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She nodded. “I see. So you’re just returning the favor?”
“You could say that.”
“Huh… now what if I told you that I’m not okay with that? That would mean I couldn’t have them at parties, or send you to certain places, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. It would mean loss of money for me and more time and effort to make sure you don’t cross paths. It seems like a lot of work for someone who hasn’t proved herself to me. So what makes you think that I’m willing to go the extra mile for you?” she asserted in a tone I couldn’t tell was serious or not.
This woman was a Rubik Cube, and just when I thought the colors matched, they moved again.
“What do you want me to do?”
She raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”
“I’ll do anything.”
She smiled, wide and high. “That was precisely what I wanted you to say. I’ll keep your secret, for now…”
“Madam—”
“You’re excused,” she stated, turning away.
“But I’m not—”
“Second rule to learn is never question me. I don’t love you… yet… and you have to earn that right. Now. You’re excused.”
I bit my cheek, wanting to object, but I knew better and walked away. I drove to Christine’s apartment. She lived near campus with her boyfriend, Derrick. I needed to clear my head and to stop thinking about the afternoon I had experienced. I felt like a failure. I barely knew Madam and she had me feeling disappointed in myself. I wanted to make her proud, and the fact that she told me she didn’t love me was a phrase I wasn’t ready to hear.
I knocked on the door and my day went from bad to worse.
“Hey,” Landon greeted.
“Hi,” I replied, taken back that he was there.
We stared at each other for a few minutes, not saying anything. He finally stepped aside and let me in.
“Christine isn’t here,” he announced.
“Oh…” I answered, immediately looking at the ground. I couldn’t look at his face; it was too painful.
“You just missed her. She had class.”
“Right, I knew that.”
“You look beautiful. I mean, you’ve always been gorgeous but now you’re just stunning.”
I peeked up at him, taking his gaze of lust and torment all at the same time.
“Landon…” I whispered.
“What? Don’t say the truth? Am I not allowed to do that anymore? What’s with the makeover? I’ve seen you in heels maybe a few times. Just wanted to look more grown up?”
I shrugged.
“Is that all I get now? I can’t even get you to talk?”
I sighed. I didn’t know what to say.
“Okay… I get it. I’ll see you around.”
I nodded.
He took one last look at me and left.
I spent the entire day mourning over a loss that I never had.
At least not to me.
A year went by and I was twenty-nine, although I felt like I was much older. I’ve always felt like I was way beyond what my age reflected, even when I was a kid. My sister had her daughter, Deahna, who I was absolutely in love with, and Liv actually made the dean’s list at school. Her husband, John, was also advancing nicely. I was very proud of them both. We all helped out with the baby as much as we could.
One afternoon will forever stay in my mind. It started off like any other day, but the moment she walked into my bar with her bright green eyes, I knew I was in trouble. Her name was Ysabelle Telle and I didn’t know how much she would change my life, in more ways than I could have ever imagined. She ordered a Cuba Libre and I didn’t ask for her ID, she appeared to be twenty-one with the way she carried herself, which was much different than most women in Miami. A sort of confidence she didn’t even know she portrayed. It was alluring and the tiny woman sitting before me immediately captivated me.
She had tan skin and this petite body that was perfect for her bone structure, with her long brown hair that was down to her waist. But it was her bright green eyes that I couldn’t look away from; they had the power to bring a man to his knees. They would tell you the world if you let them.
When I handed her the drink, she immediately looked at my ring finger, just as all women did.
“Do you know of any places hiring?” she asked, moving her pouty lips that were made for things I shouldn’t be thinking of.
I looked at her and smiled. “What are you looking to do?”
What a loaded question…
I could tell she was reflecting on how to answer me. “I’m not quite sure. I’m a fast learner, though. I just need to make some money and by that, I mean today. I just picked up and moved here from Tampa so I need to make some money fast; not really crazy about living on the streets.” She halfheartedly smiled.
I thought about her response and I knew from the second she stepped foot into my bar that she couldn’t be from Miami; the city hadn’t corrupted her yet. “What’s your name, and how old are you?” I questioned.
She stuck out her hand. “Ysabelle Telle, twenty-one, you?”
I shook it. “Devon Hill, twenty-nine.”
“Well, nice to meet you, Devon Hill.” She gave me a flirty smile. “Now, about any hiring’s, do you think you could help me?” She bit her bottom lip and it stirred unexpected emotions in me, but not in a sexual way… in a protective one.
“Let me see what I can do.”
I walked to the back of the bar to grab the necessary paperwork and came back to her. “Fill this out and you can start today? Do you have any bartending or waitress experience?”
“No… like I said, I’m a really fast learner.”
“All right then, I can have you start bartending today. Just shadow me and we will see how fast you pick it up. If I like what I see, I’ll put you on the schedule. I’ll just pay you under the table until we see if you’re going to work, and then we’ll talk about putting you on the payroll. Deal?” I asked with an extended hand and she took it.
“Are you the owner?” she questioned.
“I am.”
