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With him gone, all that was left was Bryn.
“Down to your last resort,” she said.
I laughed and shook my head. “Actually, I was going to say, ‘save the best for last.’”
“Much like that burger at the bar, it’s cheesy, but I’ll take it,” Bryn said.
“Speaking of which, why don’t we go back there? They have some good food other than giant greasy burgers,” I said.
“As long as you promise not to get garlic mayonnaise anywhere near me, I’m in,” she said.
We headed for the bar, but rather than perching on the stools, we took a corner booth. She ordered ginger ale, and I noticed she seemed hesitant about ordering anything to eat. Finally settling on a bowl of soup and club sandwich, Bryn settled back into the seat and let out a sigh.
I didn’t talk about work or investments or Justin or anything else going on with her in that area. It was most of what we had shared with each other so far, but it seemed like she needed a break. Even if she didn’t think she needed one, she deserved it after that meeting with Gabe and Quentin.
Instead, we talked about our lives and our families. We compared names of childhood pets and favorite vacation memories. It was nothing heavy or important, but I didn’t want it to stop.9BrynA side effect of my long-term relationship ending that I hadn’t really thought about, but that became abundantly clear very quickly, was that it left my weekends very open. There was no longer the date night I thought Justin was so thoughtful for putting together for me, but now recognized as requiring very little effort. I also didn’t have any of the other couple-y things we would do together.
At first, that made me angry. It just brought back all the aggravated, betrayed feelings. Suddenly it wasn’t just about being mad that he stole from me. Or that he was lying to me and trying to go behind my back and make a bunch of money for himself, but he was never going to tell me about. It was also sheer embarrassment that he was going to traipse right back off to the same group of people we hung out with, but not have me there.
Thinking about what he was going to say to them and the kind of spin he was going to put on the story to explain the end of our relationship just made me feel angrier.
I stomped around the house filling my time with anger-fueled chores. But after a few loads of laundry that involved slamming at the machines closed so hard I was briefly afraid I’d broken one of them and scrubbing the floors with far too much vengeance, I forced myself to sit down.
Closing my eyes, I concentrated on the positive aspects of the situation. All I could come up with was that now I knew the truth about Justin, and I wasn’t going to waste any more time on him. At least I found everything out now, and it wasn’t a few years down the road when he roped me into marriage and ended up hurting me even more.
It wasn’t a small positive. In fact, if there was ever a silver lining, that was it. I decided to stop letting the anger control me. That was just giving him more power and letting him take more from me. Doing my best to choose an optimistic and peaceful outlook, I finished tidying up the house, got ahead on some work projects, and realized I was bored out of my skull.
I tried to look at it as an opportunity to just kick back and relax. That wasn’t something I did very often, and maybe I would enjoy it. Putting on my best lounge clothes, complete with fuzzy slippers, I popped some popcorn and curled up on the couch. Ten minutes and flipping around to change positions twelve times later, I got up with a frustrated huff.
I was not fantastic at not doing anything. Sitting around at my place watching TV and just waiting for the time to go to bed again didn’t appeal to me. I needed to do something to fill the time. I needed to remember how to function just on my own.
Getting dressed, I took some extra time to do my hair and put on a bit more makeup than usual. It wasn’t to appeal to anybody, really. Instead, I just wanted to see what it was like to give myself all that attention again. And to feel good about myself while I was out. I had to admit, it was pretty nice.
It didn’t help me decide what I was going to do to keep my mind occupied, but at least I could feel like I looked good doing it.
As I got in my car to head into town, my stomach did the slight slip again. I had been dealing with the low-key nausea on and off since brunch. It wasn’t too bad, but I was hoping it would go away soon. Being sick was one of those things that forced you to take downtime, and I wasn’t particularly eager to know what it was like to be sick all alone.
