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“Don’t worry. Like I said, it was a no-go, but . . .” she hung on to that one syllable like she was humming the alphabet.
“But what?”
“We did our own version.”
“What do you mean?” My blood pressure was rising.
Grandma shifted her rainboot clad feet. Not sure she was one to really give fashion advice. “We threw away your clothes. Dani and Kinsley should be filling your closet now with a shiny new wardrobe.”
I couldn’t believe this. I threw my arms out and knocked over the picture of Jonah. Could this day get any worse? Flustered, I tried to get the picture back on the easel but ended up knocking that over too. It clanged hard against the tile floor, making everyone in the lobby stop and stare at me.
I got the easel up but was so shaky I dropped the picture twice before it stayed put. But even then, it was crooked. “I’m leaving.”
Grandma reached for my hand. “Please don’t. He really wants to see you.”
I stopped, my heart in my throat. “I can’t believe you did this.” I had to hold back my tears. I wasn’t ready to see him. I didn’t want to see him. That was a lie.
I couldn’t afford to see him. That was the truth.
“Why is this rattling you so much? I thought you said you were only friends,” she taunted me.
“Don’t pretend that you don’t know that he asked me to marry him.” I was sure Dani and Kinsley had filled her in on that tidbit.
“You should stop pretending that you don’t have feelings for him,” her voice was filled with tenderness, “and that you don’t regret you said no.”
A tear escaped and ran down my cheek. I couldn’t look her in the eye. “We left things as they should be.”
Grandma rested her hand on my cheek, forcing me to look at her. “My love, if that were true, you wouldn’t be terrified to see him.”
She had a point, but I wasn’t admitting it to her. Especially after all the shenanigans she’d pulled with my ex-best friends.
“You can do this.” She patted my cheek with a grin. “And you never know, maybe he’ll repulse you now and you can thank your lucky stars you didn’t end up with him.”
I stared back at his picture and knew that wouldn’t be the case. But that’s why I had left things as they were. I never wanted to be repulsed by him. Unrequited love was better than a love that had died.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Grandma interrupted my thoughts, “and yes, Ariana, there would have been times that you woke up in the morning and stared at him lying next to you snoring and reeking of the onions he ate the night before. And you would have wondered how you could have ever fallen in love with him. But . . .”
I turned from staring at Jonah’s picture and faced her.
“But, on the other side of those feelings you would have found a deeper, more passionate love than you could have ever imagined. The only way to get that love is to endure the hard times, the times you don’t feel like you love him. Choosing to love and stay in love is far more rewarding than falling in love. Remember that. Now let’s go.”
I didn’t want to let her words sink in. I felt too much truth in them on the surface. Enough for them to make my insides squirm.
“Just so you know, this doesn’t mean I’m changing my mind.” Yes, be defiant, I told myself. “I’m only doing this because I’m a mature adult, and I’m going to ask Jonah about what it will take for me to get you deemed mentally incompetent and committed.” I smirked.
“Kiddo, if that’s what it would take for you to see how misguided you’ve been, I’d check myself in this minute.”
Oh. I wasn’t expecting that. I expected sarcasm. My eyes watered. “I love you,” was all I could say.
“I love you more. Now let’s get your cute butt in there. It’s nice to see it again, by the way.”
I let out a deep breath and took her arm. Maybe I was an adult, but I needed someone to hold on to.
We walked across the lobby, Grandma pulling me along to the door that led to the waiting area. While Grandma checked in, I texted Dani and Kinsley. You are both dead to me. I couldn’t believe they had been conspiring against me. P.S. If you threw away my Hold On, Let Me Overthink This sweatshirt, payback will be hell.
The brats texted me back with pictures of my closet full of, I hated to admit, beautiful clothing. Everything from jeans and sweaters to slacks and dresses. They all looked formfitting and expensive. Definitely not my usual Wal-Mart sale items. Grandma must have done a lot of bartering with Shelby. It made me feel guilty. But that feeling was quickly replaced with ire when I received a series of pictures of them gleefully cutting my sweatshirts into several pieces and tossing them into the garbage.
