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“If you feed him that steak, you twisted twat, I’ll rip your nipples off and feed them to him as a side salad,” the light of my life screeched from inside the house. “Now, let Madix in for God’s sake.”
Dahlia’s best friend leaned in over me and hissed, “I’m only doing this because your puppy is giving me the sad eyes,” she warned. “But if you hurt her, I’ll Duct Tape your dick to your ball sacks. Oh, and you can thank me later for still being able to say ball sacks in the plural sense, instead of it being just one because that’s all you have left. Or deflated bags in general,” she tacked on at the end, looking down at the testicles in question making me wince internally.
What the fuck was wrong with just saying hello and introducing yourself?
With one last glare in my direction, she turned around and walked toward Dahlia’s kitchen with all three dogs trailing behind her. I didn’t doubt she would give them that steak, and apparently neither did they.
Looking back at Dahlia, I took her in, watching as she placed the cell she was holding to her chest on the table. As I got to her eyes though, I paused when I saw the tears building in them.
“Are you…” I got out before she launched herself at me, making me lose my balance enough that I went down on one knee on the floor, pain shooting up my thigh at the impact.
Wrapping her legs around my waist, she held on tight.
“I’m sorry,” she sobbed. “I’m so, so, so, sorry,” she kept repeating into my neck.
I took a second to get over the shock of what had happened, but when I did I was about to ask her what was wrong when a voice barked, “What the fuck?” from the direction of the kitchen. Both of us turned our heads and saw Bonnie staring at us in confusion.
“I’m such a bitch,” Dahlia wailed, bringing my attention back to her.
“Well, yeah,” Bonnie agreed loudly. “And I can see why you’d be crying if it’s taken you this long to figure that out.”
Wrenching her head away from me, Dahlia turned back to her best friend, almost falling off my lap. “Shut up, snatch face,” she snapped. “I’m… I’m…,” she trailed off, looking for the word and not finding it.
“Distraught?” Bonnie suggested.
“Yeah!” Dahlia nodded and looked back at me but stopped when her best friend continued.
“A twat? Melodramatic? Saggy flapped? A snotty ugly crier?”
“Oh my God,” Dahlia screeched. “You should have been a blow job. One that didn’t result in a happy ending either so that the sperm that made you got stuck in your dad’s…”
I really didn’t want to, but I lifted my hand off her right butt cheek and clamped it over her mouth so she couldn’t finish whatever it was she was saying.
Unfortunately, this didn’t stop Bonnie’s mouth running. “Yeah, well, you should have been anal!”
Feeling her move, I held on tight with my other hand to stop her jumping off my lap. After I’d spoken with Dahlia and found out what was wrong, I’d let her go and kill her friend.
Grinning, Bonnie turned and walked back into the kitchen, leaving me with a pissed off and still teary woman who was now glaring at me for stopping her.
That was until our dogs decided to help their momma out.
“What the hell is… aww, did you poop, Baileys? It looks like tiny itty-bitty raisins. Aunty Bon-Bon will get it for her precious little…,” and then she screamed. “I stood in shit. I Stood. In. Shit!” Making us both chuckle and Dahlia’s eyes start sparkling again. “You’re meant to be a baby dog, not a horse. That’s not cute, so not cute. Oh, strike me down with a cactus up the ass – it’s between my toes. Bad, Harambe, bad!”
Keeping my hands in their current positions – one on her ass, the other still across her mouth so she didn’t run it and end up with shitty footprints throughout the house as her friend chased her – I walked us over to the door that led into the kitchen and kicked it shut with my foot.
Moving over to her couch, I settled down into it and took a deep breath as I tipped my head back to lay it on the cushion behind me. I was exhausted after the shit I’d been through with work, exhausted from the long drive back, exhausted with everything. And I wasn’t too proud to admit that I was worried and hella apprehensive about what Dahlia was about to tell me. So, yeah, I need a second to prepare myself and figure out how to hold up the fifty-ton weight that was my head so I could deal with it all.
Lowering my hand down, I took a deep breath and prepared.
