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I thought back to that day and had to smile. I had never done anything like mow a lawn. I was awful at it at first, but thankfully Ryder’s parents had a huge lawn, so by the end—and after a twisted ankle—I could mow straight lines. Ryder and Bobby Jay told me I would have been better off doing it barefoot, but I was out to prove to them I could be stylish doing yardwork. I was ridiculous.
I nudged Bobby Jay. “I’ll have you know I go camping now. Real camping. And no, I don’t bring my heels. I can even pee in the woods.”
Bobby Jay stopped and bent over to laugh. “You’re yanking my chain.”
“I am not.”
Bobby Jay turned around. “Do you hear this, cousin? Our Shelby is peeing in the woods now.”
I wasn’t anyone’s Shelby anymore, but I didn’t voice my dissent. I did find some courage to face Ryder. That was a mistake. Immediately I was caught up in his eyes. They pulled me in like a tractor beam. My heart cried, yearning for him. My soul was so lost it didn’t know what was good for it. It had been for a long time, yet here I was getting lost in those brown eyes that were so unsure of me. We both shook our heads at the same time to break the connection. I spun away from him and headed toward the church, seriously needing some Jesus in my life.
Marlowe, from behind, said, “I thought you said you barely knew her?”
A look passed between me and Bobby Jay that said we wondered how he’d explain that one. Bobby Jay couldn’t help himself, though, and answered, “Oh, he knew her, all right.”
Ryder cleared his throat telling Bobby Jay to shut up. “Does she really camp?” he asked Marlowe instead of answering her.
Marlowe took a second to process that she wasn’t going to get an answer. “Shelby goes camping all the time with my older sister and brother-in-law and their friends. I’m not really into that sort of thing.”
She was trying to impress Ryder. I had news for her: that wouldn’t work. Or maybe it would. Sometimes it still amazed me how we got on so well being so different, but from the beginning it was as if this bridge existed, built by love and respect that connected us. Our differences only made us closer. Like how he taught me how to mow a lawn and I taught him how to follow the stock market and properly wash delicates. While he taught me how to fish, I taught him how to speak Latin. Latin never sounded so Southern and charming. And those fishing trips were always multicultural affairs. After Latin lessons I would get a lesson in French. French kissing, that was. Mylanta, was that man well-versed.
I had to stop thinking about those nights on the river bank, sweat dripping off us . . . Stop, Shelby. I needed Jesus. Or maybe a man. I rushed toward the church. Jesus was always the safest choice. He, at least, always kept His word.
The new associate pastor was greeting people by the door. He’d only been here for the past few weeks, fresh out of school and off a service mission in Africa. “Good morning, Shelby.” He shook my hand, holding it a bit longer than I expected.
“Good morning. How are you?”
“Very well.” His cheeks tinted red. “I was wondering if perhaps—"
Bobby Jay rudely cut off the poor man by taking my hand and pulling me toward the chapel. “Moving on. That associate pastor was acting like he wanted to do some private association with you.”
Why did Bobby Jay care if he did? I knew Bobby Jay didn’t have those kinds of feelings for me. He used to tell Ryder I was a beauty but he would stick to Leigh Anne, a woman who had a little more meat on her bones. And if he was pulling me away for his cousin’s benefit, he was misguided. Ryder had made his choice. By the way Marlowe was looking at him with her come hither eyes, he would have another choice to make. That was, until I told her he was a cheat.
“All the men around here do,” Marlowe exaggerated. “But she never gives them the time of day.” That part was true. I always tried to be kind about it when I turned down any advance. It’s not like I would never try again, but until I had full custody of my heart, it didn’t seem fair to the other person. I wanted to make sure I was dating for all the right reasons, not just because I wanted to feel wanted.
Bobby Jay’s brows raised to the sky. “I thought you said last night that—”
“It’s almost time for the service to start. We better find a seat.” This time I pulled Bobby Jay along with me.
