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Biting into the rich brownie, Lauren tried to picture herself with Kevin ten years from now. No matter how hard she tried, the visual wouldn’t form. While she could picture herself several years from now sitting in her living room watching a movie while cuddled up next to someone, Kevin’s face wasn’t the one sitting beside her. Instead, Nate sat on the sofa, his arm around her.
Without stopping to consider what her actions might tell her sister, Lauren popped the last bite of her brownie into her mouth and reached for a second. For years she’d kept thoughts of Nate Callahan blocked out, safely stored away. Now, though, she couldn’t get him out of her head.
***
Nate pressed down on the accelerator of his Mustang as he hit the apex of the turn on Breakneck Hill and grinned. It’d been a long time since he’d driven the curvy road, but he still knew where each and every turn was. Man, it felt good to be home. Until the weekend before when he’d moved back into the apartment over his parents’ garage, he hadn’t realized just how much he’d missed Ridgefield.
Crossing over the town line into Slatersville, he turned onto Milford Road toward the center of town and Elm Street. He’d gotten Lauren’s address from his mom the day after the retirement party. When he’d asked if she knew where Lauren lived, she hadn’t asked any questions. Instead she’d given him a small smile, pulled out her address book, and wished him luck. He’d wanted to stop by that afternoon, but an appointment with a realtor made that impossible.
Turning right onto Elm Street, he slowed the car so he could check house numbers. All the homes on the street were either small capes or ranches with small yards. A few homes had swing sets or pools in the backyard, but for the most part it was your typical cookie-cutter neighborhood.
A mailbox with flowers painted on the sides and a large number four told him he’d reached his destination. Turning into the driveway behind a red Mini Cooper with a bumper sticker that read “Love to Dance,” he killed the engine. Nervous energy shot through him as he studied the well-kept ranch before him. From the looks of it, the home had been recently painted, perhaps that past fall, and squat shrubs sat in a row in front of the farmer’s porch. Right now the shrubs were still bare, but in the summer he imagined they’d be alive with color. A flagpole with an American flag was attached to the home and a black lamppost sat at the end of the brick walkway.
Getting out of the car, he slammed the door shut. Beneath his boots the gravel crackled as he strolled up to the walkway. The sound of a nearby wind chime and children playing outside a few houses down faded away as the blood thundering in his ears increased. Polite but distant described her behavior at the party. While she’d reacted much differently in his dreams, her initial reaction to his return didn’t shock him, but it did disappoint him. A lot of time had passed since their last summer together. How would she react today?
Despite the cool temperature, a trickle of sweat ran down his back as he pressed the doorbell. Immediately, he heard a dog bark inside. As he waited, the dog inside continued to bark, but Lauren still didn’t appear. Was she out? Had her date from the party come by and picked her up? With all the noise the dog made, she had to know someone was outside if she was home.
Damn it. He wanted to talk to her tonight. He’d already waited longer than he wanted. Inside, the dog became silent. Was it worth it to try the bell again? If his first attempt combined with the dog’s racket hadn’t told her she had a visitor, would a second attempt make a difference? On the other hand, he had nothing to lose by trying again.
Nate’s finger zeroed in on the doorbell, but he stopped when Lauren opened the door. She was dressed in a long dark pink sweater with black leggings, and her ash blonde hair hung in a wet tangled mess around her shoulders. A black dog stood next to her, its tailing wagging back and forth. For a heartbeat or two, they both stared at each other, neither saying a word. Even with her uncombed wet hair and shell-shocked expression, she looked more beautiful today than she had when they’d dated.
“Nate?” Lauren’s forehead creased. “What . . . why are you here?” She shook her head. “How did you know where I live?”
“I asked my mother.” Starting with the simple questions seemed best.
“Oh. Yeah, I guess that makes sense.”
Did she plan to invite him in? Standing in front of the open door with wet hair, she had to be cold. “Mind if I come in?” While he’d stand on the front step and talk all day if he had to, he figured they’d both be more comfortable inside.
