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She’d always kind of thought that if she ever fell in love again, not that she really wanted to—the whole pain and betrayal thing had really soured her on the concept—but that she would be as turned on by whoever she loved as she was by Sebastian.
Now, she wondered if her unresolved attraction to Sebastian was actually blocking her from feeling anything physical or emotional for another man. Her memories of the pleasure she’d experienced with him were all wrapped up in an uncomfortable shame she’d stuffed deep inside rather than deal with. The first time at the lake, she’d been so wanton in her response that she had not even realized that Bob had come up on them. Even her doctor hadn’t seen her completely since she was a very tiny child. The thought that Bob had almost seen her s exposed had been extremely disconcerting.
In fact, it still was.
Then the night she learned of Sebastian’s betrayal forever linked sensual pleasure with emotional pain and why hadn’t she seen that before?
Because she hadn’t cared enough to analyze; because she’d been safer avoiding any sort of intimacy in her life. Her parents’ rejection had hurt her more deeply than they could possibly understand. Sebastian’s had simply confirmed to her battered heart that it was better off lonely than taking a risk on allowing someone else to hurt her the same way.
How ridiculous that she had allowed the very people she did not want influencing her having more sway over her actions and feelings than anyone else.
This had to be changed.
Again, she wondered how to do that. She couldn’t do much about the love thing right now since there was no one in her life she was even close to having that kind of attachment to. But her ability to embrace her physical nature was something else.
If she with Sebastian, losing the last vestiges of her innocence and ity, wouldn’t that break through whatever mental barrier had been holding her back since she was nineteen? It had to.
She knew Sebastian wanted her and that made her feel for the first time in a long time. The only question was: how did she get Sebastian to have conjugal relations with her when they were at odds more than anything else?
She could try seducing him, but that hadn’t worked the first time around. It had only taken a single phone call to derail her plans as well as what she’d thought was their relationship. Besides, she wasn’t super fond of subtle manipulations. She’d much rather be up-front about what she wanted. She refused to play the games of deception that Sebastian now said he was sorry for.
She turned the problem over in her mind until a decent plan began to form.
Hawk disconnected the call with his istant and put his computer into standby. It had been three hours since his confrontation with Lina in the bathroom. The house alarm was still on, so he had left her to her own devices while he caught up on work. Staying out of physical proximity was the safest course of action, but breakfast would be delivered soon and he had to disarm the security system to let them in.
That required being in visually confirming distance of Lina’s presence. She hadn’t acted like she was getting set to run again, but then she was too smart to telegraph her intentions that way.
And after what had happened before his shower, he had to acknowledge that he had no clue what she was thinking.
He would never have expected her to touch him like she had. Unwelcome arousal and pleasure poured through him at the memory. He had never been so close to coming from a single touch in his life. Hell, he’d almost ed from the way she was looking at him. He’d wanted to kiss her so bad; he’d almost given into her soft order. Only a last remnant of sanity had stopped him. But, man, had he pissed her off when he’d said she belonged to the sheikh.
However, her reaction had not shocked him nearly as much as his own. As he’d said the words, they left an acidic burn in his mouth. Her fury was nothing compared to the urge he’d had to hurt someone. Namely Sheikh Amir bin Faruq al Zorha, the man Lina’s father had contracted for her to marry.
He should never have taken this job on. Lina had rocked his world right off its axis eight years ago and it was happening all over again. The situation certainly wreaked havoc on one of his most closely held beliefs. That Sebastian Hawk did not have a heart and if he did, it certainly wasn’t going to get wrapped up in a woman’s wiles.
Hawk knocked on Lina’s door, but got no response. He called her name, but that elicited no response, either, so he opened the door, hoping he would not find her in the process of changing. But the room was empty. He didn’t find her in the game room, either. Since he’d come from the office, he umed she must be on the lower level and went downstairs to find her. After searching the ground floor rooms and calling her name twice, his tension level had racked up to dangerous levels. Lina was not a housebreaker; she did not have the technical knowledge to bypass the alarm system. At least her file had said she didn’t, but then her file eight years ago had neglected to mention her interest and proficiency in kayaking.
The garage was empty but for his rental car. Where was she?
He opened a door he had umed the night before belonged to a closet, only to discover that the house had more amenities than he’d realized. Lina was relaxing in a bubbling spa, listening to an MP3 player. Her eyes were closed and she was leaning back, exposing the delectable column of her neck. Her swimsuit clad s were mostly hidden by the churning hot water, but he could see enough of the upper swell to make his mouth water for a taste and his libido go zing.
He walked around the circular, recessed hot tub and laid his hand on her shoulder.
Her eyes opened slowly and a smile that could be labeled nothing short of sensuous curved her lips. “Hello, Sebastian.”
He gently tugged the speaker bud from her left ear. “Breakfast will be here soon.”
“Oh, are we having it delivered?”
“I’m not the cook you are.”
That smile flashed across her lips again. “I would be surprised to find out you could cook at all.”
“I can keep myself from starving, but that’s about it.”
“I guess it’s a good thing you’re a millionaire so many times over, then. You can afford to have all your meals catered.”
“I have a housekeeper in New York.”
“I’m not surprised.”
“I was surprised to discover that you’ve been living by yourself for the last four years.”
“As alone as I could get with a security detail monitoring me 24/7.”
“It was a clever setup, actually.”
“It was the best I could do to ensure a measure of privacy and maintain the level of security my father’s advisors recommended.”
“You designed the security plan?”
“Yes. I researched and found the American security company as well.”
“I’m impressed.” And he was. She’d arranged to have a physical bodyguard watch her whenever she left her apartment, but when she was home she was monitored by less intrusive video surveillance. Her security team maintained an apartment in her building so they were on the spot without actually being in her face.
The setup would not have worked if she had an active social life, but according to her file, she didn’t. She dated so rarely that even her father wasn’t worried about her getting involved with an inappropriate man. Of course, the king was totally clueless about Hawk’s attraction to and for Lina.
Her volunteering was as scheduled as her hours at work. Basically she’d been living as regimented a life as her parents could wish.
“Why are you so against marrying the sheikh?” he blurted out, but wanted the answer enough not to retract the question.
She ed her brow in question.
“Your life is not exactly a hotbed of different experiences and experimentations. You would have more freedom married to your father’s choice.”
“Freedom to do what was expected of me. My life may not seem all that exciting to you, but I spend it doing what is important to me. I love my job and the time I spend volunteering. It’s fulfilling.”
“You could do similar things as the sheikh’s wife.”
“Right. I want to spend my life doing, not making politically expedient visits to visible charities so that I am a credit to my husband.”
The doorbell rang and Hawk straightened. “That’s breakfast. I’ll let them in. Meet me in the dining room?”
“Okay. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
The sound of her stepping out of the hot tub followed him out of the room. He ached to turn around and see her in the revealing swimsuit, but he knew his willpower was not up to that kind of temptation.
CHAPTER NINE
LINA walked into the dining room wearing a short T-shirt that did nothing to hide either her gorgeous curves or the fact that she still wore her swimsuit. Revealing a slice of honey-colored skin, the hem didn’t even reach the top of her bikini bottoms.
