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“What, you thought one of them might be a traitor?”
“It’s been known to happen.”
She couldn’t argue that. Didn’t even want to. Didn’t want to keep talking at all. There was too much pain inside of her and it was going to find its way out soon. “So, everything was a big deception. You weren’t my friend…my anything.”
“The deception was necessary.”
“No, it wasn’t.” Pain lanced through her, but she wasn’t going to let that comment slide. “You could have told me the truth.”
Except it was obvious he agreed with her family that she wasn’t smart or strong enough to be kept in the loop on what was happening in her own life. She felt like an idiot all right, but for trusting Sebastian. Maybe her family was right…she certainly hadn’t shown good judgment of character when it came to him.
Heck, she’d let herself fall in love with a man who was lying to her in order to do his job.
“You lied to me, over and over,” she whispered the accusation, the vise on her heart squeezing tighter. “I fell for you and it was all a lie. Everything.”
“I lied?” he asked with clear censure. “And you have been so up front and honest with me, princess.”
For the first time, the word did not sound like an endearment.
She stared at him, grateful for the wall at her back. She was sure her legs would not support her otherwise. “What were all those questions about? Do you live alone? Why haven’t I met your family?” she mocked. “My gosh, you probably know more about my life than I do.” Her voice was rising to a dangerous register. For the first time in her life, she was nearly shouting. “I thought you liked me for me, not because of my family’s wealth or position. I can’t believe how stupid I’ve been.”
“Stop acting like the injured innocent, Lina.” His voice was ice-cold. “You say you fell for me, but you never once told me the truth about yourself. I gave you a chance tonight to be honest, to trust me and you sidestepped it. Just like you have every other opportunity since we met.”
“I didn’t want where I come from to prejudice your opinion of me,” she cried out. “Besides, the fewer people aware of my true identity, the less a security risk to me. You should understand that.”
“That might have flown in the beginning, but we’ve known each other for weeks. You planned to offer me your body tonight, but intended to continue to withhold the truth. If you had feelings for me, you would not consider me a security risk. You certainly don’t mind circumventing other measures meant to protect you when you find it convenient.”
“It’s not the same, everything about you is a lie. I do…did…care about you, but there was no relationship on your side. Just a job.” Didn’t he understand how much that hurt her? How wrong that was? But then, like her father, Sebastian obviously believed the ends justified the means.
For just a second, the blank mask slipped and anger blazed out of his dark gray eyes. “Just like a woman to have a double standard about honesty. You are like every other woman I have known Princess Lina bin Fahd al Marwan. Your protestations of heartfelt emotion carry as much weight as the other truths you have chosen to share with me.”
“That’s not fair, Sebastian. I had my reasons.”
“Like you have your reasons for lying to your family and your security team. Does it matter to you that the men on your detail will most likely lose their jobs once my report is filed with your father’s head of security? Did you once consider your family or the poor saps responsible for your safety when you were busy lying to them all so you could have your freedom?”
She couldn’t breathe. He didn’t know her at all. She’d thought he’d understood her, but that was just another deception. However, it wasn’t that knowledge that was shredding her heart right now. The men in her security detail weren’t bad. They had lives, families…she could not stand to see them fired.
“You can’t file a report that gets them in trouble.” She didn’t care if she sounded like she was begging. She was. She’d never do it on her own behalf, but for the good of men who relied on her family’s goodwill for their livelihood she would not let her pride stand in the way.
“You should have considered that before learning to circumvent the security measures your family had put in place.”
“I didn’t know I was being watched by a second detail, did I? I would never have done anything to get them into trouble.”
“And you don’t think that if something happened to you on one of the numerous occasions you’d managed to ditch your bodyguards that they wouldn’t have been fired? Or worse?”
“No one knows who I am here. I’m not at risk.”
“You’re beyond naïve if you believe that.”
So, just like every other man in her life, Sebastian thought she was lacking brainpower. So much for his earlier comment on her intelligence. She didn’t have the time to worry about that right now however. “Please, Sebastian, you can’t file that report.”
“I don’t have a choice. I take my job seriously.”
She looked down at the floor, hugging herself for comfort that was never there. She had to convince him to keep some things out of that report. “What if I promised not to do it again?”
“Not to do what exactly?”
She thought quickly before speaking, knowing that she would feel compelled to keep any promise she made to the letter. No matter what he thought of her honor. “What if I promised not to do any of the things that I’ve done to ditch my bodyguards again?”
He snorted and her head snapped up. “What?” Then she answered her own question before he could. “You don’t think I’m capable of keeping a promise.”
“Like you kept your promise to be honest with your security team?”
“I’ve never made such a promise. I’ve never even claimed such a thing. It is not my fault they ume I’m too dumb or docile, or both, to arrange for a slice of personal freedom in my life.”
He still looked unconvinced.
It shouldn’t surprise her, but it did…and it hurt. “Look, even if our supposed friendship was nothing but smoke and mirrors, you must know me well enough by now to realize I would never do anything intentionally to hurt someone else, particularly the people dependent on me for their livelihood.”
“Yet, you put the jobs of your entire security team and your chaperone at risk, not to mention your uncle losing face with your father once it comes to light that he is ignorant of big chunks of your life.”
“I never thought I would be caught. It wasn’t on purpose.”
He shook his head.
“Please, Sebastian.”
“You promise me you won’t lie to your security detail or your family again nor will you argue against the new measures and I will consider making suggestions for your increased security without revealing why I think they are necessary.”
“I promise.” She certainly wasn’t going to want the freedom to try dating again for a very long time. She never wanted to hurt like this again.
“I promise not to deceive my family or retainers when it comes to my personal security,” she clarified.
She wasn’t promising never to withhold the truth from her family again. She lived a whole life that they would never understand, particularly the little detail that she was now an American citizen.
His look anything but approving, Sebastian nevertheless nodded. “Agreed.”
He refused to leave until Jennifer returned and another bodyguard had been called to watch Lina’s friend’s building.
It was all Lina could do to keep it together in front of him. The only way she could even remotely manage the pain was to pretend he wasn’t there and pretend her mother was. It would probably seem childish to someone else, but Lina had never cried in front of her mother—at least in her memory.
The mere thought of her mother witnessing her ignomious rejection was enough to keep external tears at bay. It didn’t decrease her emotional agony, though. In fact, the idea that her mother might be aware of Sebastian’s employment and the nature of his cover for a way into her life intensified Lina’s sense of utter betrayal. She might not be crying on the outside, but her heart was crying tears of blood.
Lina’s bungee cord bottomed out and her hands brushed the water before the ricochet snapped her up again. She flipped her torso up and started undoing her harness before the final bouncing stopped. Diving into the water on the next downward plunge, she immediately started swimming for shore. She couldn’t believe Sebastian was back.
He was no longer simply the hands-on owner of the largest detective and security agency in the world, but ran his deceased father’s business holdings as well. Not to mention chairing multiple nonprofit boards. She had a hard time comprehending that even her father had the power to command the personal attention of business tycoon Sebastian Hawk on a case.
