Page 36 of Tempting Bad

I read the letter fifteen times, and then I read it again four times every day for the next week. It got to the point where I knew it by heart. After the first few days I started to believe her words.

I’ve learned that you can’t change the past, Brooke, however… the future. That’s a completely different story.

So I turned the page.

To my story…

To his story…

To our story.

“Happy birthday, buddy, are you having a good time?”

“YES!” he shouted, making Christine and I laugh, and then he took off running.

“I can’t believe we have a four year old. How did time go by this fast?” she asked, looking over at him.

“I have no idea. It feels like yesterday that we were bringing him home.”

She nodded, smiling. “You think you will have any more kids? I think he needs some siblings,” she stated, looking behind me.

“Yeah… I’ll get right on that, seeing as I have so many possibilities at my disposal.”

“I think you have one.”

I cocked my head to the side. “What?”

She smiled higher, still looking behind me.

“What are you grinning about?”

She nodded behind me. I turned, and that’s when I saw her. She looked better than I remembered, wearing the exact same outfit I had bought her in New Orleans. Her hair was pulled back into a tight bun, and completely swept away from her face. I watched all of her emotions roll into one through her Bambi eyes, as I stepped closer to her. She wore very minimal makeup; she looked like the girl I would wake up to every morning.

“Sneakers, huh?”

She giggled.

God I missed that sound.

“Believe it or not… I dress like this all the time now.”

I grinned. “Liar.”

She held up three fingers. “Scout’s honor. Someone once told me I should be more comfortable in my own skin, and I agree with him now. My feet very much appreciate it. They were starting to hate me.”

I laughed. “Well you look great.”

“Thanks, you do too.”

“What are you doing here?” I blurted unable to hold in the question any longer.

She bit her cheek, and looked behind me, just as Christine had done minutes before. I took the subtle hint and turned around, I found my mother staring at us. She winked when she caught my gaze, and went right back to talking to one of the guests.

I turned back around to face her. “I see.”

“Yeah… but,” she hesitated, contemplating what to say next. “I was going to… I mean… I’ve been wanting to… I mean… shit I suck at this,” she breathed out.

Her nervousness was adorable, and it took everything inside me not to reach out and grab her. I wanted to hold her in my arms, just to feel her again; the intoxicating smell of her was all around me. I was drunk on it.

She took a deep breath, trying to regain her composure. “What I’m trying to say is that… I was going to call you, or maybe just show up at your office naked.”

I busted out laughing.

“I mean that seemed to work before,” she grinned, beaming. “I’m only being half serious. I missed you. Fuck… Devon, I don’t think I ever stopped missing you. I’m not the same person I used to be. I’ve changed a lot.”

I pointed to her outfit. “I can tell.”

“I’m being serious. I’m Madam, I mean… I’m still Brooke, but I’ve taken over.”

“I know.”

She lowered her eyebrows.

“Ysabelle.”

She nodded, understanding.

“Listen… about that… she and I—”

“I know,” she interrupted. “I know everything. I’m not going to lie to you, and say that it didn’t hurt me, and that it still doesn’t… but I understand. You were both in a bad place, and we rely on those we love for comfort sometimes. Shit happens. It’s in the past. I don’t want to rehash something we can’t change.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry for it all. Every last bit of it,” I honestly replied. “I fucked up.”

“I know, we both did, but you broke my heart, Devon, I mean shattered it. I never thought I would be capable of falling in love with you, and now I don’t think I’m capable of falling out of love with you. A part of me hates you for it. I hate you for making me feel like I can’t breathe. I wake up every morning and I look at my phone, I go to sleep with it clutched in my hand, hoping that I will hear a text message while I sleep. Every day that goes by, and I don’t hear from you… it becomes easier to breathe. I don’t want it to become easier. I don’t want to say goodbye to you. To us.” Her eyes watered. “I haven’t been with anyone since you.”

My eyes widened, shocked.

“We haven’t seen each other—”

“Yeah… I know. I haven’t been with anyone since that night. A little less than a year ago.”

“I don’t… Jesus… Brooke what I did to you? Was it the bathroom? Did that? Did I? I mean did I hurt you that badly?” I could hear the desperation in my voice.

She shook her head. “Oh God, no! That’s not why. Not even close. You saved me, Devon, that night… it was... I needed that,” she nervously laughed. “I know that sounds crazy, but I did. And after, I didn’t want another man’s hands on me. I didn’t want to get rid of your feel, your smell. You.”

“Brooke…”

“No. Please. Let me finish, I’ll lose the courage to say what I need to say. I want to thank you; I want to thank you because you healed me. You helped me move forward with my family, my parents, and my life in general. I was stuck in this standstill, where I couldn’t move forward, I couldn’t change the past; I was stuck and barely afloat. I drowned myself in VIP, in men, in alcohol and drugs. I had this ‘go fuck yourself’ attitude, where I wasn’t hurting anyone, but myself. You came into my life for a reason. I know that now and I knew that then, I was too blind with fury and hatred to realize it.”

