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“None of them live near the university.”
“You live alone then?”
“Uh, no…I’ve got a roommate.” That was one description for her chaperone. “She’s terribly nosy. That’s why we’re having dinner here rather than in my apartment.”
“I see.”
She doubted it. Few people had to tolerate the level of intrusion into the privacy of their life as royalty, but that was the cost of being who she was. Or so she’d been told over and over again since birth. She shook off the thought and smiled. “Are you ready for the salad?”
“Salad is good.”
She took the remaining pastry away and returned with the salad and a small bowl of bread pieces. They fed each other again, but the traditional salad was messy and they ended up laughing more than anything else. She served the three elements of the main dish together on a single oblong platter with the two meats on each side and the cous cous in the center.
The apricot chicken was sweet and tangy, and for the first time in the hundreds of times she’d eaten it, it had a strangely aphrodisiaclike quality. Or something did because this time when bits of the sauce dribbled onto his chin, all she wanted to do was lick them off…not laugh. Not even sort of.
It seemed to affect him the same way because he actually leaned toward her before groaning and wiping at something at the corner of her mouth with his thumb.
“This is my favorite meal, but I have never enjoyed eating it as much as right now,” she admitted in a voice laced with awe she made no attempt to stifle.
She didn’t mind him knowing he had such a profound impact on her.
His eyes devoured her with such intensity that her body shook. His jaw tightened, but he said nothing.
“It’s the company,” she dared to say, leaning just slightly forward.
A strangled sound came from his throat and he jumped up. “I need to…” His voice trailed off as he headed to the bathroom.
Deflated, Lina slumped on her seating cushion. Maybe she’d been wrong. Maybe Sebastian didn’t want her. At least not anymore. Had her reaction in the lake disgusted him, but he’d been too polite to say so? Only it seemed that he had been trying very hard to get exactly the response she had given him.
Bits of lectures from both her mother and her aunt rang in Lina’s ears, condemning her embracing her newfound sensuality. She looked down at her clothes and noticed that in her current sitting position the shadowed valley between her s was on display. Feeling the disappointed gaze of both her mother and her aunt even though the women were miles—and in the case of her mother an ocean—away, she yanked the top up, covering the .
Then she stumbled to her feet, her limbs still suffering the effects of arousal. Quickly clearing the low table of food, she silently berated herself for foolishly believing she and Sebastian had something special.
Something he wanted to keep and explore as much as she did.
He came out of the bathroom as she put dessert on the table, this time with forks to eat it with. She wasn’t risking making an idiot of herself again. She’d poured two glasses of sweetened mint tea as well and placed them beside the dessert bowls as Sebastian sat down.
Instead of taking her place beside him, she took a position on the sofa across the coffee table from him.
His brows rose in question, but she ignored the silent communication. If he wasn’t going to verbalize the question, she wasn’t going to embarrass herself by answering it.
“Are you all right, Lina?”
“Fine.” She took a bite of mango that tasted like sawdust in her mouth.
“Why are you sitting up there?”
Oh, now that was just mean. Like he didn’t know. She frowned at him. “I felt like it.”
His expression was pained. “I see.”
“I’m sure you do.” She looked down at her dessert and asked, “Would you prefer coffee to the mint tea?”
“I would prefer you were sitting beside me again.”
“Right.”
“Damn it, Lina.”
Her head came up and she glared into his eyes. “What? I got the message, all right? I can’t help it if I need the physical distance. Pointing it out is hardly tactful and it would be a kindness if you would simply drop the subject right now. It won’t happen again, I ure you.”
“What won’t happen?” He looked genuinely confused and not a little frustrated himself. “Nothing has happened.”
Her attempted seduction was nothing? That was an even more demoralizing thought than what her family would think of her behavior. “Right. Nothing important has occurred here tonight.”
He said an ugly word and she flinched.
“I apologize,” he muttered.
They ate in silence, neither one finishing their fruit before pushing the bowls away. She took the cue and got up to clear the table, forgoing the final ceremonial hand washing after dinner. He’d obviously done so when he was in the bathroom and she’d washed her hands in the kitchen sink when she was clearing the main course. Since they’d used forks, they didn’t need to do so again and she wanted to avoid any semblance of additional intimacy.
So many thoughts and feelings were rushing through her that she couldn’t make sense of any of them. She didn’t know if his hasty retreat to the bathroom was an all-out rejection, or not.
Sebastian stood and helped her carry dishes and cutlery into the kitchen. She filled the sink with water and soap to wash the dishes. She’d planned to do it later, but now she needed something to keep her hands occupied.
He joined her at the sink and began rinsing the dishes as she placed them in the second sink, then drying them.
“You don’t need to help. This will only take me a minute.” She’d washed all the cooking utensils before he arrived.
“I don’t mind.”
She stifled a sound of annoyance. She needed a break from his presence, but he seemed singularly obtuse to that fact.
“These are beautiful dishes,” he said. “Are they yours?”
“Yes.” They were from the traditional set of china her aunt had given her when she moved into the apartment with her chaperone.
“Are they family heirlooms?”
“Not heirlooms, I don’t think, but they’re from my family’s home country.”
“Where is that?”
“Marwan.”
“Like your last name.”
“Yes.”
“That’s pretty interesting.”
“I guess.” She wasn’t telling him all her secrets, especially tonight of all nights.
“Is it a common name in your country?”
“Not too common, no.”
“Does that mean you are someone special in your country?”
“My country is the United States, but if you mean Marwan…no, I’m really no one special there.” Not special enough to keep around, not important enough to have a voice in her family or anything else.
“You sound angry.”
“No.” Sad and disappointed by that reality, but not angry. Not anymore.
His hands on her shoulders, he turned her to face him. “Look at me.”
She shook her head, her gaze firmly fixed on his chest. Which was not conducive to her peace of mind, but it was better than meeting his eyes.
He tipped her chin up. “Lina.”
“What?”
“Tell me what is bothering you.”
“Please, Sebastian, drop it.”
His thumb brushed over her lips. “I can’t.” And he sounded really bothered by that fact.
She bit back a whimper at his touch. “I know that you don’t want me. And that’s okay. Really. I just. I feel stupid.”
“Stupid? Oh not stupid, princess. Never that. If anything, you are too intelligent.”
Not believing the compliment for a minute, she shrugged. As she did so, she realized that somehow he’d moved even closer because her s brushed against his upper abs. Her s tightened against the silk sweater. If he looked down, he could not miss the evidence of her weakness. She prayed he did not look down.
“Why do you think I don’t want you?”
“I can’t believe you are asking me that. Do we have to talk about this, Sebastian? You may not have feelings for me, but I thought we were at least friends. Why would you want to humiliate me?” she asked, unable to keep the tears fighting to break free out of her voice.
His hand on her shoulder tightened. “The last thing I want to do is humiliate you.”
“Then maybe you should go in the other room.” She swallowed. “Before I humiliate myself.”
“You want me.”
“You can’t doubt that after the afternoon at the lake.”
“I could say the same.”
