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“Excuse me?” I said, my voice ice to cover the way I could feel the ground slipping away from under me.
“What, you didn’t think Knox hired you on merit, did you?” Harry asked with a sneer. “He just wanted to hit that as**s. Same as Mr. Avery. That’s how you got this job in the first place, or did you not notice that all the other interns were dudes? Wasn’t much to choose from, truth be told.”
“What? That is not true. I got this job on my own merits—” I sputtered.
“That your nickname for your boobs?” Harry interrupted.
The Douchebros gave him high fives.
“You—are—pathetic,” I gritted out between clenched teeth. “You are a pathetic little baby hiding in a man’s body and shouting at the world because you’re terrified it doesn’t care about you, and you know what? You’re right. It doesn’t. No one cares about you at all, Harry, and no one ever will.”
I stormed off, refusing to let the tears surface. So what if Harry and the Douchebros thought that? So what if everyone thought that? So what if I was so devastated that I felt like I was cracked apart inside, like I was going to fall into a thousand pieces? I wasn’t. I couldn’t. Not yet, not out here in the open.
I had to find Hunter.
#
“Ally, what’s wrong?”
I had thought my emotions were well-disguised, but one look at my face and Hunter had made his excuses to the board members and allowed me to pull him away to the gazebo for a private talk. I tried to still my trembling hands, tried to keep tears from leaking out where they’d blur my mascara, where they’d let Hunter dismiss what I was saying. I could still hear the Douchebros’ accusations ringing in my ears.
“I’ve been indecisive,” I said hurriedly. “I’ve been saying things, and then doing different things, and it’s not right and it’s not fair to you, and—Hunter, I can’t keep doing this. I’ve worked too hard; I can’t afford to let myself get the reputation of—of a—”
My voice broke. Hunter tried to lay a comforting arm on my shoulder, but I pulled back as if his hand were a red-hot brand.
“I…see,” Hunter said slowly. “Well, I certainly wouldn’t want my actions to hurt your career. But Ally—we’ve been discreet. And it’s the twenty-first century, I don’t think people are as judgmental as you’re afraid they are—”
“Of course they are!” I said. “People are already noticing, that’s why we’ve got to put a stop to it as quick as we can, before things get too out of hand—”
Hunter was shaking his head at me, a frown tight across his lips, refusing to go along with what I was saying or even try to understand where I was coming from.
Why was he stonewalling me like this? Couldn’t he see how much it was hurting me just to say this; couldn’t he have any mercy?
“Ally, just stop, listen to yourself.” His expression grew hard as he cut me off. “Now look, if someone has been spreading rumors, I can…”
“No, no!” The last thing I needed was Hunter charging in like a white knight and confirming everyone’s opinion that we were sleeping together. “It’s just…this is really for the best. This has to end.”
“Oh really?” he said, crossing his arms. “That doesn’t sound like you at all. Someone is spreading rumors, aren’t they? It’s those as**sholes you work with!”
“What does it matter who it is?” I snapped, throwing up my hands. “The fact is that it’s happening! And I can’t afford to have people think that I’m some kind of—”
“What do you care what those jerks think?” he said, taking a step towards me, his hand reaching for my shoulder as if to pull me into his line of thinking.
I almost let him. I wanted so badly to be told that I could have everything I wanted, that everything would turn out fine, that we could live happily ever after.
But I knew we couldn’t. I pulled away from his touch as if his hand were a snake.
The hurt on his face couldn’t have been greater if I had slapped him. It was followed quickly by fury. He took another stride closer; I could feel his body trembling with suppressed anger, I could feel heat radiating off him. “Is what we have so fragile that you’re going to go running from the first sign of trouble? I thought you were better than that. I thought you were strong enough to stand on your own, not be influenced by the opinions of men you don’t even like.”
I clenched my fist before my hand could rise up and slap him. Was he really so blind? Couldn’t he see how different it was for him? A man could di**ck around all he wanted and no one looked twice. A woman made one mistake, and her career was done forever.
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