She put the pen to the corner of her lip and bit on it. She was flirting with me and it wasn’t in the normal way I was used to with most women. It was as if she was using her body to get what she wanted and that wasn’t sex. She wanted something else… I had already given her the job, but her eyes told me something different. It didn’t matter that she appeared confident; on the inside, she was broken.
Just like me.
“Huh, you’re awfully young to be owning something,” she commented, taking me away from my thoughts.
“And you are awfully gorgeous,” I responded with a smirk. “You’ll definitely bring in a crowd for me. I inherited this club from an uncle, who passed away a few years ago.”
She brought the pen back down on the application. “Oh… I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to—”
“Don’t sweat it, Kid. It happened a long time ago. He was a mean old bastard anyway, but he did know how to run a great place. It was successful before I ever got my hands on it. I was fortunate enough to have a business degree from college, so I knew a thing or two about running a business. What brings you to Miami?”
She started working on the application.
Interesting… she didn’t want to look into my eyes.
“I was over living in my hometown. I wanted to expand my horizons.” She looked back at me. “You know?”
I nodded, knowing exactly the feeling she was expressing. “Yeah, I can understand that. I was born and raised in Miami. I moved to Gainesville to go to UF for college, and somehow I wound up back here anyway.”
She grinned at me. “You sound like you got your shit together, Devon. Care to share your secret?”
I laughed. “I think I’m gonna like ya, Kid. You say what’s on your mind, great quality to have. The guys will be taken with you… which will make my bar happy, as well as your wallet.”
“I think you’re giving me more credit as f
ar as my appearance goes, thank you anyhow.”
I left her alone for a few minutes to finish her application. I introduced her to the staff and gave her a tour of the bar. I walked her back to the restroom and let her know that she needed to change. She looked at me funny and that’s when I noticed she was carrying a backpack.
I didn’t know how I had just noticed it. She carried all her possessions in that backpack, I was sure of it. I grabbed Jen and told her to help her out. I left them alone and returned ten minutes later, she walked out of the bathroom completely done up and she almost took my breath away.
I gave her a huge smile. “You clean up nice! You looked great before, now you just look amazing. Are you ready?”
“I am.”
She worked the entire night and picked up on the drink orders and recipes a lot faster than I would have predicted. Men and even women radiated toward her like moths to a flame. It was amazing to watch; I had never seen anything like it. She pulled in clients without even trying.
The bar closed down and I could tell she was exhausted. It would take her some getting used to the night owl hours. By the time we were done, it was 6:30 AM. I caught her counting all of the tips from the corner of my eye, and when she was done, she appeared like a huge weight was lifted off her shoulders.
“It’s usually a slow night on Tuesdays. Did you do okay?” I asked and she looked up at me with disbelief in her eyes.
“Yeah… I did more than okay. I can probably get a decent hotel for a couple of nights now.”
That caught me off guard. I assumed maybe she was staying with a friend or something, but I never imaged she was homeless. She was too beautiful to be by herself, too innocent and naïve. Miami chewed girls up like her and then spit them right back out, without even trying.
“You don’t have anywhere to go?” I questioned with worry in my tone.
She smiled for me, not at me. She was trying to relieve my concern for her and it instantly hurt my heart. It was like staring into a mirror; she had seen some shit in her life, too. Exactly how I had. I was sure of it like I was sure my name was Devon.
“No… I don’t, I’ll be fine,” she answered with pride and a hardened tone.
It made me sad for her and I reached over and grabbed her shoulder, catching her off guard. I didn’t even think twice about what I was going to say. It came out naturally. “You did really great tonight, Kid. I’m going to put you on the schedule.”
She immediately started jumping up and down and it warmed my worried heart.
“Really! That’s great. I’m so happy.”
I laughed at her. “Great, because I have another proposition for you. My roommate just moved out a couple weeks ago; he got married and left all his furniture behind. His wife said something about wanting to buy new stuff because it was too masculine. If you don’t mind that, the room is yours for however long you need it.”
The apprehension on her face was evident, which made me squeeze her shoulder in reassurance and comfort. “It shouldn’t take you too long to get on your feet. Hotels in Miami are sleazy unless you can afford something on South Beach, and I’m assuming you can’t. I wouldn’t feel right letting you sleep somewhere I know you wouldn’t be safe. A pretty girl like you could get in a lot of trouble in this town. My apartment is right on South Beach, next to Collins Street. You could walk to work, and everything you need would be in walking distance so transportation wouldn’t be an issue. You could focus on finding a place and then maybe buying a car.”
“Why are you being so nice to me?” she blurted out.
The response nearly knocked me on my ass and I gave her a genuine smile to try to reduce or even dismiss her worry or dismay.
“Because, you look like you need it, Kid,” I honestly answered.
“What do you want for it?”
Jesus Christ… it keeps getting worse.
“A thank you would suffice. If you want to cook me some dinners when we’re not working a few nights a week, we could call it even.”
