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“Yes.”
“And?” Taylor prodded when she didn’t continue.
“He doesn’t wish to become involved.”
“It’s a bit late for that decision, isn’t it?”
“He wanted to marry Lady Margaret Kingsworth. She has a large dowry.”
Taylor’s curiosity was captured. She knew Lady Margaret and wondered who the scoundrel was.
“Who is the man . . .”
“I will never say his name.” She fairly shouted her denial.
Taylor hurried to soothe her. “I won’t ever ask you again,” she promised. “You’re certain you don’t still love him?”
“I can’t imagine what I ever saw in him now. I should have heeded William’s advice, for he wrote, ‘Love moderately; long love doth so; too swift arrives as tardy as too slow.’ ”
Lord, she was quoting Shakespeare again. And crying. Taylor tried to hold onto her patience. It was a most difficult task. “The past is the past, Victoria. You cannot undo what has already been done. You must look to the future now.”
“I believed with all my heart he would marry me.”
“Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage,” Taylor said, turning Shakespeare’s words back on the distraught woman.
Victoria found her first smile. “I do believe I would like to see him hang for his lies to me. Still, I was a willing . . . participant.”
“You were naive and he took full advantage. The man’s a snake.”
“I was equally responsible for my mistake.”
Taylor couldn’t help but admire the woman because she took responsibility for her actions. She didn’t blame anyone else, not even the pig who seduced her. She was about to tell her she admired her when Victoria asked her who she was.
“What is your name?”
“Taylor.”
“Taylor? The Lady Taylor?”
“You’ve heard of me?”
“Oh, yes, everyone has heard of you, milady.”
“Why?” Taylor asked.
“The humiliation . . . oh, dear, I shouldn’t have mentioned such an indelicate topic.”
Taylor’s shoulders slumped. Did everyone in England know about her disgrace? “It wasn’t a humiliation. It was a blessing as far as I’m concerned.” Lord, how many times had she said those words while in London? At least a hundred times, she thought.
“Do you still love him?” Victoria asked.
“I never did love him,” Taylor admitted. “I realize that now. I married his brother,” she added with a nod when Victoria looked so surprised. “I don’t love him either,” she confessed. “But I will admit I am becoming attracted to him. Still, he is a man and, therefore, probably a scoundrel. Most of them are. My husband is honorable though. I’ve already noticed that attribute.”
“Perhaps you will eventually fall in love with him,” Victoria suggested.
What an awful thought, given that Lucas would be leaving her the minute they reached Boston. “Perhaps,” she said aloud so that Victoria would believe she’d offered a viable hope.
Taylor went over and sat down next to her new friend. She gently turned the topic around to Victoria’s delicate condition.
“You made an important decision tonight.”
“I did? What was that?”
“To live,” Taylor answered. “The rest is going to be easy. I promise you.”
Victoria didn’t understand. Taylor said she would explain what she meant later. She asked Victoria what she thought she most wanted to accomplish with her life. What were her hopes and her dreams? If she could have anything in the world, what would she want?
Victoria answered her questions. She talked for almost two hours. Taylor did most of the listening. Discussing her fears helped lessen them in Victoria’s mind. The unknown terrified her, she admitted. And being alone. That terrified her most of all. Taylor understood far better than Victoria thought she would. Being alone . . . and responsible for two children was terrifying for her, but she would do whatever she had to do to keep the twins safe. And, she had a feeling Victoria would be just as protective of her own little one.
“You have to get used to the idea first,” Taylor said.
“What idea?” Victoria asked.
“Being a mother,” Taylor explained. “I wager before long you’ll love your baby with all your heart.”
“I haven’t really thought about the baby. I’ve been too busy feeling sorry for myself.”
Taylor patted her hand. “You’d been betrayed. It was only natural for you to feel sorry for yourself.”
Victoria let out a loud yawn, apologized for her unladylike action, and then said, “The wind has certainly picked up. Captain said a storm’s brewing.”
