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The next day in chemistry, Loche is late like usual. My eyes fall immediately to his empty desk when I walk in the room. My gaze lingers there until laughter around me grows loud enough to get my attention. When I look up to see what all the laughter is about, my heart squeezes as if it’s being wrung out, and my breath lodges in my throat. Tacked to the walls, covering every inch of blank space, are 8x10 glossy still shots from the porno Loche was in. Blown up big enough to see his face and other bits too. Full-frontal.
No.
Serena and Chad sit on top of their desks, smiling and admiring their handy work.
No, no, no.
I drop my backpack and immediately start to tear down the photos, crumpling them into one large ball. How could Serena be so cruel?
She comes up behind me. I smell her perfume and know it’s her before she even speaks. The room starts to close in on me. “What, you don’t like my art project?” she says over my shoulder.
I turn around to face her. It takes all the willpower inside of me not to punch her smug face.
“Why are you such a bitch?” I say, spitting the words at her. “This is someone’s life. He’s not some plaything for you and your minion to tear apart.”
“That’s precious,” Chad says, examining his nails as if he’s already bored with the show. “She’s standing by her man.”
Other students, getting only bits and pieces of the whole story, start to whisper about my involvement.
I’m like a tornado spinning through the room, reaching, grabbing at photos, pulling them into my vortex. My classmates watch me, doing nothing to help. How can they all be so callous toward such an amazing teacher, one who puts up with a lot of bullshit from a lot of ungrateful, trust-fund assholes?
I’d hoped to have all of the pictures down by the time Loche got back to the classroom, but no such luck. He walks in, holding his leather satchel that he always has with him full of our assignments. He shaved. It gives him a completely different look, one that is more GQ than mountain man, but I like both looks equally. At this point I think I’d find him beautiful even if he grew out some gratuitous biblical beard. I want to go up to him and touch his skin, but, of course, there are more pressing matters at hand.
His eyes skim the rows of photos I have yet to take down. He doesn’t look scared or upset at all—maybe somewhat surprised, but only a little. He does nothing to try to take the rest down. If it were me and those were my naked photos everywhere, I would flee and never return, maybe have myself committed somewhere so no one would ever see my face again. But Loche just stands there. His gaze searches the room until he finds me in my corner, a large wad of paper in my hands and tears in my eyes.
“I tried to take them down,” I say, my voice weak and desperate.
His mouth clamps down, eyes hard when he looks at me. My stomach drops to the floor. He’s pissed at me. Somehow, this is all my fault. Maybe if I hadn’t been so curious about the video in the first place Serena would’ve let it go. But I had to open my big mouth and become a part of whatever this is. I’m so fucked. The thought of him being mad at me scares me more than anything. That’s when I realize my feelings for him run deeper than I thought.
“Georgia, outside. Now.”
“But I didn’t—”
“Now.”
My breath wavers and I swallow down the sick feeling in my stomach. Dropping the photos in the trash bin, I head out of the classroom. On my way, people whisper “good luck” and “you’re in deep shit now,” as if I did all this. They have to know I didn’t do this. I would never. My furious gaze lands on Serena, but she’s not looking at me. Her head is bent over a textbook as if she’s innocent.
Bitch.
Before the door even shuts behind me, I’m already trying to explain myself. “Loche, I swear I would never—”
He grabs my shoulders, pushes me against the wall, and presses his lips against mine in a furious kiss. I’m so stunned at first I don’t kiss him back. But as his warm lips caress mine, I start to sink into his arms, and all the worry I’d felt flutters away for the briefest moment. My tongue slides against his teeth, behind them, the roof of his mouth. I explore, wanting to feel every part of him. He takes my bottom lip between my teeth, gently biting before kissing me again. If we weren’t in the middle of the school day, I’d be climbing out of my clothes right now. He’s impossible to resist, even with the lingering fear of getting caught sitting in the back of my mind.
When he pulls away I say, “I thought you were pissed at me.”
His lips and the skin around them are stained pink from the friction of our kiss. Without the stubble on his face I’d never seen them like that before. If I wasn’t scared to death about the consequences of those photos, I’d be smiling. But my expression is incapable of doing anything other than showing fear.
“How could I be pissed at you?” he says. I’m left breathless by the adoring way he looks at me. With the tips of his fingers he caresses my cheek. No man has every looked at me like that before. “You were defending me in there. I saw the whole thing. I was by the door. I heard what you said to Serena.”