She contemplated my offer and at first, she seemed confused and maybe even a little scared, but it quickly changed when I smiled at her again. I couldn’t believe the pull this girl had on me, but once again, it wasn’t in a sexual way. I wanted to protect her and make sure she was okay. It was like I had one of my sisters standing in front of me and I couldn’t not help her.
“Okay, Devon. I’m not a great cook but…you have a deal.” She extended her right hand and I extended mine. After we had shaken on it, I laughed again and put my arm around her shoulder.
“I know this great café that serves unbelievable breakfast, let’s go get some food in you, and then we will get you settled. We are due back here by two o’clock.”
We quickly fell into a comfortable and normal routine. She was an amazing roommate, but a terrible cook. We had to call the superintendent several times because she almost burned down our kitchen. We always laughed it off, though. She was one of the easiest women to be around, although I didn’t know a damn thing about her. I thought with the more time that went by, she would open up a bit, but never did. I finally gave up trying.
I never made her pay for anything; I was making more than enough money to support my family and us. I wanted her to save as much as she could because I knew she wouldn’t be living with me forever, as much as I wanted her to. However, Ysabelle wanted more out of life. I knew it the second I looked into her bright green eyes. I could never put my finger on it, but she was never truly happy… it didn’t matter what she accomplished or gained; something was always missing.
One afternoon, she ordered a pizza and was adamant that she was paying. She went to take a shower and the pizza arrived, I went into her wallet to grab the cash and her license was visible. I took a quick look at it and her date of birth immediately stunned me. She was sixteen years old. She was a baby and she was definitely running from something.
I just didn’t know what it was and I wouldn’t learn until almost a decade later.
I knew in that moment that she was meant to come into my life and I hers.
And I would do anything in my power to protect her…
Now.
And forever.
Jaxon Deen.
This man changed my life in more ways than I ever imagined could be possible. I had been with VIP for almost a year. I thought I knew everything, I thought I had seen everything; I thought I had experienced it all. But I couldn’t have been more wrong. It was nothing compared to what I would go through, all at the hands of a man and my own doing.
I wish I could tell you that it was his fault; that he was solely responsible for my actions, but I would be lying.
I was.
Nobody else, but me.
I honestly didn’t know where it came from, the emotions, the feelings, the devotion, the adoration, and the love. I lived and breathed for him. I was caught in his spider web of lies and deceit and the sad part was, I believed every word he spoke. Every promise he made. All the times he touched me and told me I was the one.
It felt real.
Sincere.
Consuming.
I thought about him when I was alone and even when I was laying in his arms. It didn’t matter that I saw other clients, both men and women, orgies, threesomes, you name it, I did it.
I gave them my body.
Jaxon had my heart.
It sideswiped me out of nowhere¸ like a car colliding into me from oncoming traffic. I didn’t see it coming until it was too late and I was too far-gone. He was the ventilator that kept me alive and breathing and the sole purpose of my everyday existence.
At first, I thought it was a game, I was the cat and he was the mouse; except, I never stood a chance, not for one second. I had just turned twenty when I met him and in my eyes, I was an adult, I was a woman.
In reality, I was a child, living in a fantasy world of what ifs and maybe somedays.
And it all started and ended with, “I love you.”
Those
three fucking words ruined me for any other man.
I could come up with a million excuses, it was because of my father, or Landon, or just plain stupidity. I never thought I would fall head over heels in love with someone that never belonged to me. He was never mine; I just pretended like he was.
Madam was right about one thing.
Never say never…
Jaxon was married.
He had a family.
Yes… I know…I’m a hypocrite. Trust me, I’m well aware.
I met him at one of Madam’s parties and saw him from across the room, sounds like a fairy tale, right? Of course, I would get my happy ending. That’s how life is supposed to be, but it’s not. Not even close.
I recognized him immediately from the papers; he was in politics and the epitome of the perfect father and husband. He was also one of my dad’s friends, and much older than I was. Some would say I could pass for his daughter, but fuck he was sexy. Tall, dark, and handsome; his chocolate colored eyes and the smell of his cognac breath, and the light grey stubble on his five o’clock shadow. The way he looked at me, and the way he didn’t… the hold he had on me when he wasn’t around and then the lock that was there when he was.
I know what you’re thinking and maybe you’re right… maybe I did do it out of revenge… or spite… but it didn’t feel like it. At least not to me.
I often thought about my father and his mistress when I was with Jaxon. And for the first time since I found about his torrid affair with another woman, a woman who had his children… I related to her. I connected to a woman that I saw one time, briefly. I was her… doting after a man to be with me, to have him in any way, shape, or form that I could. I hated myself for it. The deeper I got involved with him, the more I lost myself.
I didn’t recognize the woman staring back at me in the mirror, and maybe I never did.
“Pretty girl, you’re so lovely, so warm and soft,” he praised as the tips of his fingers ran up and down from my throat to my pelvic bone. “Your smell is addicting and I can’t get enough of you, not in small doses or in big ones. It’s never enough when I am with you. Tell me you know that?”
“I do,” I purred, loving his hands on me.
