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“I know it must be hard to wrap your mind around this. How can your wonderful daddy come to a guy like me and take out a loan? Well, the answer is simple. Your dad borrowed enough money to pay for a years’ worth of school.” My eyes grow wide as tears threaten to leak from them.
“I even gave him some extra time to pay me back, since I’m such a nice guy, but he still couldn’t come up with the cash.”
The secrets are accumulating at a rate that I can’t even begin to believe.
My father went behind my back and borrowed money from someone dangerous. Why didn’t he just go to a bank like other people? He lied and told me everything was okay.
Looking at the big picture, it’s clear to me that absolutely nothing is okay. Nothing about this situation is okay. Nothing about a gun being pointed at my father’s head is okay!
“I was okay, Amara, everything was okay. Then there was a bad storm, and we lost almost all of the crops. I couldn’t afford to pay…” The earnestness in my father’s voice tells me he is trying to make me understand, and I do, but I still can’t rectify the lies and the danger we are now in.
“Shut up! The time for talking is over. I’m tired of hearing your excuses,” Lorenzo yells, his words echoing off the drab walls of our farmhouse. His voice is authoritative and commanding as if his words hold a power that everyone bows to. He looks as if he is used to being obeyed and doesn’t tolerate any insubordination. His eyes fall onto me, his gaze possessing me, holding me prisoner. Their darkness is overwhelming and makes me wonder if any good can be found in him.
Silence falls over us as I push the tears away and put my thinking cap on. There has to be a way out of all of this. There has to be a way to earn the money so we can pay these men back. The danger that surrounds these men tells me that it will be a mighty feat, but I’m not scared of a little hard work. My momma didn’t raise no quitter.
My eyes scan the old blue wallpaper that lines the living room walls. My mom had wanted it, she loved it so much that after we lost her to cancer, we never took it down or painted over it—no point in doing so since it wouldn’t make the hurt go away. Instead, we just kept it as a vivid reminder, something to hold her memory and keep her here with us even when she isn’t. God, I wish that wallpaper held some answers.
“There has to be a way to repay…” I don’t get to finish my sentence because he abruptly stands up and walks menacingly toward me. The man at my back releases my hair and pushes me forward, so my body is almost touching Lorenzo’s. I stumble and fall to my knees. Lorenzo holds his hand out, gesturing for me to stay below him.
“To repay me? Well, in fact, there is,” he says huskily, coming down on his haunches. He smells of high class and elegance; two things I’m not used to.
I’m filtering through my thoughts for an answer. My father has borrowed money from someone who is obviously very capable of killing people. Who has probably already killed many people.
“You could be a good girl and help your dad out. He did borrow money to pay for your school, after all.”
The way he says ‘good girl’ has my skin crawling. Goosebumps erupt across my skin. I don’t actually know how I could help, but whatever he is thinking, I will at least try.
“I will get a job, so we can pay you back in payments or…” I have to throw it out there. His full-on laughter cuts me off. He is an asshole, and I’m certain everyone in the room knows it. I glare at him as I watch a huge smile form on his face.
“Payments… Hmm… That’s a problem, dear Amara.” My name falls from his lips like a prayer, causing more goosebumps to pebble across my arms. I feel the need to ask him to keep saying it, but at the same time, the dark look he is giving me makes me want to piss myself.
I shake both of those feelings away. I won’t cower down on the floor any longer. I stand up and straighten my back.
“Problem? I don’t see what the problem is if you’re being paid back. Do you?”
I pretend to be calm and cool, determined to somehow find a way out of this mess. I can’t lose my father, especially after just losing my mother.
In terror, I watch as Lorenzo pulls a gun from his holster, I stumble backward, barely catching myself before I hit the floor again.
