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“The door knob was put on the door by an Amazonian,” she muttered. “Then they fucked with me even more by putting my kitchen cupboards so high up I need a stepladder to reach anything in them.”
I couldn’t help it, I started to chuckle. Here she was hooked to her door by her underwear, and she was bitching about the height of her kitchen cupboards?
I bit my lip when she glared at me again, but that was when I also noticed the tightness around her eyes. Her current predicament was causing her pain, and this meant that all humor left the situation.
“Do you have any scissors?” I asked her, looking at it all logistically now.
Sighing, she crossed her arms, awkwardly balancing on her right leg which was the one on the ground and not suspended by her panties. “I actually don’t. I was banned from using them when I tried to cut into that tough packaging stuff they put around boxes. You know the stuff that’s designed for you to carry it with, but it’s like a flat strip of wire?” I nodded, knowing what she was talking about well. Having only recently moved, I’d been the lucky recipient of many boxes of furniture - that had needed to be put together – which had the damned stuff around them. The packaging was a pain in the ass, but the memory of the furniture really pissed me off. How many Townsends had it taken to put together my coffee table? The answer was all of them, and it had taken eight hours. “Anyway,” she continued, pulling me out of my furniture reminiscing. “I cut into it and the scissors snapped in half and almost took my finger off.” She held up her left index finger and pointed to a space right beneath the middle knuckle. Clear as day was a deep scar creating an extra dip on the digit. “If that wasn’t bad enough, the packaging stuff snapped up and also cut me here,” she pointed to a tiny scar under her chin. “After that, Dad dealt with all of it.”
“If you’re going to blame it on your shit luck, baby,” I growled, crowding closer to her. “You’re wrong. That was an accident, it can happen to anyone. When I got my end tables, I opened the box the wrong way and a heavy piece of wood fell out on my foot. Then, when we were putting together my dining table, the screwdriver we were using slipped out of Levi’s hand and went into his leg, right above his knee. Accidents happen.”
Looking at me wide eyed, she took in what I was saying. “Maybe you’re bad luck?”
Snorting, I reached behind her and took hold of the material that was hooked. I couldn’t use a knife in case I slipped and cut her beautiful butt cheek, so ripping it was what I’d do.
“I think maybe we should just leave it where it is,” she whimpered. “Get me a chair and I’ll sit here for the rest of my life.”
“I’m not leaving you here,” I chuckled, giving the material an experimental tug. When she gasped and then whimpered again, I let go and took a step back so I could check on her. “What’s the issue? Are you in pain?” Maybe she’d cut herself too?
Her face turned even redder, and she looked to the side of us, and then followed it up by doing a double take. Looking in the same direction, I saw Harambe, Bing and Baileys all sitting in a line watching us with their heads cocked to the side.
Creepy little fuckers!
Turning back, she indicated for me to come closer, so I bent down and put my ear near her mouth.
“It’s cutting my ladinga in two,” she whispered, sounding close to tears now. “And I wish I hadn’t bent over even more to tell you that because I’m pretty certain I’ve just done myself some damage.”
She gingerly straightened and started to take deep breaths. Looking down at her ‘ladinga’, I noticed that there was definitely some extra ‘definition’ showing through the tiny sleeping shorts she was wearing. It wasn’t what a camel toe would normally look like, but it definitely didn’t look normal. Unfortunately, as I was raising my eyes on the way back up her body, I noticed her little nipples poking through the tight thin material of her tank top. Those little puffy nubs were perfect. And distracting. But oh, so perfect!
“When you’re quite finished, asshole,” Dahlia hissed, returning into her normal fireball self.
I could have made a rude comment, but that wasn’t in my nature. I also could have made a sexual comment, but it wasn’t the right situation for that. Instead, I just grinned and shrugged.
“You’d do the same if I was in your situation!”
Growling something under her breath about silverback balls, she looked back over at the dogs.