A sudden gust of wind swept across the deck. Victoria started shivering. Taylor didn’t notice the chill in the air until Victoria mentioned it. Then she also started shivering.
“We’d better go back to our cabins,” she suggested.
“Yes,” Victoria agreed. She stood up, then turned to Taylor. “Thank you for listening to me. You’ve been very kind, milady.”
Taylor was at a loss as to what to say in response. She wasn’t at all comfortable receiving compliments. They’d been so far and few in her life. She had seldom received outright praise for any of her actions. Madam expected certain behavior, and Taylor only heard when she had disappointed her grandmother.
Victoria seemed to be waiting for her to do or say something, however, and so Taylor simply gave her a nod of acceptance. Then she cleared her throat. In a no-nonsense tone of voice very much like her grandmother’s, she said, “Tomorrow I would like for you to meet me in the ship’s library at two o’clock. In the last few days I’ve noticed that room is usually deserted at that time of day and we should have plenty of privacy while we formulate our plans.”
“We will?”
“I believe so.”
“What plans, milady?”
Taylor was surprised by the question. “Why, plans for your future of course,” she explained. “Did you think I would pat you on your back in sympathy and then walk away?”
“I didn’t know what to think, milady.”
“Do quit calling me your lady. In America, titles have no significance whatsoever.”
“Are you certain?”
“Oh, yes. I read it in a book, so it must be true.”
Victoria nodded. “Are you really going to help me?”
“How could I not?”
Lord, she started crying again. Taylor didn’t want to go through another round of weeping and consoling. “Please stop that,” she pleaded. “You’re going to wear yourself out. I cannot believe you thought I would abandon you. Shame on you, Victoria.”
“I don’t want to be a burden or suggest that you . . .”
Taylor took hold of Victoria’s arm and led her over to the staircase. “Of course you don’t want to be a burden. You won’t be, I promise. I have a terrible habit,” she confessed then. “I seem to believe I know what’s best for everyone around me.”
“I don’t believe knowing what’s best for someone else is a terrible habit,” Victoria replied.
“Not just someone else,” Taylor corrected. “Everyone else. And yes, it is a terrible flaw. Madam calls it my affliction. She says I shouldn’t interfere and it’s quite arrogant of me to think I can make a difference in anyone else’s life. Very arrogant indeed. Those were her very words to me time and again. I fear she’s right. I give you my word I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do, Victoria. But I do insist on helping you.”
“Thank you, Taylor.”
“We’ll talk again tomorrow after you’ve had a good night’s sleep and aren’t so tired.”
“I would be most appreciative of your counsel.” Victoria paused a moment before continuing. “Are you able to know what’s best for you all the time?”
Taylor’s shoulders slumped. “That’s the rub in this affliction I’m cursed with,” she explained. “I ne
ver seem to know what’s best for me. Just everyone else.”
The bewilderment in Taylor’s voice made Victoria smile. “Perhaps I’ll know what’s best for you.”
Taylor smiled back. “Perhaps you will.”
Because the staircase was only wide enough to accommodate one person at a time, Taylor motioned for Victoria to take the lead. “I’ll walk with you to your cabin door so I’ll know where to find you.”
Victoria paused on the bottom step. Her expression was solemn when she turned to look up at Taylor. “Are we going to be friends?”
Taylor didn’t hesitate in giving her answer. “I believe we already are.”
The commitment was made. Taylor knew full well what she was taking on. She didn’t blanch over the responsibility she’d just taken upon herself. She would take care of Victoria until she was strong enough and able enough to take care of herself. And the baby, Taylor silently added. She mustn’t forget about the baby.
Friends helped friends, yes, but there was more to Taylor’s promise than that. Much, much more. Children, all children, should be cherished and protected from harm by every able adult. It wasn’t a rule; it was a sacred commandment in Taylor’s estimation, and she would do whatever it took to ensure Victoria’s and her baby’s safety . . .