I couldn’t believe what she was sharing with me.

“I love you, Devon. I’ve always loved you, and I know I will always love you. I’m sorry for everything I put you through. For everything I did and said. I hope that one day you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I hope that we can be friends. I wish that we could be a lot more, but… I understand if you don’t want that anymore. I don’t blame you. I’ll take anything you have to offer. A friendship…”

We stood there staring at one another for, I didn’t know how long. Time just sort of stood still, which always happened when we were around each other. The world kept moving around us.

“Please… say something,” she whispered loud enough for me to hear.

I said the only thing I knew to be true.

“I don’t want to be your friend, Brooke.”

I bit my cheek and nodded. I wanted to throw myself onto the floor like a four year old, and have the biggest temper tantrum. I knew that wouldn’t fix anything.

“Okay…” I murmured, holding back the tears. “I understand. I’m sorry. Take care of yourself, okay?”

I didn’t give him time to answer. I turned immediately, wanting to run, wanting to hide.

I wouldn’t do either.

Not anymore.

“Bambi,” he hollered, stopping me dead in my tracks.

“I don’t want to be friends. I can’t go back to that. I hated being friends to begin with. I should have made that clear from the start, from the moment I had you in my arms. I should have told you what I wanted, what I expected, what I needed,” he said emphasizing every word.

I still hadn’t turned around, I couldn’t; I was glued to the ground.

“I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, but you will never be one of them.”

I could feel his heat radiating on my back.

“Not ever,” he whispered in my ear from behind me. I swallowed the saliva that had pooled in my mouth, trying patiently to hear his next words.  “There once was a man named Devon, and he loved this girl named Brooke. He loved her since the second he laid his eyes on her. His heart belonged to her. She saved him and he saved her. They were even now. It didn’t matter what had happened between them, because it was in the past. The past that they were leaving behind them.” He brushed the tips of his fingers up and down my arm, and lightly kissed the back of my neck, causing shivers all over my body.

“Devon told his therapist all about her, every last detail. The way she looked, the way she smiled, the way she owned his soul. His nightmares were calmer and less frequent, but he knew that the moment she laid in his arms… he would never have another nightmare. She was the calm to his storm.” His arms wrapped around my waist, and I swear I stopped breathing.

“And he knew that he was the calm to hers.” He spun me around to face him.

I felt so much smaller in his arms, he held my whole life, my future, our future… in the palm of his hand. His hands caressed the sides of my face, caging me in with his arms.

I wanted to stay there forever.

He smiled, and looked deep into my eyes. “I love you.”

I bit my cheek, and tears flew down my face. “I love you so fucking much. You’re it for me. No more of this ‘friends’ bullshit. You’re mine, just mine. And I’m yours. Do you understand me?”

I licked my lips and eagerly nodded, he wiped my face, taking away all my tears.

“Good.” And then he kissed me like we weren’t in front of his entire family. I kissed with the same passion, matching every stroke of his tongue, and every movement of his lips upon mine.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” we repeated into each other’s mouths in between kissing, desperately. Not being able to get enough of each other. He kissed me one last time, and lightly kissed the tip of my nose, exactly how he had always done.

I laughed.

“I love you,” he stated one last time.

“I love you, too,” I said, meaning every word, and knowing he did too.

He looked at me with so much life and happiness; it radiated off of him and spread all around us, wrapping us tightly entwined with one another. My heart right next to his; where it belonged. We stood there for a long time, taking each other in, remembering what it was that we did to each other. The chemistry, the passion, the connection; all of it was still very much alive between us, around us. Even though there was tons of people everywhere, it was only he and I.

Nothing else mattered when we were together.

Soul mates.

The past was where it needed to be.

My present was with him.

Our future was together.

Never breaking the intensity of his stare, he leaned forward and kissed his way to my ear. Once he was there he softly said, “The prince took the princess back to his son’s birthday party. Where she met his entire family for the second time. His son stuck to her like glue for the rest of the day. They took him home later that evening, and they both tucked him into bed. Together. The prince took the princess into his bedroom, where he proceeded to bury his face in between her legs, and make her squirt all down his face. Exactly the way he loved,” he huskily groaned.

I could feel my cheeks burning, and my panties getting wet.

“The prince then fucked her senseless, taking everything that she had to give, and making her come over and over again; reminding her who she always belonged to, since the first night they laid eyes on each other.”

I bit my cheek, trying not to tremble, or give any more attention to us than we already had.

“After she screamed out his name, multiple times,” he stated, emphasizing the last two words. “They… lived… happily… ever… after…” He grinned, proud of himself that he was making me squirm and blush. He kissed my cheek, and stepped away from me.

Just like the first time in New Orleans, he reached for my hand.

And I let him.

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