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"Mia would've checked my privilege pretty fucking fast if I'd tried," I chuckled. "Besides, she was always a responsible girl. The few guys she brought home before she met James and Julian were good to her." I sent Julian a sideways grin. "First time I met Julian, he didn't say much. Shy and sweet, I'd say."
Julian's mouth quirked up a little. "You were loud and way too cheerful."
That made me laugh, a bit wistful. They were hardly days I missed, but…being surrounded by family and Ma's cooking… "I was a starving bastard who didn’t know how to cook. Not that I could afford much more than ramen at that time. Visiting home meant a mountain of food."
"Did you get to see each other often back then?" Felicity asked next.
I shook my head. "Unlike piano wonderboy here, I didn’t have any superior talent to show off when I moved to LA. I studied and worked my ass off, and I was lucky if I saw my family once or twice a year." I smiled faintly at one memory in particular. "Right before my sister moved to Germany, I had to skip a reunion because I'd just gotten the job on my first film set. I was stoked. Then it turned out my only job was to clean up after the crew had lunch."
I remembered being bitter about that one for a while. Not anymore, though. A bunch of those shitty gigs had contributed to the man I was today.
*
Felicity derailed us with more casual conversation while the photographer got his moment to take shots when we were relaxed and just chatting. I had to admit I preferred this to posing.
"How long until you return home?" she asked.
"Ten days or so?" Julian looked to me for confirmation.
I nodded and threw back a handful of peanuts. "Yup, then we're wrapping up the last scenes in LA."
Julian's eyes lit up. "After that, we finally get to post-production."
I knew he was itching to show me what he'd written, as well as the few songs they'd recorded already. I smiled and pressed a kiss to his temple, enjoying his excitement. The photographer enjoyed it for other reasons.
"You look happy, Noah," Felicity noted with a soft grin.
"Hell, yeah." I leaned back again, comfortable. Maybe this interview wasn’t that bad. "My work's always been my passion, and I've never been able to really share it with someone."
My not-so-subtle fuck off to Emma. She hadn't been on my radar in ages, but the social-media war with Sophie had irritated me.
"It's equally refreshing and amazing to see someone so dedicated," I went on. "I learned that fast about Julian. I admire hard work, and he gives everything. I've lost count of the nights he stayed up to tinker with the piano in the living room."
"That’s right, you've lived together a while…?" Felicity looked to both of us, and I let Julian take that one.
"Yes." He nodded. "After we lost our family, I didn’t know where to go. Germany wasn’t home anymore, and staying in Pittsburgh held no appeal. So I bought a plane ticket and flew out to Noah."
"He dragged me out of purgatory." I stroked his neck absently, thinking back on those awful fucking days. "I wasn’t dealing with the grief very well. Having him around made me wanna move forward again."
Julian sent me a shy smirk. "That was mutual."
Felicity evidently found that sweet, and her eyes shone as she drained the last of her wine. "Well. You guys are clearly on a mission to give me cavities." She shook her head and released a breath, then glanced at her notepad. "Never mind, my question isn't on there." She grinned and faced us again. "You obviously found support in each other. You knew what the other was going through." We agreed with that. "That must've had an impact on how you felt, right? I can't even imagine the loss, and to have one person who knew exactly what it was like…"
"It definitely made things easier," I replied. Then I went on to explain the bond we kinda created and how it confused me for a long goddamn time. Attraction came later. It was that connection to Julian I'd never been able to shake. The one I fought for so long because of our…other ties.
Julian spoke of my struggles, too. The withdrawing, the avoiding, the denial. I could tell he wanted to clear my name, so I took over after a while. Aside from the grief and worrying we'd been relying on each other for the wrong reasons, today I mostly chalked it up to social norms. Our relationship wasn't normal in that sense, and despite how open-minded I considered myself, I supposed it was impossible to remain completely unaffected by what society dictated.
Being accepted mattered.
Felicity's personal opinions shone through here and there. She shook her head at people who couldn’t mind their own business and felt the need to spread hate. From a young age, we were encouraged to follow our own paths and be ourselves. But it was pretty fucking difficult when one kept being knocked down for doing just that.
