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“Alex? Are you...do you want to...”
For a crushing moment she thought he was going to leave. But then he shifted and she heard a zipper.
When he mounted her, the blunt feel of him brushing against her core made her dizzy, and her whole body tingled with anticipation. He entered her slowly, inching inside, a thick presence that took up all her inner space. When their h*ps met, he paused.
His body trembled so badly, the bed frame rattled.“Alex? Are you okay?”
His arms came around her as he buried his head in her neck. He pulled back and then gently slid inside again.
She latched on to his shoulders, holding on tight, as sensation built inside of her again. The feel of him was in?credible, his heavy weight, that hard length, his slow, flowing movements.
But then he stopped, and withdrew abruptly.
He got off the bed and turned away, doing up his pants.
Seeing him fully clothed while she was n**ed kicked off a cold tidal wave in her veins and illuminated some par?ticulars that she'd missed.
He hadn't kissed her. He hadn't even been n**ed with her. And he hadn't been able to finish.
Cassandra was dressed and out the door in a minute and a half.
The fact that he didn't stop her, didn't say a word, wasn't a surprise. He hadn't talked to her during the sex, either. Except for that clinical safety conversation.
Had they even had sex?
She ran to the Range Rover, fired the thing up and threw it in reverse. As she hit the gas, she realized she'd left her cell phone and clipboard in the shop.
Yeah, like she was going back in there tonight.
As the Rover's headlights swung around, they pierced the picture window. Alex was sitting at the desk, head in his hands.
He looked as if he were...sobbing.
She was so struck by his utter dejection, her foot eased up on the gas.
But then it hit her.
Of course he feels awful, she thought.
He'd just cheated on his Miracle woman, the one he loved, hadn't he?
Alex didn't know how long he sat in the chair, blinking back tears he refused to let fall.
Crying wasn't only a worthless thing to do. It was another kind of self-serving release he refused to let himself have.
Oh, God...had that really just happened? Had he truly done that to her?
Yes, he thought. He could still smell her glorious pas?sion on him.
It had been so wrong of him. And felt so perfect.
Her body was even more beautiful than his dreams had made it out to be, and her skin was even softer, especially where her hot secrets were kept. When she'd flown apart in his arms, he'd watched her with greed, thinking this was what he had always wanted. His name coming out of her lips because of what he was doing to her.
For those few moments he'd joined them, he'd known paradise. She was so very tight that every stroke had been a revelation of ecstasy, like nothing he'd ever had, nothing he'd find again. Pulling back from her had nearly killed him. He'd been right in the very beginnings of a shattering release, the pulses just starting to take his breath away, when he'd stopped.
Because how could he empty himself into her body, knowing what he did? It would be tantamount to violating her, because she would deny him if she knew the truth.
From somewhere in the shop, a cell phone rang. The tone wasn't his.
He looked up. She'd left hers behind. Forgotten it along with the clipboard in her rush to leave.
Dear Lord, what she must think of him. And how she must feel, to have been left on the bed like that. He should do something.
Except, what were his options? What could he say to her to make things better?
I stopped because you deserve so much better than a savage like me coming inside of you.
The phone fell silent, only to ring again. On the fourth round of chiming, he went over and flipped it open.
Before he could say a word, a male voice blasted into his ear.
“Cass, what's wrong? That message you just left sounded damned scary”
O'Banyon.
Alex went cold.
“Hello?” O'Banyon said.
“She's at Gray's.”
There was a long silence and then that male voice dropped down a register. “Why do you have Cass's phone, Moorehouse?”
“She left it at the site.” Which was technically true. “Do you have Gray's number?”
“Do you know why she was crying tonight?” Ah...hell. Alex dragged a hand through his hair. “What the hell did you do to her?” O'Banyon snarled. “Do you have Gray's number?”
“So help me God, Moorehouse, I'm not going to allow you to grind her up. I'll come north tonight and drag her back to Manhattan if I have to.”
"Suit yourself, O'Banyon. I won't stand in your way. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to hang up on you and turn this phone off. Your voice in my ear is nothing I want to fall asleep to."
After he'd shut the cell down, Alex went straight for the scotch bottle and poured himself a tall one. He was halfway through it when he picked up his phone and called Spike.
“Hey, man, what's doing?” the guy said.
“I need a favor.”
“Anything”
“Could you come by tomorrow morning early? Cas?sandra left her cell phone and her clipboard at the site. She's leaving to go back to the city and she'll want to take them with her.”
“No problem. But why can't she just pick them up herself on the way out of town?”
“She's not going to want to be here for a little while.” Alex took a long drink. The scotch burned its way down to his gut.
“Why?”
“You ever done something you wished you could undo?” Spike laughed softly. “You better believe it.”
“Well, she's done something she wishes she hadn't, you know what I mean? I want to make it easy for her.”
There was a long pause. “So it's like that, is it?”
Alex finished the glass. “Yeah. And then some.”
Spike let out a long exhale. “I'll see you bright and early in the a.m.”
