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“Brock, please don’t make this any harder than it has to be,” I cried. “I don’t have anything to offer you. I feel so dead inside. And I don’t know if I can ever forgive myself for that night with Brant. For all the lies I’ve been telling since then. Our marriage being the biggest lie of them all.”
He let go of my hand and reached for something in his pocket—a small velvet black box. He held it up for me to see. “I bought this before I left for Afghanistan. I happened to walk past that little antique jeweler in downtown Pine Falls. The one who gave a large donation last year for Children to Love. I saw this ring in their window display case. It had your name written all over it. I bought the ring for when I finally worked up the courage to propose to you. My captivity may have made me realize that I was done delaying being with you, and everything that happened with my family may have forced things to happen sooner than they would have, but even before I left, the plan was to have you as my wife.” He opened the box to reveal a beautiful but simple filigree diamond ring in white gold. There was nothing flashy about it, unlike the one John had picked out. No, this was absolutely perfect.
My hand flew to my mouth. I was so overcome, I couldn’t speak.
“Dani, our marriage isn’t a lie. When I gave you my name, I intended for you to keep it. I know I don’t deserve to ask, but please give me some time. Us some time. I know I need help, and I intend to get it. Just don’t give up on us. Please.” He set the ring down and reached into the shower, taking my face in his hands. He pressed a kiss to my mouth, his emotions bleeding into my lips while his tears and the water bathed us both.
So many swirling thoughts and feelings surged through me. It was as if his kiss opened the floodgates. I started to feel. I began grasping for the deadness, yet it was as if Brock was breathing life into me, pushing the darkness away. Still, I feared the hope that trickled in like tiny drops from a leaky faucet—slow, steady, and honestly annoyingly. Hope meant I had to be willing to hurt. I wasn’t sure I could take much more pain. But Brock’s kiss made me feel something else I hadn’t felt in a long time—a sense of belonging. He had owned my heart from day one. He always would. Even so, I still wondered, Could I trust him with it?
“I love you,” he whispered against my mouth before pulling away. He set the open ring box on the edge of the tub. “This is yours whether you stay with me or not. I’m going to go now and give you some time, but know I’m a phone call away anytime you need me, day or night.”
“Where are you going?” I wasn’t sure I wanted him to leave. I was so confused.
“Home to heal. When I’m whole again, I’m going to come calling, just so you know.”
“Is that a warning?”
“That’s a promise.” He stood and walked to the door, only to turn around and smile at me. “I do love you, Dani Holland.” With that, he walked out the door.
Dani Holland. How I had longed to have and cherish that name. For it to truly be mine in every sense of the word. Now I didn’t know how to feel about it. I stared at his ring—my ring. It shone brightly, almost as if it were daring me to accept the possibilities it offered. I looked up to the ceiling. Please, God, tell me what to do. I waited and waited. God’s words never came. Instead, John’s words gratingly rang in my head: “Don’t throw away what you want because it didn’t come to you in the pretty package you wished for.” I didn’t need the pretty package; I just needed to know it was worth it. Were Brock and I worth the fight?Chapter Twenty-TwoShowered and fed, I sat in my bed that night, after my family had finally allowed me to return to my room. They had forced me to mingle among them in the living room during the day. Mostly, it was a lot of sitting on the couch talking to Ariana, Kinsley, and Grandma. They were shocked to learn that Brock and I would be spending some time apart, maybe even permanently. Though they were all confident it would only be temporary. If only they could understand the intricacy of it all. But I couldn’t betray Brant. I feared for him. Regardless, I didn’t know if Brock and I could leave our past behind.
