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I’d never imagined living in such a nice home, unless you counted when I’d thought my father was a prince and would come and take me away to his castle. But aside from that, I’d only ever wanted a small place to call mine. Jonah’s home was anything but small. An L-shaped staircase led to the upstairs, where I bet there were at least five bedrooms. I’m not sure why he thought he needed all the room. Maybe he was still serious about having five kids. Nine years ago, that had been his plan. I used to tease him about it, but secretly I wanted to be the mommy of those babies.
I still did, but I needed to work through my past, if I could. It was why I was sitting here. Before Jonah had dropped me off at home, he’d convinced me to follow him back here. He said it would be quieter here and we would have more privacy for me to work through my issues. That was true, considering Dani was having a guy friend over in her feeble attempt to pretend she didn’t need or want Brock.
I stared into the fireplace, mesmerized by the flames. I knew soon I would be feeling as if I had jumped into them. Dr. Morales, and even Jonah, assured me I would feel better once I allowed myself to feel the pain and let it go. But I couldn’t see how that was true. I’d been feeling the pain for years. I’d felt like I’d already walked through the flames and there was no salve strong enough to repair the scars. But I would try. I promised myself I would.
Jonah jumped over the back of the couch like he was twelve and landed next to me, making me jump. He wasted no time pulling me into his arms, and there I found myself with my head resting on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart.
“How’s Whitney?” I asked. She was somewhat distraught over not getting her ears pierced. She wanted to so bad, but just couldn’t do it.
“She’s okay. She made some big steps today, thanks to you.”
“I didn’t do much.”
“Are you kidding? You spent your entire day with her, not to mention you helped her make a friend. And you tricked me into getting my ear pierced,” he growled. “I think I’m going to take it out.”
I sat up out of his arms. “Don’t you dare. Deep down she wants to get her ears pierced, so you have to keep it. Besides, I love it.”
He tugged on my sweater and pulled me closer. “Do you now?”
I reached up and touched his earring. “It’s very sexy. Now you just need a sleeve tattoo and I’ll never keep my hands off you.”
“Is that a promise?” He skimmed my lips.
“We both know you’ll never get one,” I whispered above his lips.
“Did you ever think I would get my ear pierced?”
“No.” I laughed.
“You think you’re funny.” His lips teased my own.
“I think I’m hilarious.”
He took me into his arms, then his lips came crashing down on mine. For a moment I gave in and parted his lips. I missed the taste of Skittles and him. Always him. But I pulled back before I got swept away and lost my nerve to do what I needed to do.
“Jonah.” I placed my hands on his scruffy cheeks. “I want nothing more than to kiss you all night, but you need to know everything about me, and I need to let you.” Tears filled my eyes.
He kissed the corner of my eye. “I know all I need to know, but I’m here for you.”
I slid off his lap and sat next to him. He offered me his hand and I gladly took it.
“I don’t even know where to begin.”
“Why don’t you start slow. Rate your experiences by pain levels and start with a lower level.”
He sounded like a therapist, which made sense considering he was a doctor and had taken several psychology classes. I even remembered him doing his clinical rotations in the psychiatric unit at the hospital.
“Okay,” I breathed out. I looked around the darkened house. Something hit me and triggered my own bad memories. “You don’t have a Christmas tree. Or stockings.”
Jonah let go of my hand and leaned forward, resting his arms on his legs. He stared out into the fire. “Eliza didn’t believe it was good to fill Whitney’s head full of fairytales and commercialized holiday nonsense. She believed in giving Whitney experiences. We always took a trip during the holidays.”
“Are you this year?”
“No. I wanted to be here for the holidays. For obvious reasons.” He nudged me. “Eliza will be joining us.”
“Will she be staying here?” I wasn’t sure that came out as nonchalant as I wanted it to.
