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The footsteps were getting closer, the gait slow, but steady. They sounded like men’s shoes. Jasper? The boy nudged her. “Go,” he whispered, an edge of anxiety in his tone. She had so many questions, but there was no time for that. Not now. Kandace took a deep breath and climbed into the small space and the boy climbed in after her and pulled the hidden door shut. The footsteps rounded the corner and stopped. Kandace held her breath, the boy’s body pressed against her own in the mostly dark space, the only small amount of light coming in through the tiny gaps between the slats.
After a moment, the person began walking again, but she could hear that he had turned around and was heading back the way he’d come.
“Go,” the boy said, and now that her eyes had adjusted to the dark, she could see that there were rungs attached to the wall that she could climb. “Climb all the way to the top. You’ll exit into a back hallway near a utility room that rarely ever gets used. Turn right at the end of that hall and it’ll take you to a set of stairs. From there, you should be able to find your way.” He opened the latch and stepped out, beginning to close the small door.
Kandace looked up into the pitch-black above, placing her hands on the rungs. “Hey,” she whispered to the boy just as the door was about to shut completely. He pulled it open, revealing one eye in a small shaft of light. “You’re a dreamboat, you know that?”
She couldn’t see his full expression, but she thought he’d smiled, one that was both slightly shy and mildly astonished. The door clicked shut and Kandace began to climb.CHAPTER TWELVEAs they pulled out of the church parking lot, it began to rain. Fitting, Scarlett thought. She glanced at her daughter in the rearview mirror to see her staring out at the water-streaked glass, a look of pure misery on her face. She looked up, and their eyes met. Scarlett’s heart squeezed painfully. “What happened, Haddie?” she asked. “Why did you say that to the little boy?”
“It’s not what I meant, Mommy.” Her voice was little more than a whisper, laced with the same distress Scarlett saw in her expression.
“What did you mean then?” You’re nothing, nothing at all, Ruth had reported Haddie saying to the disabled child. Scarlett still couldn’t even imagine her pure-hearted daughter saying something like that.
Haddie paused, her brow knitting. “I don’t know,” she finally said.
Scarlett exhaled a frustrated breath. “How can you not know what you meant? It came out of your mouth.”
“I know but . . .” Her words faded away and again, she looked out the window. Scarlett gripped the steering wheel, tears threatening. She felt so damn upset . . . with Haddie, but mostly, mostly with herself. She felt incompetent . . . alone.
She saw the sign for the hardware store Deputy West had mentioned and pulled into the lot. The rain was dwindling now, white rays emerging from behind the heavy clouds that had recently shed their weight.
She turned off the car and turned to her daughter. “Haddie, did you think less of that boy because he has braces on his legs?”
Haddie shook her head, her expression so earnest. “No, Mommy.”
“Did he . . . scare you? Were you frightened of him because he’s different?”
Haddie paused but then shook her head. “No, Mommy.”
Scarlett watched her little girl, so much going on behind those sea-glass eyes, so many things she longed to know, to understand. She released a slow breath. Be patient. She’s just a child. “Haddie . . . sometimes I talk to myself when I’m trying to work through a problem or . . . even just my own tangled thoughts. Sometimes it helps to speak things out loud. They sort of . . . sound different than when they’re just bouncing around in my own head. Was that what you were doing back at the church?”
Haddie seemed to mull that over and then nodded. “Yes, Mommy.”
“So you weren’t speaking to that boy so much as you were talking aloud. You didn’t mean to hurt him or say something cruel.”
Haddie nodded her head vigorously. “Yes, Mommy. Yes, that’s it.”
Scarlett nodded slowly. “I understand that. I bet if someone heard me speaking my thoughts aloud, they’d question me too. Those thoughts are . . . well, they’re unfiltered.” She looked off to the side, trying to put these ideas into childlike terms so she knew they were on the same page. “They’re really just for you so you don’t stop to consider how they’ll sound to others.”
Haddie nodded again, her eyes filling with relieved tears. “Yes,” she said, the word emerging on a choked whisper.
“Oh, Haddie.” Scarlett’s heart gave another painful squeeze and she grabbed her purse, opened her door, and went around to the back where she pulled her daughter into her arms. For a few minutes they stood just like that by the side of the car, both squeezing each other tight. When Scarlett pulled back, Haddie gave her a sweet, tremulous smile. “It’s important to be mindful about what you say out loud, and what you work through in your own head, okay? You don’t ever want to accidentally hurt someone’s feelings, right? Especially someone who might already feel self-conscious about the things that make them different?”
