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He tugged on my hand and led us to the side of the bridge to look over the rails at the massive koi pond surrounded by cherry trees and Japanese maples. It was lovely, even if the humidity was making my hair frizz. Julian kept ahold of my hand, and we interlocked fingers. He smiled at me. “Can I hold your hand, Grace?”
I nodded, feeling a tiny spark. Don’t get me wrong, I was attracted to Julian, but it wasn’t this overwhelming, I-can’t-live-without-you feeling. Not only that, Brooks’s words of warning kept buzzing around in my head. In fact, all of Friday night haunted my thoughts. I had meant for Brooks and me to have some fun together watching an old movie, but it ended up with us mostly staring aimlessly at the screen, hardly saying a word. And the darker it had gotten that night, the more the tension seemed to tighten between us, like we should have been doing what Julian and I were doing now—holding hands and gazing into each other’s eyes. Allowing the sparks to possibly ignite. Brooks’s hand had inched over all night, but each time, he would pull it back. Mine would do the same, as if we were playing some cat-and-mouse game to see who was brave enough to catch the other person’s hand. It had all come to nothing.
“Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” Julian’s voice shook me out of my head.
I peered out over the water and watched the large koi fish swim in circles just beneath the surface. “Nothing is wrong per se, just thinking a lot about my life.”
“Wondering where I fit in?”
I nudged him with my shoulder. “It’s a little early for that, don’t you think?”
“Darlin’, I’m teasing you. I’m just looking to spend some time with a beautiful woman. No strings, no commitments. Is that all right with you?”
Brooks was shouting in my head to say yes to no commitments with Julian. More like he was telling me to run the other direction. But Julian seemed harmless, as long as we kept it no strings attached. And his honesty was kind of refreshing. “Yes, but—”
“There’s always a but, and it’s usually painful.”
“I promise, I’ll only hurt you a little.”
He pulled me closer. “Don’t excite me like that.”
“Behave,” I playfully responded.
His laughter rang through the gardens. “I’ll do my best, but admittedly, you aren’t making that easy.”
Some heat rose to my cheeks.
“Blushing?” He ran the back of his hand down my cheek. “You are adorable, and I think I’ll need to be careful around you.”
A man hadn’t touched me so tenderly in a long time. I found I longed for it. Yet, I wasn’t sure if I should crave Julian’s touch.
“I haven’t gotten to the but yet, so you might want to reserve your judgment.”
He squeezed my hand. “I do like you.”
“I like you too, which is why I wonder how you feel about relationships. Not that I’m looking for one with you.” I made sure to put his mind at ease. Yet, I needed to know if he really did have unhealthy attitudes toward relationships, as Brooks had warned me. Sure, I was all for having some fun, but I was smart enough to know that it wasn’t all fun and games. Anytime men and women mixed, there was the potential for trouble to brew.
“Are you looking for a relationship?” he asked.
“I’m thirty-eight years old, and I’d like to have a baby before I’m a contender for the Guinness World Records’ oldest mother. And I just went on thirty-six blind dates, most of which were either plain awful or laughable. So the answer is yes. I want to be in a relationship.”
I could see his body tense.
“Not with you,” I added.
He cocked his brow. “What, am I not good enough for you?” he teased.
I let go of his hand and shook his shoulders. Nice broad shoulders, I might add. “You said you didn’t want to be in a relationship, and you’re avoiding my question.”
He sighed. “You’re different than I thought you would be.”
“How did you think I would be?”
He pursed his lips together. “Just different,” was all he would own.
“Different in a good way or bad way?”
He leaned in, close enough for me to inhale his minty breath. “Very good.” His eyes drifted toward my lips.
I placed my hand on his chest to make sure he kept his distance. Not to say I wouldn’t ever kiss him, but I needed to be sure about his character. And I worried I would like the way Julian kissed. Confident men tended to innately know how to set your lips on fire and make your head spin. I didn’t need that added confusion right now.
Julian placed his hand over mine, pressing it firmly against his solid chest. Oh, wow, was it hard. Probably not as defined as Brooks’s, but if I was a betting woman, my money would say I would probably drool a little if I saw the doctor shirtless.
