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“But I’ll be with you every step of the way.” He dropped down to his knees in front of me and pressed a gentle kiss to my belly. “With the way you’re talking, I’m assuming it’s official? The blood test was positive, too?”
“Yeah.” I smiled softly at him. It was hard to stay irritated with him when he was being so damn sweet. Or at least it was when I was pumped full of pregnancy hormones. The next eight and a half months were bound to be interesting.
“Fuck yeah!” he whooped, jumping to his feet and lifting me off the couch and into the air.
“Shit,” I hissed, feeling lightheaded as he twirled me around.
“What?” he set me on my feet gently, his dark eyes filled with concern. “What is it?”
I plopped back onto the couch and tucked my head between my knees to make the room stop spinning. “No more picking me up like that.”
“Fuck, baby,” he sighed, rubbing my back in soft circles. “I’m sorry. I was so excited; I didn’t even think. I promise I’ll be more careful with you and our little dude from now on.”
“Little dude?” I groaned. “Please tell me you’re not going to be one of those guys who wants a son to carry on his father’s name but hasn’t even considered that he might have a daughter instead.”
“Of course I’ve thought about having a daughter with you,” he assured me. “A little girl with eyes so dark they almost look black at times. But then I also thought about what would happen when she grew up, and boys came around. Unless you want to see me carted off to jail for killing the first boy who breaks her heart, you’d better have a baby boy instead. Carrying on my name is only one of the advantages to having a boy, being around for our children’s whole lives is what it’s really all about.”
“Your name,” I whispered to myself. “Whole lives.”
It finally struck me, exactly why he’d called himself my fiancé back at the doctor’s office. I’d been too distracted by her announcement of the urine test results to put too much thought into it at that moment, but Xander seemed damn confident that I was going to marry him, give him more babies and spend the rest of my life with him. He talked about it like it was a foregone conclusion, but if he knew me better he might realize it wasn’t what he wanted—even if it was a little too late to be thinking like that since I was already pregnant. Having a former CIA operative who’d done the things I had in the line of duty as his baby momma was a fuck of a lot different than having her for his wife and the mother of all his children. If I were a better woman, I would have come clean to him about the things which wouldn’t get me arrested for sharing. But I hadn’t been able to bring myself to do it, yet.
“Of course he’ll have my name. So will you.”
I cautiously raised my head and looked down at my hand to make sure he hadn’t slipped an engagement ring onto my finger while I was napping. With as sneaky as he’d been about redecorating this place, I wouldn’t have been too surprised. But there wasn’t anything different to see, which meant he’d skipped a step. I lifted my hand up and wagged my fingers at him. “I think you forgot something—like a ring and a question I haven’t answered yet.”
“If you’re feeling good enough to be sassy with me, then I guess you’re up to a quick trip to the office.”
“What kind of an answer is that?” I grumbled to myself as he gripped my hand and pulled me off the couch.
“The only kind you’re getting for now.” He led me through the kitchen and out to the garage.
“If I weren’t pregnant, I’d kick your bossy ass.”
“I do love when you call me boss, in whatever form you use.” He helped me get settled into the passenger seat of his car. “But if you weren’t pregnant, I’d let you try.”
“I wouldn’t be trying; I’d be doing.”
“You hold onto that thought for the next ten or so months, and then you can challenge me as much as you want,” he chuckled. “At least until I knock you up again.”
“You’re a cocky son of a bitch. I’ll give you that.”
“You’ve got that backwards, baby. I’m giving you my cock.”
Startled laughter burst past my lips, and I shook my head at his antics. He was impossible, even more so now that he knew I was pregnant. I should have expected what he did when we walked into the Gray Security offices, but the pregnancy news had me off my usual stride.
“I need everybody out here!” he boomed as we walked through the glass doors. Poor Jessa almost fell out of her chair in surprise, while her grandmother merely laughed. Margaret had been back for about a week, but her efforts to train her granddaughter had been useless so far because Jessa was too intimidated by the guys to relax enough to learn what needed to be done.
About a half dozen people flowed out of offices and the gym to wander in our direction with questioning looks on their faces. Once they were all standing in front of us, Xander flung his arm over my shoulder and pulled me into his side.
“I know the gossip mill has been running full force since Calista started here. I haven’t put a stop to it”—he gave me a tight squeeze as he looked at me apologetically—“because I didn’t give a damn who knew about us. Calista wanted you all to judge her for her abilities and not her connection to me, but I think she’s more than proven herself around here. Even if she hadn’t, it would be tough shit because the news we received today means her role here is changing effective immediately.”
“Oh, shit,” I mumbled, knowing exactly where he was going with this. It wasn’t a sky writer, but it sure as hell was just about as effective as one when it came to spreading the word about us.
“Changing how?” Chad, a guy who’d made it clear he thought I wasn’t qualified to provide personal protection to Ewan, asked. I hadn’t bothered Xander about it because it was my battle to fight, but I had a feeling that was going to change with this announcement.
“Calista is pregnant. With my baby,” he added as if it wasn’t already obvious to everyone in the room. “And she’s going to take a backseat on cases from now on, lending her expertise in other ways.”
“What other ways?” Chad’s gaze darted between the two of us as he realized the shit he’d pulled with me might have put his job at risk, but that didn’t stop him from speaking up.
“She’s my second in command from here on out. If I’m not available, you go to her.”
“She’s done a decent job with the McKendry case, but that doesn’t mean she’s qualified to lead us.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Xander scoffed. “I told you guys she was former CIA when I hired her. She has the qualifications and then some.”
“As what? An analyst or something.”
My spine straightened at that. It wasn’t that I had anything against analysts, but I’d busted my ass in the CIA and saw more action than this guy ever had. I’d more than proven myself.
“She was not a fucking analyst,” Xander growled. “None of you have seen her official file. But, I’ve seen the un-redacted version of her record, and trust me, she’s more capable than any of you.”
“You’ve what?” I gasped,
as a mixture of shock and relief hit me. It didn’t make sense, considering the clearance level of most of my missions. It shouldn’t even be a possibility, but I found myself filled with hope anyway. If what he was saying was true, then it meant he wanted me even though he knew about my past with the CIA.
10
Xander
Maybe I should have told her about my clearance before blurting it out to our entire staff. I honestly hadn’t thought much about it; her file was catalogued in the “employee” part of my brain because it was only applicable to the job.
From the look on her face, it was clear that I’d mishandled the situation. I’d deal with that in a minute, though.
My eyes locked on Chad and I scowled at the condescending glare he was giving Calista. “Chad, I think you and I need to have a discussion. Be in my office at nine AM tomorrow.” His expression slipped long enough to show a moment of indecision, obviously reconsidering his choice to speak up. He quickly covered it back up, nodded and spun around, striding down the hall toward the gym.
“Unless anyone else feels the need to question my decisions…” I let the comment hang for a moment, waiting. No one spoke up, so I continued, “Over the next couple of weeks, we’ll be scheduling time for each of you to meet with Calista so she can get to know you, after which you will have time with her in the gym, and she will assess your physical abilities. I want her to be as familiar with each of you as I am.” Everyone else seemed to take the news like a professional with nods and murmurs of agreement. “All right, back to work.” The crowd dispersed quickly, and I used the arm I had around Calista’s shoulders to steer her to my office.
Once inside, I shut the door before walking us around to my desk chair, sitting and settling her on my lap.
“What did you mean when you said you’d read my entire file, even the redacted sections? Were you exaggerating to squash more dissension?” She sounded wary and pissed at the same time.
