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Socially distant to the max!
Unfortunately, I couldn’t hide in my room forever. Eventually, I had to come out to use the bathroom or grab some food. I would peek out of my doorway, make sure he wasn’t in the hall and then sneak downstairs in my socks. I was convinced he was in his room since the door was shut, so I was safe.
But then, boom! There he was!
“Hey, Tracianne,” he said, trying to engage again.
No, I wouldn’t let him.
“Sorry, gotta go,” I said quickly, rushing out of the room and into the nearest doorway.
This time, I found myself in the pantry. It was pretty large and I wasn’t by myself. I found Daphene in the room, sobbing on the floor.
“Oh, sorry,” I muttered. “I guess you’re using the pantry. I’ll go.”
“No, Tracianne, please,” she begged. “Can we talk?”
I wanted to leave, but talking to Daphene was probably easier. Plus, I did feel bad she was crying. What the Hell was that about it?
“Yeah, sure,” I agreed. “Are you okay? Why are you crying?”
“I just--- I’m trying to be a good mother and I--- I feel like I’m failing you!” she cried.
“Oh, no, you’re not,” I said gingerly. “You’re my stepmother, so it’s different.”
“You probably hate me!” she exclaimed.
“No-no-no,” I assured her. “I just--- Well, this is an adjustment for me.”
“Me too,” she sniffed. “I didn’t think it would be this hard.”
Now I felt really bad. God, maybe Phil’s right. I’m a total bitch. I had certainly done everything I could to alienate Daphene. I wasn’t even happy at their wedding and I love weddings. Maybe it was time not to make this all about me.
“Daphene, I’m sorry,” I sighed. “Maybe I have been rough on you. I didn’t mean to be a jerk, but--- It’s hard.”
“I know.”
“I think you’re a nice person and my dad loves you a lot, so--- I just--- Baby steps, right?”
“Sure,” she sniffed.
I sat down next to her on the pantry floor.
“Oh, this is nice,” I noted. “It’s cool down here. Is there where you come to cry?”
“Not normally. I mean, I’m not normally crying,” she explained. “I used to be happy. Back when I was your age.”
“Phil thinks you’re a wonderful mother,” I offered.
“He said that?”
“Well, we don’t talk much,” I admitted, not wanting to lie too much. “It’s certainly implied. You know how men are when it comes to expressing their feelings.”
“I don’t think women are all that great at it either,” she confessed. “You know, I always wanted a daughter. Not instead of Phil, but another kid. I thought maybe we could do girly things, like go shopping or go get our hair done.”
“That sounds nice,” I agreed.
Well, I guess I could do a shopping date with her. I mean, I guess I feel like I owe her a nice day out. What would be the big deal, right? We go to brunch, then hit the mall, buy some stuff--- Maybe go to Starbucks.
I mean, you’d have to be made of stone not to enjoy an afternoon like that, right? And it’s not like dad’s going to take me.
“You don’t have to if you think you need to be nice to me.”
“No, I want to go,” I insisted. “I think we’d have a good time. You like T.J. Maxx?”
“The one in the mall? Yeah. I wonder when they’ll be open again.”
“I can’t imagine they’ll keep the mall closed forever,” I said hopefully. “I mean, people gotta buy stuff, right?”
“How’s schoolwork going?”
“Good. It’s pretty easy now that everything’s online. Most people have the answers and start emailing to me before the professor can fully explain what the assignment is.”
“Did the virus really disrupt things for you on campus?”
“Yeah. I had friends there. We were close.”
“What about boys? Were you seeing anyone?”
“Not really,” I said, worried that she’d keep pressing. “I just wanted to catch up on my schoolwork.”
“Really? Not even one? At college, my God--- The guys seemed to be everywhere.”
“Yeah, they kind of are,” I agreed. “There was this one guy. Jared. But I made a fool of myself in front of him. Had a little too much to drink.”
“That usually ends up with someone waking up looking the fool.”
“I was tempted, but no,” I admitted. “Jared was a cool guy. I don’t know. Maybe when I got back. Seems like we’re so far from that.”
“I know,” agreed Daphene. “Another two weeks at least. They’re talking about keeping the state closed through most of June.”
“Wow, that’s too long, I think.”
“There’s a big fight about it on the news,” Daphene relayed. “I don’t follow politics that closely, but it sounds like politics is getting in the way.”
“Doesn’t it always?”
“Yeah,” she agreed. “Look, Tracianne, this might be uncomfortable to talk about, but I’m going to breach the subject.”
Oh, no. Where is this going?
“Okay,” I said, as if agreeing to what sounded like a cringe moment.
