous pumps despite the fact that she was on a boat and could break her ankle and fall overboard. She came over to me, her arm pressing against mine when she touched the rail.
I was unhappy. I was confused. I’d finally found a woman I wanted to be with—and she was the one woman I couldn’t have.
Fleur stared at me, the breeze moving through her hair. In the low lighting, she looked even more beautiful. With those full lips and light-colored eyes, she was practically angelic. Her hand wrapped around my wrist, and she came closer, about to press a kiss to my jawline. “I miss you…”
One woman popped into my mind, a woman who didn’t have my commitment, a woman to whom I owed nothing. But she was there anyway, with her dark brown hair, her sincere smile, her lips that had only kissed me once but filled my soul completely. It was deep and meaningful, satisfying.
Fleur was cheap. “I’m not doing this again.” I walked back inside and joined Ryan on the couch.When I got into the Escalade on Monday morning, I was relieved to see her there, grateful she’d taken me back after I’d crossed the line with my unacceptable behavior. And I was happy to see her smile, like she was happy to be sitting beside me, like she never wanted to take that other job.
“Morning.” She was in a long-sleeved sweater dress, her brown hair curled and pulled over one shoulder. She had a shiny watch on her wrist and tall, knee-high boots up her legs. She didn’t wear a lot of makeup, so her natural beauty came through so easily, and it did right now.
I just stared.
Fuck.
I was practically hypnotized by the sound of her voice, the way she looked, the way light shone from her heart and parted the clouds. “Morning…”
Ronnie started the drive to the lab.
“How was your weekend?”
We couldn’t talk about the past because it would just make our professional relationship awkward, but there wasn’t much to say anyway. I said my piece; she said hers. Now we were back to colleagues and friends…but it was hard because I was hung up on this woman.
I didn’t realize how strongly I felt until I kissed her.
And she blew my fucking mind.
Fucking Fleur would just be a disappointment, and I would feel dirty afterward, like I’d betrayed Emerson.
I was still in this relationship, a relationship that didn’t even exist.
Jesus.
Emerson’s smile faded away when I didn’t answer the question. “Derek?”
“Yes?”
“How was your weekend?”
I forget she’d asked the question. “It was fine. Yours?”
“Good.” Her smile came back, but it was slightly pained, like she’d been thinking about me all weekend, just as I’d been thinking about her.Normally, time flew by quickly during the day because time was my most limiting resource. Every day, every year, I was fighting the clock, trying to accomplish as much as I could. The human lifespan was relatively short, and people always assumed they had more time than they actually did.
But that day, I was distracted.
By her.
She brought us lunch and spread it out across the table before she excused herself to my office so she could eat alone.
I walked to the table with my eyes on her, getting a final glimpse before she sat on the couch and disappeared.
Pierre grabbed a burrito and took a bite. “Looks like you pulled your head out of your ass, Derek.”
I grabbed the burrito and put it on my plate before grabbing a few other items. “Yeah…”
He nudged me in the side before he walked away. “I’m happy she’s back.”
I carried my food into the office, feeling my heart race in trepidation. She sat in the very spot on the couch where I’d imagined her on top of me, her dress pulled to her hips and her underwear somewhere on the floor. I tried to push the thoughts from my head because I remembered how those fantasies used to make me come hard. “Can I join you?” I sat on the couch across from her.