Lauren blushed and took a step back. “Sorry. You surprised me. Come on in.”
Although she let him, she didn’t move from her new spot near the door or ask him to sit. “So, uh, what are you doing here?” Lauren pushed a clump of wet hair away from her face.
Nate glanced around the room briefly, searching for the right words before looking back at Lauren. Confusion and unease radiated from her expression. “I hoped we could talk,” he said, wishing that he’d practiced what he wanted to say. “Catch up and stuff. I’ve missed you.” Okay, so he’d never get a job writing romantic greeting cards, but he’d been honest with her.
Lauren frowned up at him. “Now isn’t a good time. I’m getting ready to go out. When you rang the bell I was in the shower. I still need to fix my hair and do my makeup.
Jealousy exploded around his heart. “The snob from the party taking you out?” Nate tried to keep the anger from his voice, but the surprise on Lauren’s face told him he’d failed.
“Kevin, my boyfriend, will be here soon.”
He didn’t miss the slight pause before she said “boyfriend,” as if it was the first time she’d referred to him that way.
“We’ll have to catch up some other time.” Lauren added, her arms crossing over her chest. She glared at him.
Nate wanted to kick himself. This visit wasn’t going the way he’d intended. “Lauren, I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.” He took a step toward her, but stopped when her dog moved to sit directly in front of her. “I didn’t come by to argue. I came here to talk. I hoped we could go out and catch up.” Ignoring the dog standing guard, he took another step toward her. “I’ve missed you.” Reaching for her hand, he intended to pull her arms away from her chest, but the moment he reached for her, she took a step back.
“You’ve missed me?” Lauren asked with disbelief. “How can you say that when not once in fifteen years did you contact me?”
Guilt slammed into him. “It’s not that I didn’t think about it.”
“Thinking and doing are two different things, Nate,” she said. Her light brown eyes narrowed and her voice turned cold.
Prepared to apologize, Nate opened his mouth but the doorbell rang, and he didn’t get the opportunity to say anything. Once again the dog barked wildly as Lauren groaned and threw up her hands.
“Great. Kevin’s here, and I’m not ready.” Without another glance in his direction, she walked around him to the door.
As if this visit weren’t already going downhill fast, now he had her boyfriend, or whatever he was, to contend with too. Turning toward the door, he watched her welcome Kevin inside.
“I’m running a little behind.” She closed the front door behind Kevin. “You remember Nate from the other night.” She nodded in his direction. “He stopped by to say hello.”
Nate glanced back and forth between Lauren and Kevin. So far, neither had shown any display of affection. Not a hug or a kiss? Strange. Either the two of them were only friends despite Lauren’s claims otherwise, or their relationship was still in its early stages. Both options worked for him, although the first could make his task much easier.
“Nice to see you again.” Kevin extended his hand.
“Nate was just leaving,” Lauren said before he could say or do anything. “Give me ten minutes, and we can leave too.” Lauren took a step toward him. “Thanks for stopping by. It was good to see you.” Lauren clasped her hands behind her back as she met his gaze. “Sorry we couldn’t talk longer.”
The confusion and apprehension in her eyes betrayed her true feelings. She obviously wanted him as far away from her as possible right now.
“That’s okay. We’ll catch up some other time.” He took a step back toward the door. Retreat. The word rolled through him along with disgust. He wasn’t the kind of man who retreated. Yet at the moment he had no other option. She’d made that quite clear.
***
The theater exploded in another roar of laughter when Lisa Jones, the comedian on the stage, delivered the punch line. Lauren, however, remained silent. She had missed the first half of the joke, so the punch line made no sense to her. Actually, so far that night, she’d missed most of the jokes. Sure, she’d heard the comedian’s words, but she hadn’t processed most of them. Instead, her thoughts returned time and again to her past two conversations with Nate.
