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His brown gaze seared through me for several long moments before he spoke. “Talk. Okay. You first.”
“Perfect.” The word rushed out of me on a relieved sigh. “Another cocktail?” I needed the liquid courage to say what I needed to say, to reveal the truth to my best friend. To lay my heart and soul bare, because it was no less than what he deserved.
“Sure.” I savored the seconds it took to grab the pitcher from the fridge and fill two tall glasses, handing one to Stone. I’m not ashamed to admit that I stared at the mouthwatering curve of his ass and the muscles in his thighs as he rounded the kitchen table and took a seat that put the table as a firm barrier between us. His message loud and clear.
This wasn’t going to be easy.
“Tenth grade. That was the first time I looked at you as something other than my best friend. You were larger than life back then but every time you turned that smile onto me, it felt like it was just for me.” That smile had made me feel like I was worth more than the future my family had planned for me as a trophy wife and nepotism hire. It made me feel like I was worth something.
“That smile was just for you. Always was.”
“I wanted to tell you about my crush. I wanted to wrap my arms around you and kiss you the way other girls did with their boyfriends. Then Missy Tichenor happened.”
His brows dipped low in confusion as his mind searched the rolodex of girls he’d dated and forgotten over the years, especially the high school years. “Missy?”
I nodded. “And Sally. And Molly. And Monica.” Stone rolled his eyes and I started to feel like a jealous girlfriend, a feeling that made me sick to my stomach, so I continued. “They were girls you’d dated for a few weeks and then you broke up. Never to talk again. Ever.”
Stone opened his mouth to deny it, but he couldn’t and fell back against the wooden kitchen chair. “I was in high school, Soph.”
“I know that, Stone and I swear that I’m not throwing those exes in your face, just trying to explain. It made me realize that if I said something and if you felt the same way, I would be just like Missy and Sally and Molly and Monica. Just some girl you used to know.” Even now, my chest clenched tight at the thought of losing Stone. Except now, I was already on the brink of losing him. “And that terrified me, Stone. And the next year when my whole family packed up and left without me, I knew I had to put those feelings aside or risk losing you forever.”
“Sophie there was never a danger of that happening,” he tried to assure me in soft, soothing tones but I knew better.
“You walked away from me Stone. Twice. Two times in just as many months, you walked away. You pretended I never existed.”
“Sophie-,”
I shook my head and spoke over him. “I know, I was being a jerk and you needed space. I get it now, but watching you walk away on movie night and then watching you drive off, silent and angry, brought those fears back tenfold.”
His shoulders fell in disappointment or maybe it was resignation, I wasn’t sure, all I knew was that he wasn’t listening. Or maybe I was doing a bad job explaining myself. “So you don’t want to lose my friendship?”
“No, not ever. Stone, you mean the whole world to me and I need you to know that.”
“I do,” he said, his voice low, almost inaudible.
“But I realized that my fear of losing you was starting to become a self-fulfilling prophecy. While trying to keep my heart safe from pain, I was pushing you away and I risked losing you anyway.”
“Sophie, that’s never-,”
“Stop!” He blinked and motioned for me to keep talking. “It’s a sobering thought to realize that I might be responsible for my own current misery.” I flashed a shaky smile and took another long, fortifying sip from my glass. “And I had to take a long hard look at myself and my motives. My heart too.”
“And what did you see, Sophie?”
“You,” I smiled. “I saw you, Stone. My best friend. The person who knows me best in this world.” Even thinking of that moment of clarity brought a smile to my face. “I saw you and me, laughing together. Being together. Loving together. Moving to a new and different phase of our friendship.”
His dark brows drew together. “What are you trying to say Sophie.” His words were firm but they weren’t angry and that was…something. Wasn’t it?
I took in a deep breath and let it out on a measured breath and a slow smile. “I’m trying to tell you, pretty inarticulately I guess, that I love you Stone. That I am fully and completely, madly in love with my best friend.”
