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“But he said…” I groan and shake my head. It doesn’t matter what he said. Doesn’t matter what I read into the situation. This was about sex for him, about claiming an untouched virgin. Nothing more.
“C’mere.” Vi slaps my back and stands. “I know what you need.”
She pulls me onto the couch, and I wrap myself in the couch blanket as she pads into the kitchen. A few minutes later, she’s back with a bottle of wine and a jar of ice cream. She hands me a spoon, and we take turns eating
straight out of the container while she pours us both hefty glasses.
“Just like old times, huh?” She rubs my shoulder again, passing me the glass of wine. But I just stare into it, remembering the way we drank this just a little over a week ago. Right before Violet signed me up for this stupid website. Right before my life changed–or so I thought.
Maybe nothing changed after all. Except for the fact that I’m no longer a virgin, and now I know what heartache feels like.
“I can’t believe he would do that to me,” I groan for what feels like the hundredth time. “After everything he said…”
“What did he say?” Violet presses. “I mean, besides that, he wanted to bone you because you’re a virgin.”
I groan and roll my eyes. “That’s not why. I mean… Not the only reason. He said he wanted to keep things going. To have fun as long as we wanted… I guess that wasn’t very long for him.” I shake my head. “Maybe I was just bad at it.”
“I’m sure you were great.” Violet scowls. “He’s the creep, okay? I mean, he shouldn’t have even been sleeping with you, not yet.”
I frown. Turn to stare at her. “What do you mean?”
“I read the rules on that stupid site. It says you aren’t supposed to sleep with your match before the auction ends. That if you do, the virgin won’t get paid, and the bidder will get banned from the site.”
Banned.
My eyes widen. “Oh my god. Violet.”
No way. She wouldn’t.
But I know my best friend. And I recognize that expression she’s wearing now. Defensive.
“He was a total creep, Joyce! He was using you. Why else would he bid that much and then sleep with you before it was over? He was probably just trying to get the milk for free. I bet he’s not even rich.”
“Violet. You got him banned from the website?! You reported us?”
“You were acting crazy!” She throws her arms up in the air. “You missed work because you were on that damn site messaging him all the time. I know you don’t have a lot of experience dating yet, so let me just say, it’s fucking weird to try and hook up with a virgin on a pay-to-play website. I didn’t want you to get hurt. This way it’s a clean break. You can just walk away, smarter for it, and find a nice normal guy to date.”
I toss the ice cream container onto the table, spilling it everywhere. I don’t care. I storm to my feet and point at the door. “Get out of my house.”
Violet’s on her feet in a heartbeat, eyes wide, incredulous. “Are you kidding me right now?”
“Get out.”
“This was for your own good, Joyce!”
“You don’t get to tell me what’s for my own good! I’m a grown woman; I can make my own mistakes.” I’m so furious I’m seeing red. I grab the spilled ice cream container. Storm across the living room to toss it onto the dining room table instead.
But I’m not aiming. It flies straight to the middle of the table and hits the sculpture resting there.
I watch it in slow-motion, mouth dropping open. I’m not quick enough this time. Behind me, Violet races forward, but she’s too slow too. The vase hits the dining room floor a moment later, shattering into a dozen pieces.
Just like me.
I can’t help it, then. I start sobbing. I fold to my knees, drop my head into my hands.
Violet is picking up the pieces, saying she’ll get some glue.
I shake my head and shove to my feet. “If you won’t get out, I will,” I growl. Along the way, I grab my still-full glass of wine, chug the whole thing, and throw on my coat.
“Joyce, wait,” Violet’s saying. “Where are you going?”
“Why do you care?” I toss over my shoulder. Then I slam the door behind me and
storm out into the night, tears drying on my face in the cold night air.
9
I walk to the only place I can think of. It takes an hour and a half in the freezing cold, especially since I’m not wearing practical shoes. But I finally make it to Declan’s building, and stop outside, shivering on the sidewalk as I talk myself into going in.
It seems like a crazy step to take, but I don’t know how else to reach him. How else to explain that I didn’t report him to the site, that I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.
I step into the lobby and plaster on my best smile–difficult through the wine haze that’s settled over my shoulders as I walked (turned out chugging that glass on an empty stomach wasn’t a great idea), and the tracks of tears on my cheeks. “Hi,” I tell the doorman, proud of myself for only staggering a little bit on the threshold. “I’m here to see Declan.” Declan. Declan who? Shit, I don’t even know his last name.
“I’m sorry, miss,” the doorman replies without even batting an eye. “You’ll have to come back another time.”
“Can you at least call up to him? Please, it’s important.”