No matter what the cost. It wasn’t a choice. It was her duty.
Her noble intentions were going to die with her. She wasn’t going to be able to help anyone, least of all herself. The ship was going down, and there wasn’t a thing she could do about it. She was convinced it was only a matter of minutes before everyone was sleeping on the bottom of the ocean. Taylor would have knelt on the floor and said her prayers for forgiveness to her Maker for all the mean things she had ever thought about anyone, except her uncle Malcolm, of course. She believed that if she really was contrite about being so arrogant and bossy, she might be able to sneak into heaven, but kneeling anywhere was simply impossible with the hurricane-force winds knocking the little ship around and around. She wedged herself into the corner of the bed and pressed her shoulders against the wall. She really tried not to be afraid, but Lord it was an impossible task. Perhaps it wouldn’t have been so horrible if it weren’t the middle of the night and so pitch black inside the cabin. Taylor hated the darkness, but she didn’t dare try to relight the lamp for fear she might accidentally set the walls on fire. And so she sat in the dark with her eyes squeezed shut and her arms clutched around a pillow, listening as her trunks slammed against one wall and then another. She fought her terror and her panic with prayers and pleas to her Maker while she waited for the end.
What was going to happen to her sister’s babies? The twins needed a mother. She couldn’t even imagine what would become of the little ones. And Victoria . . . What would happen if she survived and Taylor didn’t? She’d promised to help her new friend, and how would Victoria survive without any money or family in America?
Oh, God, there was so much she wanted to do. It wasn’t fair to die like this. She let out a loud sob and gave in to her tears. No one, not even a bossy, arrogant, think-she-knows-everything young lady should have to die like this. She didn’t want to die all alone. She wanted company.
And most of all, she wanted Madam.
The door opened with a bang. Taylor jumped a foot. Mr. Ross stood in the entrance. He all but filled up the entire doorway. She could see him clearly, for the light from the lamp perched in the leather holder high up on the hallway wall shown brightly all around him.
She’d never been so happy to see anyone in all her life. He looked like a god to her. Or a prince. He was drenched from head to foot. His dark hair hung down over his forehead and his white shirt and black pants were molded to his body. The bulge of muscle in his upper arms and his thighs made him look invincible to her. He was like a mighty warrior from the past, this princely giant she was married to, and Taylor found herself calmed by his mere presence. He was such a commanding figure, and the casual ease in his every movement, so graceful for such a huge man, actually captivated and soothed her.
Lucas Ross couldn’t have been more appealing to her if he’d been dressed in elegant, regal robes.
“Hell of a wind kicking up.” He made the remark in a casual tone of voice and took another step inside. “I’m soaked through.” He turned then, tossed his wet bedroll into the corner of the stateroom next to his satchels, then shook his head very like a dog would do to rid himself of the rain. Drops of water flew outward in an arch.
He smiled at Taylor. One look at her face told him she was terrified. He noticed the tears coursing down her face. Her eyes were as wide as saucers. Her gaze was centered on him, but he didn’t think the terror he saw in her expression was because he’d entered the cabin in the middle of the night. He used the cabin to house his clothes and came and went several times during the day. No, he wasn’t responsible for her tears. The storm was causing her panic.
He couldn’t fault her reaction. In truth, he felt the way she looked. He’d been in storms before but nothing as violent as this one. They were in real jeopardy of going down.
He wasn’t about to share his opinion about their dire circumstances with Taylor, however. The last thing he wanted or needed was a hysterical woman on his hands, and for that reason, he forced himself to move slowly, to act as though he had all the time in the world. He was as nonchalant as possible. He even whistled.
She shifted in the bed when the ship tilted again.
“Do you prefer sitting in the dark?”
It took her a full minute to find her voice. “No,” she whispered. She moved back so she was once again visible to him in the beam of light from the hallway. “But I was concerned I would set the cabin on fire if I tried to relight the lamp.”