He hugs me again, burying his face in my hair. I look up and down the halls. We’re alone for now, but we won’t be for long. “We can’t hug and kiss like this at school.”
“I know we can’t. Meet me tonight.”
“If I go to your house, Serena will see us,” I say.
“Then we’ll go somewhere else. I’ll pick you up in front of the bus station down the street from the dorms at seven.”
“Okay.” I sigh, looking back at the classroom. “What are we going to do about all those pictures?”
“I’ll take care of it,” he says.
But he doesn’t have to, because by the time we get back into the classroom, they’ve already been take down. My only fear is who has them and what they will do with them next.
8
Loche Johnson
I’m excited to go on a date with Georgia. A real date. I pick her up at the bus station. She’s already waiting for me when I get there at seven. She stands in the middle of a cone of light cast down by a parking lot lamp, stunning in a sparkling black dress with her hair pulled back, showing off her long, slender neck. I get out to open the door for her.
“You look beautiful,” I say.
She smiles up at me, eyes shining. “So do you.”
I made an effort to dress up tonight, wanting to be worthy of being seen in public with such a goddess. Still, no one’s going to be paying a damn bit of attention to me with her standing there, other than to cast their jealous looks my way.
I can’t help but stare. I can see this with her. Date nights, special evenings for birthdays, anniversaries, and other big moments we choose to celebrate. I see a future with this woman. I think I love her. That though paralyzes my lungs. I haven’t had much luck with love. I’ve just never really connected with anyone other than Georgia before.
Once she’s in the car, we drive a half hour out of town. I normally listen to blues. She likes something a little faster, so we compromise on classic rock, though neither of us are really listening to the radio since we talk the entire time.
Seems like we’ve only been driving a few minutes when I pull into the parking lot of Bocelli’s, a restaurant I found by accident when looking for a place to eat on my way home from a teaching conference. It’s hidden from the road, cozy, and the food is delicious. We’re seated in the back per my request, at a table in the corner. The dim lighting gives her skin a soft glow.
“What’s good here?” she asks when we get our menus.
“What kind of food do you like?”
“Burgers.”
I raise my eyebrows. Maybe I didn’t quite think this through. It’s been some time since I was a struggling student myself on a burger budget. Since then my tastes have become a bit more refined.
Looking at the menu, I realize nothing is in English. There are no burgers.
“The oysters here a
re great,” I say. Her face twists comically and I fight the urge to laugh. “What, you don’t like them?”
“I’ve never had them, but I’ve seen people eat raw oyster shooters, and, ew.”
“These aren’t raw. They’re fried, and they’re fantastic. Haven’t you ever heard that they’re an aphrodisiac?”
“Really?” she says, looking skeptical.
“How about I order the oysters, you order the steak, and we’ll share.”
“Sounds like a deal.”
After we order, the waiter brings out a bottle of wine. “So, how the hell are you still single?” she asks after she’s a glass in. I pour another for her. I take slow sips of mine since I’m driving.
“Just never met the right girl, I guess.”
“How is that even possible? You’re sweet, kind, and arguably the most intelligent person I’ve ever met, and definitely the most attractive.”
I can already tell the wine is loosening her up. When we first walked in, she was on edge, peering around the room as if to case the joint. Now she’s molded herself into a comfortable position in the booth, and her gaze rarely leaves my face. Her cheeks are flushed from the alcohol, and she seems to be letting down her guard a bit.
I blush at the compliment. Other women have told me I was attractive plenty of times, but there’s something humbling about the way Georgia says it. Feels more genuine when it comes from her versus others.
“I don’t know. There’s never been a connection before,” I say.
Until now. I want so badly to say it to her, but I’m not sure how. If this is just some casual fling for her, I don’t want to hear it. I’m not ready. All my other relationships have all been physical, but it’s different with Georgia. I can’t tell her that, though. Men aren’t supposed to feel vulnerable and afraid. Except that’s exactly how I feel when I start to open up to this girl. If she said it first, that’s one thing, but I have a feeling her walls are up as well.
“What about you, why don’t you have a boyfriend? You’re brilliant and sexy.”
She looks down at her wine glass with the most beautiful, shy smile and fingers the stem. “I guess I have the same reasons as you. I’ve never connected with anyone, until—” she starts to say, before being cut off by the waiter.
Until what?!
