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As I entered his office, I could tell there was nothing friendly about this meeting. He stood on the other side of his desk with his arms crossed, his jaw firm and his eyebrows angled down.
“I got your text,” I began, not really sure what to say.
“Sit,” he ordered.
I did so, not sure what I should ready myself for.
“I got off the phone with your mother.”
I raised my head and my heart skipped. “Is she coming home?” Maybe she would take Mr. D calling as to mean this situation was serious, and she would actually come home to help deal with it.
“Why would she come home?” he said, sitting down in his seat, never taking his eyes off of me. “That would mean that there was something she could actually come back to address. She told me she had given up on helping you a long time ago.”
His words hurt. Of course she would say something like that. I didn’t know why I expected anything more. But it hurt more hearing her thoughts come from D in such a harsh way.
“I don’t understand why you’re talking this way,” I began.
“You need to tell me the fucking truth. Now!” I had never seen D so angry before. If we weren’t sitting in his office, I would actually be more afraid. He appeared as if he were going to actually erupt.
“That’s just my mother. She never believes me,” I said, hating that my voice quivered so much as I spoke.
“Were you committed to a mental hospital for stalking?”
And there it was.
A blow to my face, to the torso, to my very soul.
D didn’t have to actually punch me for me to feel as if I had just been beaten to a pulp.
“Answer me,” he said in an even tone, but his face told me all I needed to know.
My mother had revealed everything. I hadn’t thought she would ever speak of it to anyone due to her overwhelming shame and how hard she tried to keep it hidden.
“It’s not what you think…”
I had no idea how to defend this. I had no idea what to say or do. Should I just run out of the office and never look back. Should I deny it all? Should I… should I… I had no idea what to do.
“I’m done playing these fucked up games with you, Corrine. It’s time you tell me the fucking truth. I’m not going to keep asking you.”
His warning was most definitely a threat.
“Yes,” I said. “For a short time. A couple of months to get my head on straight. I was just going through a lot and—”
“Did you stalk a teacher at your old school.”
“What did my mother tell you?” I asked.
“It doesn’t matter what your mother told me. What I care about is what you tell me. I deserve the truth. So, I’m going to ask you again. Did you stalk a teacher from your old school?”
Stalk was such a strong word.
Did I hide in shadows outside his house?
Did I watch his every move?
Did I fantasize what it would be like to be with him?
Did I obsess over every little thing he did?
Did I manipulate situations so we could be together?
Did I stalk my old teacher?
“Yes,” I said.
D inhaled deeply, sucking all the breathable air from the room, and I nearly suffocated on what was left.
“But I got help for that. I realized that all I had for that man was an infatuation. Nothing more. Nothing like what you and I have,” I said.
D let out a laugh that sounded anything but jovial. “What we have? What we have?” He took another deep breath before asking, “Have you been stalking me, Corrine?”
I shook my head vigorously. “No, it’s not like that. I know how this might look, but—”
“Was there anyone really stalking you? Did you make it all up?” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Fuck… was this some sort of play for attention? For my attention? Is this what you did to your teacher before?”
“D… I…”
“Stop!” he snapped. “You’ll call me Mr. D from now on. Having you call me anything else was a mistake. I’m your principal, and I expect the formal respect.”
I swallowed back the pain of his words. “Mr. D,” I corrected. “I know this looks really bad, and I understand why you’re upset—”
“Was there a stalker?” His voice raised an octave, but he still kept his outer shell cool and collected. Once again, I was happy we were in his office at school, because if we were in private, I don’t think he would have been half as calm as he was appearing to be.
Was there a stalker?
Was there a stalker?
Was there a stalker?
The truth would be a dagger to what D and I had created. Any chance of anything more would be over.
