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I swallowed hard and, having lost anything resembling my appetite, dropped the piece of chicken I'd selected back into the bucket.
"I think it's only half a chicken nowadays," my grandfather solemnly corrected. "They start with a whole one, but they'll stick two Initiates on it and make them tear it apart. No hands allowed. Just fangs."
"Bloody and awesome," Jeff said with approval, tearing into the breast he held between two hands.
That was nauseating, but having not yet experienced the Commendation, I didn't get the joke until Grandpa winked at me. I should have known. Two vampires fighting over a raw chicken wasn't very Ethan-esque - it wasn't nearly dignified enough. His style was a little more European, a little less sports entertainment. He was, I imagined with a grin, more likely to make the recruits recite the English monarchs or play a complicated Chopin piece.
"Quit mooning over Sullivan," Catcher muttered, bending around me to get to the chicken bucket. He continued before I could argue the assumption. "The Commendation's gonna go fine. It's mostly ceremonial, except for the oaths. In fact," he began, before hopping onto the desk beside my grandfather, "if anything, I bet Sullivan gets a big surprise."
I frowned at him. "How so?"
Catcher shrugged. "I'm just saying. You're strong. He's strong. Should make for an interesting ceremony."
I took an empty seat. "Describe interesting."
Catcher shook his head. "You're a smart girl. You should be doing your homework. What have you learned about the ceremony so far?"
I frowned, tried to recall what I'd seen in the Canon. "All the vamps who live in Cadogan will be there, like witnesses. Ethan will call me forward, say my name or something, and I'm supposed to take two oaths - fealty and homage. To serve the House and be loyal to it."
"Not just the House," Catcher said, reaching over to pull more chicken from the bucket. "To the Master himself." He nibbled the edge of his drumstick, then glanced up at me. "Are you ready for that?"
How could I possibly be ready for that? I'd be twenty-eight years old in a matter of days, and hadn't even recited the Pledge of Allegiance in ten years. How could I be prepared to swear my loyalty and service to a community I'd joined as the alternative to death or to a man who didn't find me capable of loyalty, worthy of trust?
On the other hand: "Is it an option - not to take the oaths?"
"Not unless you want to live separately from them," Catcher said, picking a chunk of chicken from the bone. "Pretend you weren't made by him. Pretend you aren't what he made you."
You are what I made you, Ethan had told me. Hard to pretend otherwise.
"If you came at this vampire thing on your own, found your own way to it, what would you do?"
"I wouldn't have come to it," I countered. "I'm not like them, not into the vampire mystique."
His expression softened. "So, because things aren't exactly the way you want them, you're going to bail? Believe me, Merit - exile is a lonely way to live."
"Sometimes," my grandfather put in, "even if you can't be what you want, making the most of what you can be isn't a bad second choice. You have a chance to remake yourself, baby girl."
"But in whose image?" I drily asked.
"That's your decision," Catcher said. "You were made a vampire by Sullivan, sure, but the oaths are still yours to take. And you haven't taken them yet."
My grandfather nodded at me. "You'll know what to do when the time comes."
I hoped he was right. "Anything new in the Porter investigation?"
"Not much," he admitted, swinging a leg. "In terms of evidence, we've gathered nothing else."
"But we did get some interesting gossip," Jeff said, pausing to swallow a bite. He inclined his head toward my grandfather. "Chuck's vampire says Celina Desaulniers met with Mayor Tate this week. Apparently, she was trying to reassure the mayor that the murders couldn't have been perpetrated by a House vamp."
"Morgan told me she thinks Cadogan's innocent, that Rogues are behind her murder." I explained my newly formed friendship with the Navarre vamp.
Grandpa seemed amused and nodded, then began to tell me what little they knew about Rogue vamps in the Windy City - mainly that they were a couple dozen strong - when his cell phone rang. He slid off the desk, unclipped and opened it, and frowned at the display before raising it to his ear.
"Chuck Merit . . . When?" He made a writing motion with his hand, and Jeff passed over a pen and pad of paper. My grandfather began scribbling quickly, occasionally throwing in an "Okay" or "Yes, sir."
Mayor, Catcher mouthed to me. I nodded.
The call continued for a few minutes, my grandfather closing the phone after assuring Mayor Tate he'd make some calls. He stared down at it, a chunk of silver plastic in his hand, and when he raised his head, worry was etched on his face.
"Another murder," was all he said.
Her name was Patricia Long. We sat quietly, without jokes or sarcasm, our eyes downcast, as he passed along the details. She was twenty-seven years old. A tallish brunette. An attorney at an international firm that officed on Michigan Avenue. She'd been found in Lincoln Park this time, an anonymous phone call directing the CPD to the scene. The cause of her death had been the same - exsanguination due to the wounds on her neck and throat.
But there was an additional bit of information with this one. The caller said he'd seen a vampire leaving the scene - a man wearing a blue-and-yellow baseball jersey, fangs bared, mouth covered in blood.
Catcher swore. "The jersey's probably a Grey House shirt. It's one of Scott's signatures." He slid me a glance, explaining, "Grey's a sports fan. Doesn't do the medals like Cadogan and Navarre - they've got jerseys instead."
Grandpa nodded. "Unfortunately, you're right. Sounds like Grey House. They haven't found anything else at the scene - no medals or detritus that would link this to anyone else - but they're still processing." He reclipped the phone to his belt, his knobby fingers working to join the plastic components. "This takes the heat off Cadogan, slides it right over to Grey. Anybody wanna put money on whether there'd have been something from Navarre at the scene of Merit's attack?"
The three of them looked at me, their expressions gloomy.
"You can ask Ethan," I said. "But he didn't mention anything to me." Not that he necessarily would. He still wasn't sure of my loyalties.
"Even if there'd been something," Catcher put in, "that doesn't mean it's related to the assaults. I'll eat my right hand if Scott Grey, or anyone from Grey House, had something to do with this one. They're a tight squad and completely harmless."
