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“There isn’t any saving me, Amara. There is no stopping whatever will happen from happening. I helped you through your loss because it was my fault. It was my jo—”
“Just shut up already.” She stuns me into silence once more. I grit my teeth so hard I’m afraid my jaw will shatter. “It’s my fault your mother’s dead. So why not hate me, too? Why not fucking ruin it all because you can’t move on?”
She’s seething, her tears of hurt turning into tears of anger. I’ve caused this destruction without even meaning to. I knew from the start I would break her, hurt her, and still, I’ve tried. I tried to be so much more than what I was, but she can’t expect me to be a completely different person.
“I don’t know what to say,” I mutter, astounded at her behavior and how the night’s events have played out.
“Nothing. Say nothing because when this is all over, I will be the one to walk away from you, not the other way around. And don’t you dare tell me I can’t leave. I will fucking leave. I’d rather slit my own wrists than stay with you!”
She could have sucker punched me in the balls, and I wouldn’t have been as shocked. Her words hurt me more than anything I could have imagined. She has said similar things to me before. Telling me she hates me and that she wants to leave. But she never meant them. Not until now.
She would rather die than stay with me.
Giving me one final shove, I stumble backward, stunned by what she just told me. Then she’s running, leaving me. In the back of my mind, a little voice tells me to run after her, to bring her back to me and make her love me, but my body is frozen.
Unable to move a muscle, I feel the walls closing around who I am. Around everything that happened between us.
The debt was settled, but our future wasn’t.14AmaraI’m so fucking stupid. I’m running from him, and by the silence surrounding me, he isn’t following me. Maybe he doesn’t care, maybe none of it matters, but I know if I can’t save him from his own mind, no one can.
I’ve dealt with so much in the last week. I’ve learned my mom had an affair, and James, Jared’s father was my own, and who I thought was my father, had secretly been in the FBI. He had been using me as a pawn in his own personal game.
“Why the fuck do I even care?” I growl to myself, falling to my knees in the park. I have been running for what seems like forever, but really hasn’t been more than ten minutes.
As I sink further into the ground, I wonder why I was even trying. Why I didn’t call Jared and tell him to take me as far away as he could and hide me. He asked, one time late at night. He said he would do anything he could to contain the sliver of happiness he had.
“You know someone like you, out in a park like this—not really all that safe.” A deep voice rumbles behind me. I turn around, staring into a pair of deep green, vibrant eyes. I know those eyes, the voice, and it did nothing to stop the sickness in my stomach from bubbling over.
“Who cares what is safe anymore.” I’m stupid—so fucking stupid. I know it, and Eli knows it, too. Maybe that’s why he’s here. Maybe Enzo called him to fetch me, or worse…
“Obviously, not you. There’s a basket case fucking man searching the hills for you, and you’re running in the park alone.”
“After all I’ve gone through, I almost want to fucking give up and turn myself in. Have you ever just been tired of running?” I ask, not really sure why.
Squatting down on his heels, he looks me straight in the eyes. “I live a double life, Amara. I’m pretty sure I have thought about running more than you ever have in your entire life.”
“Then, why don’t you?”
He smiles. “There is no point in running. If I run, I’ll be running forever, and what fun would that be? I wouldn’t get much sleep at night, having to look over my shoulder at every corner.”
It makes sense. Running is the same as sitting and waiting. Both cause a knot of anxiety to form in your belly. I guess all I really want is freedom.
“Did he send you to fetch me?” I growl, changing the subject.
“No. He doesn’t even know I’m with you right now.” His voice is calm, but something about the fact Enzo didn’t know sent shivers down my spine. I still can’t be certain if Eli is the good guy or the bad?
“Why not?” The wind picks up, pushing my hair into my face, and a shiver runs through my body.