“I’m sorry,” he repeats. “If you’d like to leave a message—”
“I don’t want to leave a message; I just want to see him,” I blurt out, then flush as my voice echoes in the enormous entryway. Another couple breeze through the doors, casting sideways frowns at me as they nod to the doorman and waltz over to the elevator.
“Please,” I add, my voice a whisper now.
“Miss, I told you, you can leave a message.”
“But why can’t you just call up to him now instead of later?”
“Because, he’s–” the doorman stops midsentence to glance over my shoulder, and
his stoic expression melts into relief. “Ah, sir. I was just telling the young lady here that she could leave you a message if she wanted.”
I whirl around, and my breath catches in a hiccup as I find myself face-to-face with Declan.
“Joyce?” he asks, eyes widening.
The tears start to sting at my eyes again, and before I can open my mouth, before I can even start to explain, he catches me in a hug. I wrap my arms around his neck, burying my face in his shoulder. “I thought I lost you,” I mumble into his coat, my eyes swimming in tears. I’m beyond embarrassment at this point; all I can feel is dizzying relief, as Declan starts to walk us both backward, though his foyer to the elevator.
When the doors close behind us, and we’re alone, he kisses my cheek, then reaches up to brush away the tears still falling. “What happened?” he asks, eyes piercing mine. “Are you all right?”
I blurt out everything. The whole story, from the moment I found his account missing, to Violet coming over to comfort me, but then confessing that she’s the one who had him removed. “And I didn’t have your number or any other way to contact you, and I was… I thought…” I catch my breath as the elevator reaches his floor, and we step out into his apartment, his arms still wrapped tightly around my shoulders. “I thought you’d abandoned me,” I whisper, face flushed with heat. “After you got what you wanted…”
Declan stops dead in the middle of the living room. Grasps my chin in his hand and turns my face to his, his gaze serious. “Joyce.” He shakes his head. “You clearly forgot that I already made you mine.”
His lips find mine, and we crash into the kiss. He parts his lips, his tongue searching my mouth, claiming it, and I sink into him, arms around his shoulders, letting him take me, loving the sensation of belonging. I feel so safe in his arms, protected from anything else the world could throw at us.
When we finally part, breathless, he laughs softly and rests his forehead against mine, eyes boring into mine. “I’ve been at work all day; I didn’t even realize that stupid website kicked me off.”
“Oh, god.” I groan, closing my eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin your account.”
He laughs, and when I open my eyes again, he’s rolling his. “I don’t care that I’m banned.” He leans in to kiss my neck, then trails his lips along my jaw. “I found what I need. Something I didn’t even know I was looking for…”
Then his lips are on mine again, and I can’t think straight when he kisses m
e like this. We crash into the wall beside his door, and he pins me against it. Lifts my arms over my head slowly, holding them in one hand as his other explores my body, trailing down my waist to tug at the hemline of the skirt I’m wearing. “As for you, my naughty girl… Have you gotten what you were looking for out of this deal?”
I tilt my head, catching his grin with one of my own. “Mm, almost.”
His eyebrows lift. “Almost?”
“I’d say yes, but frankly, I don’t want to stop having fun yet…” I reply, dropping my eyes to take in his body. The way he leans over me, possessive, commanding, and yet his eyes don’t stray from my body, hungry and full of desire that I make him feel.
“That’s good.” He leans in, almost kisses me, but stops short, teasing, making me quiver with desire. I want to feel his body pressed against mine, his hips arching into mine. But he holds me in place against the wall, not quite touching me yet. “Because there are still so many pleasures I want to make you feel, Joyce.” His eyes flash to mine. “So many ways I still want to fuck you. Claim you. Make you mine.”
I squirm a little, my belly tightening at the thought. “Then take me,” I reply, lifting my chin, challenging.
His fingers hook under the hem of my skirt. In one swift motion, he pulls it down my legs, taking my panties with it. I gasp as the cool air of the room hits my pussy, and when he rocks forward to press his hips against mine, my ass hits the even colder wall behind us. I shiver, and he grins, one hand sliding between my legs as his lips feather across my ear, not quite a kiss, just a breath.
“I love feeling you surrender to me,” he murmurs, his hand cupping my mound, fingers grazing my pussy lips, not touching me in earnest, not yet. “Spread your legs,” he orders, and I obey, spreading them as wide as I can while still pinned against the wall, my wrists grasped tight in Declan’s strong hand.
He strokes me slowly, his fingers exploring my slit slowly, tracing from my ass all the way to my clit and back again. I’m wet already, and he smirks as he swirls his fingers in my juices. “You are so hungry for me, aren’t you, dirty girl?”
