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Colton rolls his eyes while shaking his head. “Way too fucking soon, babe.”
I can’t help but laugh as I scoot across the bed and put myself right in front of him, biting my lip as a wave of nerves settle over me. “Look, while we’re talking,” I say, making his brows drop, knowing damn well that whenever I start a sentence like that, it’s never good. “I wanted to talk to you about the whole bun in the oven thing. We really haven’t had a chance to talk about it.”
“You’ve got that right,” he says with a soft scoff. “To be honest, I really haven't known what to say about it because I don’t know where your head is at. I have no idea if you even want to keep it.”
“I, umm … I honestly still have no idea. It’s such a big decision.”
He reaches out across the bed and takes my hand. “I know, which is why I don’t want you to rush it. I don’t want you to feel pressure to make a decision in haste and end up regretting it later.”
I nod. “Well, I’ve already worked out that I can’t get rid of it. That’s just … it’s not an option for me, but I don’t know where to go from there. Jaren, the guy who works behind the bar in the Den kinda mentioned something about adoption … and … well, I haven’t really had a chance to think about it yet, but it’s something I want to look into more.”
“And if it is mine?” he questions.
“Then that’s your decision too,” I tell him. “All I know is that if I’m going to be around the Wolves as more of a permanent thing, I can’t have a baby with me. I … I don’t even know how I feel about it yet, but I just know that having a kid … there’d be a target on it’s back, and I can’t do that to an innocent baby.”
Colton’s brows pinch as he focuses on me. “What are you saying, Jade?”
“I guess… I don’t really know, but if it’s yours and we keep it, I think I should give you full parental rights so that it can’t be linked back to me. A baby won’t be safe with me.”
“What?” he grunts, staring at me blankly. “That’s fucking insane. You’re not giving up your rights to your child. If we have this baby together, we’re doing it right. No one is going to put a target on it’s back because I will make it impossible to do so. No one will ever get near this baby, we’re going to love it, and we’re going to give it the life it deserves. Just as I’m going to do for you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You’re going to college, Ocean. Even if you’re the leader of the Wolves. If there’s a baby around, we’ll get a nanny, and you’ll still get the chance to do everything you wanted. I’ll make sure of it. I’m not going to let you put your life on hold because of all of this, and there’s no reason that you should have to.”
I cringe, meeting his eyes and loving how much he cares. “I just … I don’t know. I don’t think college is going to be possible anymore.”
“It will,” he tells me. “Even if you have to put it off for a year or two or do it through distance learning. You’re not giving up on yourself and giving everything over to the Wolves. They don’t deserve one hundred percent of you. Only you do.”
“And what about you?”
“Well, I get a hundred percent of you no matter where you are.”
“You’re an idiot,” I laugh. “But speaking of my future …”
His eyes narrow, watching me cautiously, knowing that with me, this could go either way. “What about it?” he questions, warily.
I glance out his bedroom window, watching the clouds in the morning sky. “I, um … I kinda had a thought, you know, assuming the whole college thing does happen.”
“Go on …”
“Well, the other day when you were telling me about Luca DeCarlo and how he’d stolen all those kids and sold them to despicable people all around the world. It got me thinking.” I glance down at him to find his eyes on mine, wondering where the hell I’m going with this. “I think once I know what I’m doing and obviously am qualified to do the job, I’d like to start a foundation or … I don’t really know what to call it, but something that locates and saves the kids that the rest of the world has written off or forgotten about. Maybe there could be facilities in each state that take in these kids who have nowhere else to go so they don’t end up snatched off the street by dickheads like DeCarlo and hurt. I don’t know, I used to see these poor homeless kids and foster kids who’d run away in the streets of Breakers Flats. It was horrible, and I want to do something about it.”
