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“Thank you,” she whispered, reaching out to rub his cheek. “I’d forgotten how wonderful that feels.”
Dylan opened his mouth to reply. At this point in their love-making, he’d always told her he loved her. But today he couldn’t. So instead he said, “You’re as beautiful as ever, Sarah.”
She smiled, happy with that. This reunion couldn’t go anywhere – they were too different, and besides, Dylan was only in London temporarily to take care of Grafton Techs. But for now she could pretend. So she kissed him on the lips and snuggled into his strong arms, wondering how long it might be before he’d be ready for another ‘one last time’.
Chapter Four
The sun shone tranquilly through the gap in the velvet drapes, caressing Sarah into a warm wakefulness. As her mind drifted back to the room, she realised that her body felt light, and… what was that unfamiliar sensation? She chuckled. Oh yeah, it was happiness. She was happy for the first time in… years probably. She smiled as she woke up fully and remembered that her soft pillow right now was Dylan’s downy chest. Her naked body felt secure wrapped in his strong arms, and the birds outside were singing sweetly. She could tell it was going to be another scorcher in London… or in wherever she currently was.
She sighed snoozily as she listened to Dylan’s breathing, enjoying the sensation of her head gently rising and falling on his toned pecs. It was tempting to wake him up and make love again, but she knew that would be awkward. It was time to say goodbye for real now. She had a hotel to run.
Sarah eased herself out from his loving arms and dressed quietly, trying not to wake him. He looked so peaceful, sleeping on the leather couch in a sunbeam. A pang of gloomy regret stabbed her. Why was she leaving him again? But she had no choice. They’d missed their chance to be together; it was too late. They’d both changed too much. Sarah smiled sadly, as she pulled on her suit jacket and gazed down at her first love. He was gorgeous and her heart was screaming at her not to walk out. The sex had been the best she’d had in years. The best since she’d last been with Dylan in fact. But Sarah knew adult life consisted of much more than sex with hot men. She needed to be sensible; to think with her head, not her heart. And what about all this involvement with Russian gangsters? Maybe life was boring without Dylan in it, but at least she was safe in her little bubble. No heartache. She was queen of her court at the hotel. She wasn’t accountable to anyone, and that was perfect.
So why was she still standing here watching him sleep? Why was it that ever since she’d returned to London seven years ago, she’d been pining for him. And why was she about to run out on him?
Again.
That last time she’d said goodbye to Dylan had been agonising...
The airport departures lobby on that dreaded day had been stark and shiny – a representation of how Sarah was feeling. Empty and hollow; stuffy and stifled. She hardly noticed the bustle of excited tourists and stressed-out businesspeople as she loitered near passport control, gazing mournfully into the eyes of her true love. Knowing she had to leave.
It was a warm spring day, and she’d recently completed her final exams, so she and Dylan had planned to celebrate by spending a couple of weeks making love on the beach before moving in together and starting their respective internships. But the news of her father’s death had come as a devastating blow – the worst news she could’ve ever received. Not actually because her dad was gone per se– in fact, both of Sarah’s parents had been over forty when she’d been born, so it had always been on the cards. But her devastation was due to the fact that it was now her responsibility to take over the family business and ensure that her sick mother was cared for. The family business was a shitty little hotel in a suburb of London, which had never done very well, but had always ticked over. And now it was Sarah’s problem. Sarah resented being wrenched away from Berkeley – and from her lover – to return to grey England to work sixty-hour weeks, so she could keep her head above water and give her mother some comfort in her winter years.
She’d been tempted to stay with Dylan, but he’d insisted she leave. The ultimate sacrifice….
The muffled announcement informed Sarah that her gate was open.
She buried herself in Dylan’s arms. “I can’t bear to leave you. Please… maybe we can find a way to make this work.”
He held her tight. “Your place is in London now, my love, we both know that. Your mother needs you; the family business needs you. You’re too young to be tied to me.”
She balled his T-shirt in her fists, staring desperately into his eyes. “Come with me.”
He shook his head, hardening himself. “If I turn down that internship before I even start my career, my reputation will be in ruins. It’ll take me forever to recover.” He cupped her tear-stained chin in his strong hand. “It’s breaking my heart too, baby, but we’ve both committed to things that are much bigger and much more important than us.”
Sarah nodded, knowing he was right. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, sweetheart. But our love isn’t enough – you know that. I can’t be selfish and ask you to stay here with me. If you don’t go back to help your mother now, you’ll regret it. She’s an older lady… she needs you more than I do.”
Sarah swallowed the piercing pain in her throat. “You’ll be with me always.”
“I’ll always love you, Sarah. Always.”
The sound of an urgent last-call for her flight snapped Sarah’s heart in two. She crumpled in his arms and sobbed against his T-shirt.
He hugged her tightly for a few glorious yet agonizing seconds, then he stepped away. “Go now, Sarah. Don’t look back. Forget me. And I’ll forget you.”
****
As soon as Sarah’s mother had died three years later, she’d sold the failing hotel and moved to London, where she’d easily fallen into her current role. The owner had snapped her up, thanks to her experience and hard-working ethics. Then she’d thrown herself into her job, to smother the heartache of losing her parents… and Dylan.
Sarah sat in the taxi now, gazing out of the window as the sun rose over London. He’d said back then that she’d regret it if she stayed with him and abandoned her mother. And of course, he was right. But every day since then, she’d regretted leaving him. And here she was, leaving him again. And she knew it was for the last time. Dylan wasn’t the sort of man who you walked out on twice. He wouldn’t come chasing after her – he hadn’t before, so why would
he now? But it was surely for the best. She had her own life now, and he had his.
And he was mixed up with Russians and soccer clubs. Sarah sighed. She wanted an easy life… But actually more than that, she wanted Dylan to turn up at the hotel later, throw her over his shoulder, and carry her off to the honeymoon suite to make love to her all day.
And she wanted for them to be together forever.