“Thanks.”
Alex put the glass down and eyed the bed. He stripped naked, letting his clothes fall where they chose to, and threw back the sheets and blankets. As he stretched out, he could smell her scent on his pillow.
Chapter Ten
On New Year's Eve, Cass hit the directional signal and eased the Range Rover off the Northway and onto the Saranac Lake exit. Her time away from White Caps had gone by fast, but it had done her some good. When she'd left before Christmas, she'd been raw. Now she was just bruised.
“So, Cass, tomorrow's your birthday, isn't it?” Sean said, glancing across the seats. “New Year's Day.”
Sean had proved to be a godsend over the holidays. He'd insisted she come to his place for all of Christmas day. His brother, Billy, had been there as well, visiting from their hometown of Boston, and the three of them had had a great time. Billy was a linebacker for the New England Patriots, and considering his size, he no doubt lived up to his nickname of Boneyard on the field. But around her he'd been a total gentleman.
And so had Sean.
“Cass?”
She smiled. “Yes, I'll be thirty-one tomorrow.”
As they passed by the stone pillars that marked the White Caps driveway, her eyes lingered on them.
Sean cleared his throat. “Why won't you tell me what happened that night you called me?”
“Oh, it was nothing. I was just a little emotional.” “Over Moorehouse.”
“Sean—”
“I talked to him.”
Cass's head whipped around so fast the car wobbled in their lane. `Alex?"
“None other. I called you on your cell first. Eventually he answered it.”
“What did he say?”
“Not much. But his tone of voice had been exactly like yours.”
Yeah, well, regret sounded the same, no matter whose mouth it was coming out of.
“Sean, I'm telling you, everything is fine.”
There was a pause. And then he said, “You and I are getting close. Right?”
She smiled. “You're a good friend.”
“Damn straight. And I'd like to be more, except I know you don't feel that way about me.”
“Oh, Sean—”
“Nah, don't apologize for it. It's better this way. I've got plenty of lovers, but I've never actually had a girl?friend before. Anyway, my point is, don't lie to me. You shouldn't have to, and frankly I take it as an insult.”
“Honestly, there's nothing going on.”Sean let out a disgusted noise, but he let the fib stand.
Cass pulled into Gray's driveway. There were ten or so cars parked around the gravel circle and she was forced to take a spot right in front of the door. Lights glowed in the mansion's diamond paned windows, and she could see people moving inside. She wondered which of the shadows was Alex's.
She really didn't feel up to the house party. Or being under the same roof with him again.
She turned off the engine and glanced at Sean. His hazel eyes were shrewd but warm. And that stare of his was seeing all the things she'd tried to hide behind makeup and haute couture.
“Cass, you should stay away from Moorehouse. That `nothing' with him is killing you.”
Sean really didn't miss much, did he?
And he truly was handsome, she thought, in a tough kind of way. Sure, his clothes were civilized; the black suit and the icy-white button-down and the red tie were very Wall Street/old school banker. But with his midnight hair and his hard jaw, his wide shoulders and long legs, Sean O'Banyon was all hot-blooded man underneath the gloss.
She took a deep breath.
He smelled good, too. Expensive cologne.
He was also uncomplicated. With him there was no baggage. No awkwardness. No on-the-ledge, about-to-fall?off feeling.
“Why can't I be attracted to you?” she wondered aloud. His eyes flared. “Well...you could give me a try. You know, find out.”
Cass focused on his lips. They were beautifully made and a perfect deep pink color. As they parted a little, she caught the bright flash of his front teeth.
“If you want to kiss me,” he said quietly, “I'm more than ready for it.”
Lord help her, she leaned into him, tilted her head to the side and pressed her mouth to his.
She felt the rush of his breath going in fast, heard the hissing sound as it shot into his lungs. His body went rigid and shifted, as if he'd pushed his arms into the leather seat.
She stroked his mouth a few times for good measure, trying to feel something, anything.
But it was pleasant. Nothing more. Not what it had been like with Alex. Cass pulled back.
Oh, what did she know? Alex had never actually put his mouth on hers.
Sean cleared his throat. “You really know how to kiss, woman. I can't feel my toes.”
She laughed, appreciating his attempt to lighten things up. But when she looked at him, his stare was dead serious.
“You make me wish I were the man you really wanted” He opened the car door. “Moorehouse is a fool.”
Alex stared out of the window in the living room, watching Cassandra kiss O'Banyon. The man was totally turned on; it was obvious in the way his eyes were shut and his body braced.
Alex glanced down at the floor, expecting to find his internal organs on it.
“Here's your drink, Moorehouse,” Gray said. “What are you staring at—hey! Cass and SOB are here. Excellent.” Bennett took off for the front door.
Alex tossed the scotch back. Then tortured himself by
looking toward the foyer and waiting for the happy couple to come inside.
It seemed appropriate that a chilling breeze followed them into the house.
Oh, terrific, the guy was carrying her. And not in a big hurry to put her down as their hosts came up to greet them.
