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“Hello?” Her sweet, tentative voice comes across the line making every inch of my body tense. There’s an innocence to her voice, almost as if she hasn’t seen the realness the world has to offer.
“Have you been a good girl for me today?” I ask, settling on the sofa which overlooks the back garden. The grass is lush, a bright green illuminated with a golden glow from the sun.
“I have. I even did my homework and didn’t think of you for one fleeting second,” she sasses with confidence, which makes me grin.
“Oh, I’m sure you haven’t. Can you tell me with all honesty that you’ve been in your bedroom, all alone, not thinking about how much I’d love to taste your sweet cunt?”
“You have a foul mouth.”
“That’s the way you like it,” I tell her. “If you didn’t, you would have hung up after telling me to fuck off. You would never have agreed to this if you didn’t want it. And I assure you, you’re going to love when I put my filthy mouth on you.” It’s a promise, a vow that I will not break.
“Perhaps. I promise not to fall in love with your filthy mouth since you seem to be so confident about it.” Her voice lowers to a husky whisper when she speaks, which I’m almost certain she’s doing on purpose. But I can’t stop the chuckle that escapes at her words.
“Love? That word is not in my vocabulary. It’s a wasted emotion that doesn’t bring any form of happiness. It keeps you locked in a box, one the other person puts you in because that’s what they expect of you. I don’t like boxes,” I inform her.
“That’s a really sad way to look at the world,” Arabella counters, her voice strong and confident, which only notches up my respect for her. “Love doesn’t keep you restrained in any way. I believe that if you love someone, they’re the ones who unlock your shackles holding you back. The person who loves you unconditionally will ensure you soar rather than fall.”
“Then why do they say you fall in love? Falling isn’t something that can be done safely. It’s painful and violent. Also, there is no such thing as unconditional love,” I tell her with the confidence of someone who’s been hurt too many times. I thought I was in love before, I was convinced that I had my forever, until it fell apart right before my eyes.
“Of course, there is,” she insists. “Unconditional love comes in any form—friendship, family—”
“If you love someone without restraint, without limitations, there is an underlying promise of never hurting them, but human nature assures us that we can and will hurt someone, even if we love them. Think about any relationship you’ve ever had, whether it’s your parents, friends, or even a boyfriend.” I spit the last word with venom, and I wonder what she would make of my reaction to her having someone in her life. Someone who could give her what I can’t. But I continue, “Did they not hurt you in some way? As small as it was, they would’ve. And if they don’t hurt you, they try to change you.”
Silence greets me, and I know she’s really considering what I’ve said. Most women would laugh it off or counter before they’ve even really thought about it, but that’s where she’s different. Arabella is nothing like the other women or girls I’ve come across. Perhaps it’s because of her upbringing. Maybe it’s because of her past, but she’s mature beyond her eighteen years.
“Perhaps, but they tend to change you in a good way,” she tells me.
“So, then you’re agreeing with my statement that it’s not an unconditional love?” Once more, I throw out a challenge while I enjoy our conversation.
“Not entirely no, but it can be. If someone accepts every part of you, then yes, it’s most definitely unconditional. Like I said, it depends on the person you’re with.” I’ve not been this intrigued by a woman in a long while. And I don’t see her as a teen, even though she is. No, right now, this is a grown woman who’s got a mind of her own.
“And what about when that love fails?” I challenge as I close my eyes, only to picture her right now. I want to be the asshole who asks what she’s wearing and if she’s on her bed. I want to make her feel things she’s only probably read about in books, but I also ache to ensure she experiences things she couldn’t dream up.
“Love fails when the two people in the relationship no longer deem it important. If you’re with someone, you stay faithful. You open up about your darkest secrets and deepest fears.” Her voice falls into the silence over the line, and I wish I could reach in and pull her out. I want her in my bed.