Lucas turned to go back outside. “Where are you going, Mr. Ross?”
Panic made her tone sharp and her words tremble. She couldn’t seem to calm down. She didn’t want him to know how afraid she was. He might think she was a coward. It really was laughable, she supposed, worrying about his opinion of her now, just minutes before they were both surely going to die, but foolish as it was, she still tried to hide her fear. He didn’t know her very well, and she didn’t want him to go to his watery grave believing he’d married a weakling.
“I’m just getting the lantern from the hallway,” he called out.
He was already back inside the cabin by the time he finished his explanation. She watched him shut the door, then walk over to the opposite side of the room and tie the lantern to the metal hook protruding from the wall. One of her trunks went sailing past him while he was securing the base of the lamp to the stand. The ship took a perilous dive then. Taylor pressed her back against the wall, dug her heels into the sheets, and tried to maintain her balance. She was still tossed to the side. Lucas hadn’t budged. His balance was impressive. So was his attitude, she decided. He didn’t seem to be at all concerned about their perilous situation.
She felt it necessary to point out the obvious. “We’re in the middle of a hurricane, sir. I believe it’s only a matter of time before the ship goes down.”
Lucas shrugged, pretending indifference. He took his time removing his shirt. He sidestepped the trunk, shoved it into the corner, then sat down on top of it so he could remove his shoes.
“Aren’t you worried, Mr. Ross?”
“It’s just a little high wind, Taylor. It’s too early in the season for a hurricane. It should blow over in a couple of hours.”
He gave the lie without batting an eye. She was watching him closely, looking for the least little sign of concern.
She didn’t find any. “You aren’t at all concerned, Mr. Ross?” She didn’t give him time to answer. “Have you been in other storms like this one?”
“Lots of them,” he lied.
“Well then.” Her sigh was long and filled with relief. She even managed a smile.
She was feeling much better now, almost safe. Then he inadvertently went and ruined her near recovery. He
took his pants off.
She squeezed her eyes shut. “Mr. Ross, whatever are you thinking?”
She fairly shouted the question. He lost his patience with her. “Will you quit calling me Mr. Ross?”
He’d snapped his demand back at her. She was astonished by his show of temper. “If you wish,” she replied. She kept her eyes closed. She heard him mutter something under his breath but couldn’t make out the words. It was probably a blasphemy, she supposed with a frown she sincerely hoped he would notice.
Lucas stripped out of the rest of his clothes and walked over to his suitcase to get fresh, dry pants. He normally slept in the nude, but because he’d been sleeping up on deck, he had, of course, kept his clothes on. He was going to have to wear pants tonight as well, he knew, and all because this young lady he was saddled with was acting so damned squeamish and prim.
God save him from virgins, he thought. She was probably going to have heart failure when she realized he had every intention of sharing the bed with her.
He didn’t have any intention of touching her, however. Being intimate with his bride would only complicate their financial arrangement. The last thing he wanted or needed was a wife, and he knew that if he touched her, he would feel honor bound to stay married. He’d just as soon be hanged. Or put back in prison.
His mind was filled with thoughts about the horrors associated with marriage, and for that reason he didn’t notice the ship had tilted again. The trunk slammed into his right foot. He muttered an expletive, shook himself out of his dour thoughts, and put his pants on.
Taylor watched him. She was mesmerized by his physique, and since she was certain he wasn’t aware she was looking at him, she barely blushed at all over what she was seeing.
Lucas Ross was as sleek as a panther. The splay of muscle in the backs of his thighs and shoulders seemed to roll with each movement he made. His skin was bronzed in color, no doubt by the sun. His waist was narrow, his shoulders were incredibly wide, and heavens, he really was a fine specimen of male perfection. If she’d been the faint-hearted sort, she was certain she would have swooned by now. In her opinion, he was magnificent.
