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“It can wait.” I spoke close to his ear so he would hear me.
His face pinched while he thought for a moment before unceremoniously standing.
“What are you doing?”
He held his hand out to me. “We’re too important. We aren’t waiting.”
“Don’t you want to watch the show?”
He shook his head, slow and careful, before reaching his hand farther out to me. I took it and he helped me stand and get into my coat, always the gentleman.
We ended up nearby at Sage Café. Jonah wrangled us a corner table near the hearth. It was quiet and cozy. We made small talk before our hot chocolate and brownie sundaes arrived. I figured what I had to say would sound better with chocolate. Wasn’t everything made better by chocolate?
One of the things I loved about Jonah was that he didn’t push. He let me sip my hot chocolate while I contemplated, or more like worked up my courage, to say what I needed to say. This wasn’t exactly my strong suit. I barely admitted my feelings to myself and my goldfish. Goldie honestly was a little put out I didn’t talk to her as much now that Jonah was back in town. I supposed I should quit stalling. But the hot chocolate was amazing. It was dark chocolate with a hint of peppermint and the yummiest whipped cream. I kept telling myself after each sip it would be my last one before I just let it out.
With my last sip, I’d finished the entire cup. I swallowed hard over and over. This was ridiculous. I set my cup down.
Jonah set his spoon in his empty dessert dish. He had polished off his brownie sundae and half of mine. He reached across the table and took my hand.
I looked down at our hands. The way his strong hand enveloped my slender fingers felt indicative of our relationship. I drew some courage from that.
“Today in therapy,” I started, “Dr. Morales said it was important for me to be as honest as possible with you about how I feel.”
“I hope you will be.”
“You say that now.” I gave him a small smile.
He held unnaturally still. I knew I had worried him. I just needed to get this over with and put us both out of our misery. “So, here’s the thing. I’m uncomfortable with Eliza staying with you over Christmas,” I rushed to say.
Immediately Jonah’s tense shoulders relaxed, but in the next second he squinted. “I told you there’s nothing going on between us.”
“That’s not exactly true. You were married, and you share a child. There’s a lot going on between you.”
“Ariana,” he brushed his thumb across my hand, “she stays with us for Whitney’s sake. There’s nothing romantic going on between us.”
“Now. But there was, and feelings like that just don’t go away. She’s admitted to still being in love with you. And look how quickly we rekindled our romance after so many years.”
“That’s different.”
“How?” I used my free hand to pick up my spoon and indulge in what was left of my brownie sundae. Like I said, chocolate made everything better. At least I hoped it would. I shoved a large spoonful of brownie and fudge in my mouth and let it settle my nerves.
Jonah reached across the table and swiped some lingering chocolate off my lips with his finger. I would have been embarrassed except it was him, and when he licked the chocolate off his finger, I had to catch my breath. Dang, that was hot.
“You want to know how it’s different?” he whispered. “What I just did there would have had Eliza scowling at me. You look like you want to crawl over the table and onto my lap.” He was spot on.
“Would you mind?”
He pulled my hand up and kissed my palm, letting his lips linger as if to say he wouldn’t mind at all. He made me wish we were alone so I could curl up on his lap.
He set my hand down but kept ahold of it. “Ariana, the romance between Eliza and me died a long time ago. You and I just paused ours.”
“What if we kill what we have?”
“I knew you were going to say that. But I’m not worried because you’ve never treated me like a business associate, or worse, an employee. You don’t flinch when I touch you because it’s outside of the intimacy schedule you created for us.”
I tilted my head. “Intimacy schedule?”
“She had a schedule for everything,” Jonah lamented.
“Everything?”
“Everything.” He enunciated every syllable.
Yikes.
“You don’t know how wonderful it is when I touch you and you reciprocate, not out of obligation, but because you want me.”
“I do want you,” I easily admitted.
“And you are the only woman I want.”
“Jonah, I understand that, but what if the roles were reversed? How would you like it if my ex was staying with me? Regardless of the circumstances.”
