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“Did you love her?”
“I mean, in my own way, at the time. The way only teenagers boys can love.”
He took another drink. His hands were beginning to shake, his lower lip following close behind.
“She was amazing and terrifying, depending on if she liked you or not. Outside my family she was my whole world for a time. Not everyone felt the same. As the temple started to grow under her influence, more people started to take notice. Both positive and negative. This was about when the trouble with your dad started. It went on for about two years. From when I was seventeen to when I was nineteen. Counter Protests and that sort of thing. Nothing we couldn’t handle. I got pissed when my older sister got hit by a rock thrown by one of your dad’s flock. Felt honor bound to try and do something but Jax talked me down. She probably saved my life.”
He was quiet for a long time. His head hung, looking at the bottle clenched in his hands between his knees, like it contained the secrets of the universe. His breathing became ragged. Like he was trying not to cry.
“The death threats started coming. Mostly bullshit. Ghost stories as Tom MacDonald would say. It even became funny after a while. We should have paid more attention.”
“It’s okay,” I said, taking his hand.
He didn’t pull away.
“We were at one of our demonstrations. Jax was giving a speech, powerful and mesmerizing as ever. Just as she started saying how the words used to describe us are widely misunderstood and greater understanding was needed if monotheists and others were ever going to co-exist like the bumper-stickers say. She had made it as far as ‘bumper’ when the first shots rant out. We’d been warned. Some pastor had written in saying he had bought a new box of hollow points just for her. Dammit if he wasn’t telling the truth. The church letterhead really should have been a clue.’’
The sound made me jump. His fist nearly breaking the coffee table in half at the center. Augustus rubbed his eyes, ending tears before they were able to start.
“I was standing behind her. We all saw her fall but I was the only one who tried to catch her. She tried to say something but the shots had gone right through her lungs. The bastard kept going. Most of the rounds exploding into the brick wall behind us. In all the excitement I got hit while I was holding her in my arms. Watching the life flicker from her eyes.”
I wanted to hug him. Though I didn’t know if I should. I kept holding his hand, squeezing it tighter. Letting him know he wasn’t alone.
“It’s what I see every time I go to sleep or look in the mirror. The speech, the shots, what happened after. I don’t look in the mirror much anymore. Up until recently I was lucky to get three hours of sleep.”
“What happened?”
“You.”
“Really?”
“I don’t pretend to know what it is or what will happen. All I know is there is something very special about you.
“Of course!”
I hugged him tight and he returned. Holding me gently in his strong arms. We really were quite a pair. Both of us damaged by the past but looking forward to the future.Chapter Fourteen - AugustusThe owls started up again, not able to tell time. Their hoots accompanied the breaking of the day. There are always rebels in every group. Rachel hadn’t heard them yet. Still, off to sleep long before me. I looked down at her. Cuddled like a kitten in my lap. She shifted a bit as I stroked her hair.
It is interesting how habits can form. One day you only want to eat junk food, but after only about a week off of it, you don’t even like it anymore. The physical dependency is gone and you taste it for what it really is. So it can be with people. Once the image you held has been shattered, you can see them for what they really are.
I certainly didn’t know what to call our coupling. We were as close as any romantic partners except we hadn’t had sex. I hadn’t even seen her naked, though right now, I was getting close.
The sexy number she wore the first day of classes more due to the weather than anything else. Rachel often coming out wrapped in her robe, it was apparent she was bare underneath. Or when she dressed it was sparse, in shorts and a tank top. I joked that now that her classes were online, she could do them naked. She shocked me by confessing she already did.
“What time is it?” she asked, eyes still closed.
“Breakfast time? Did I get it right?”
“Well done.”
Disentangling ourselves, plans were set in motion for the biggest breakfast spread in the history of the year. We were both on fruit at that point. Rachel was skeptical at first until I made her one of my blender drinks. It was all it took to convert her. We still got protein through alternative sources, things like plant-based burgers.
