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“Mom,” I whispered into the night air, “should I walk away?” I knew I would have to see him at what were now excruciatingly painful family events. We could become like distant cousins who only caught up when forced to. It would mean me separating our friends and having to make up several atrocious lies about why I was too busy to associate with him. I held my stomach. The thought of severing our connection was like me dumping Betty or cheating on the Doughboy with some no carb diet. What a preposterous thought. But so was pining for my best friend and stepbrother when he obviously wasn’t romantically interested in me. Maybe I should have worn Spanx to the funeral or used waterproof mascara. My hazel raccoon eyes weren’t pretty.
My mind turned to more morbid thoughts as I lay on my mother’s grave. Not sure it got more morbid than that, but I began to imagine my own headstone’s epitaph. Here lies Emma Loveless. Her name says it all. She was a loving daughter and devoted to Poppin’ Fresh, the Doughboy’s proper name. She never met a cookie she didn’t like. Her most notable accomplishment was breaking the world record set for longest living member of the friend zone. I might also add in, Where there is love there is a good chance somewhere else there is a rejected woman eating her feelings.
I needed to write this down and put it in my will.
“Please, Mom, send me a sign. Anything.” I closed my eyes and waited. My phone buzzed in my shorts pocket. Um . . . I sat up a tad unsettled. A text message from heaven? That would be a new one. I carefully took my phone out of my pocket and slowly pulled it up to take a peek. I one-eyed it just in case it was a heavenly message. I let out deep breath when I realized it wasn’t Mom texting from beyond. No, it was the man I was in turmoil over. With both eyes wide open I read what he had to say.
Sawyer: Hey Em, I know that look you get when you are thinking about your mom. I can guess where you are. Tell her hi for me. I’m here if you need to talk. By the way, I left some ice cream in your freezer. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.
I lay back down on the grass with my phone weighing heavily on my chest. Was that a sign or an unfortunate coincidence?Chapter Three“Good morning.” Sawyer’s groggy voice on speaker phone filled my bathroom.
“What are you doing up so early?” I managed to get out between brushing my teeth. “The reminder you set for me hasn’t even gone off.”
“I was worried you would forget your lunch reminder went off and . . . I was worried about you.”
I dropped my toothbrush in the sink and stared into the bathroom mirror. It wasn’t exactly a pretty sight in the morning, unless I had the help of my sisters. Even then, it was subjective. I think I was blushing. I wasn’t sure I ever had.
“Um . . . you’re worried about me?” I tugged on my ponytail. It was about as fancy as I got with my hair.
“Of course, Em, that’s what friends do.”
My reflection snarled back at me. The dreaded F-word had struck again.
“I know how hard this past year has been on you,” he continued, “and we are coming up on the anniversary of your mom’s death. I just want you to know I’m here for you and I’ve been thinking that . . .” He paused for an uncomfortable amount of time.
“Thinking what?”
“I . . . was thinking if you wanted to, we could do something to celebrate your mom. Maybe . . . do . . . a camping trip next weekend since you said she loved it so much.”
Mom did love to camp. She taught us silly songs about yodelers and fried ham to sing around the campfire. And she could make some amazing food over a fire. I would only eat pineapple upside down cake now if it was made in cast iron. But back to camping with Sawyer and blushing.
“Mom would love that. Were you thinking of getting a group together?”
He didn’t answer right away. “We could . . . I mean . . . yes. That’s a great idea.”
“Are you sure?” He wouldn’t want it to be only the two of us, right? Seriously, that would have been like a dream.
“Yeah. Usual suspects?”
That’s what I thought. No dream camping trip. “Okay. I’ll ask Jenna and Brad. I’ll even see if Aspen can come.”
“I’ll talk to my brother and Kellan to see if they’re in.”
“Thanks, Sawyer.”
“Anything for you.”
If that were true, he’d be in my bathroom right now kissing my neck and making me late for work.
