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I believed that lie until I was twenty-two.
Then I met Kaden, the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. He had been on an awkward blind date taking one of the mini mosaic classes I taught at the glass art studio. Kaden flirted with me while I was showing him and his date how to properly grout. I tried not to encourage the flirting, even though his date did seem disinterested in him and spoke more to her friend they were double-dating with. It should have been a warning to me, but I was overly confident and naïve. When he came back that night while I was closing and asked for my number, I gave it to him.
Mom was sticking to her mantra that all men were the spawn of Satan. By that time, she had become a popular indie artist in the area. She had leased the space next to the glass art studio where she opened her own gallery. Our lives were so entangled back then, there was no way to keep her from knowing about my man-loving ways. Besides, I didn’t like lying to her, or anyone for that matter. I was going to prove to her that there were still good men and that I could make good choices.
From day one, though, she hated Kaden. Before we parted that night, she said, “Watch your step with that one. He has dark eyes.”
I wanted to respond, “I know, aren’t they beautiful? Like deep, dark chocolate.” Instead I said, “I promise I’ll be careful. Besides, it’s only one date.” Mom had shaken her head at me, walked out, and slammed the door.
That one date led to spending every waking minute we could together between my job at the studio and his as a construction foreman for a housing development in nearby Edenvale. I’d thought we were made for each other. We were both spontaneous and loved adventure. It was nothing for us to decide on a whim Sunday morning to go rock climbing or sign up for scuba diving lessons.
We were head over heels in love. I didn’t care that Dani, who had become one of my best friends despite her being my “aunt,” began to question Kaden’s and my relationship. Even Kinsley, who was only fifteen at the time, expressed her concerns. They said he was too perfect. I knew he was. That’s what made him so great. And it was why, when we had only been dating for six months and he asked me to marry him, I said yes. Mom had cried and painted a gruesome picture of a white wedding dress with a knife shoved in the bodice, dripping with blood. She displayed it proudly in her gallery until some jilted woman bought it. Unfortunately, that painting foreshadowed things to come.
After Kaden and I were engaged, the construction company he worked for got a contract for a large development in Denver, four hours away, which meant he was gone during the week and would come home on the weekends when he could. At first, we tried to talk every day, but then he had less and less time. He blamed it on work, but even when he came home, he seemed distracted. He wouldn’t set a wedding date with me. He said he just wanted to wake up one weekend and take me to Vegas, but it would be a surprise. That sounded like my style, so I went with it.
This went on for a few months. That was, until I went to the jewelry store to get my ring sized. Kaden had been promising me he would do it, but I was afraid I would lose the rectangle sapphire ring he’d put on my finger. When I looked back, I would be forever grateful for that stupid ring. It saved me from myself.
I wasn’t the only woman Kaden was engaged to. It was an awkward moment when I went into the jewelry store and they pulled up his file. He had purchased quite a few rings there. Two, most recently—mine and his other fiancée’s. That poor salesclerk about wet her pants when she realized what she had revealed to me. But to this day, I thanked her. I left the ring there and had the jewelry store inform him of the return. What made it worse was Kaden didn’t seem to care. I thought he was madly, deeply in love with me, the way I loved him. But he called to say it was better this way. He said the thought of monogamy frightened him. He didn’t care that he had crushed my soul or made me question every decision I had ever made and everyone’s motives around me.
Mom was downright gleeful about it, which I had to say I resented after all the men and heartbreak she had subjected me to over the years. All I had wanted was a comforting shoulder. My error in judgment had scared me. How could I be so fooled? How had I not learned anything from all the losers my mother had been with? My conclusion was I had no choice but to agree with Mom. Men were nothing but heartache waiting to happen. Unlike her, I didn’t swear off men completely, but I would never let one get close enough to hurt me like Kaden had. Like Roger and an entire slew of men had done to my mother and me.
