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Dimitri finishes his wine and wipes his mouth with a white cloth napkin, staining it an ugly purple.
“And that means nothing,” Dimitri says in a calm voice that belies the stormy look of fury in his eyes. “A name or title does not earn respect. It doesn’t earn devotion.” He scoffs. “We have jobs to do, Kazimir,” he says, glaring at me. “And the only way we’ll accomplish those jobs is by eliminating those that get in our way.”
“Like you did with Yana?” I can’t keep the bitterness out of my voice.
Unblinking, he nods. “Of course. I’m not a total savage, though, son,” he says, his voice gentling. “I made sure she’ll be buried by her mother.”
This time, hearing him call me son sickens me.
“You’ll have an easier job of it,” he says to me. “The woman you have to bury has no family.”
No family? She has a child growing within her. She has me.
But I have to play along. I can’t reason with an insane man, and Dimitri has come unglued.
“Right,” I say. “I see now, sir.”
He swallows the bite of food and gives me a piercing look. “Get rid of her, Kazimir. You have until tomorrow evening before I do it myself.”
I take in a deep breath and play my part. I give him the lie he needs to hear.
“Yes, sir.”Chapter Twenty-TwoSadieI pace the floor near the window, wearing nothing but a pair of thin black lounge pants and a tank top. The top rides high on my waist, revealing my rounded tummy, the lounge pants slung low on my hips, and as I pace, they slip down. I yank them back up again. Distracted.
Something isn’t right.
I wonder at first if it’s the baby that grows in me, my hormones, or the intensity I’ve just gone through with Kazimir that makes me unable to focus. I can’t take the vitamins Nikita has left for me, I don’t want any of her ministrations today, and when she speaks to me, my mind is elsewhere.
I’ve just made love to my husband after weeks apart, and my heart longs to see him again. To be held by him. To hear him tell me everything’s alright.
To hear him say he loves me once more.
I don’t want to be here anymore, and it isn’t simply because I want my freedom back. It isn’t even because I dislike his brothers or Dimitri.
I want to see the haunted look in his eyes disappear. Even when he sleeps, Kazimir is tense, on guard, always prepared for a fight.
It isn’t right. It isn’t healthy.
And I won’t raise a baby here if I have anything to do with it.
I know he’s thinking of other arrangements, but I don’t want to wait any longer. I want to go now.
Nikita’s gone downstairs to fetch the tea that I drink after realizing my stock was depleted up here. So when she comes back into the room, I don’t pay attention to her until she startles me by grabbing my shoulders.
“Sadie!” she hisses. Panic sweeps through my chest at the sound of her voice.
“What?” I ask, grasping at her. “What’s wrong, Nikita?”
“You must go,” she wails, looking over her shoulder as if someone’s followed her. “You must go now. You and your child are not safe here.” My heart races at her words.
“Kazimir,” I whisper. Though we’re alone I fear even the walls have ears. “Where is he?”
Her widened eyes betray my greatest fear.
“No, Sadie. He is the one who will hurt you.” She closes her eyes and to my surprise, makes the sign of the cross and mutters rapidly in Russian. Though I don’t understand her, I assume she’s praying or something. Is this some sort of superstitious ritual?
“Nikita, tell me!” I say to her. “Tell me everything.”
In broken English with tears running down her cheeks, she tells me. She was in the kitchen fetching the tea when she heard raised voices in the dining room. Sneaking to the doorway, she listened in on their conversation.
Kazimir took me because he thought I was worth millions, due an inheritance from distant relatives. I close my eyes when she says this. I never did fully understand why he took me.
He took me for money. I mean nothing to him.
Nikita continues, but I barely hear her. Dimitri has killed his wife and instructed Kazimir to do the same.
He killed his wife.
I’m not worth what they thought I was. I’m worthless.
Dimitri doesn’t know I bear a child. But if he did… would that change anything?
It would likely put me at even more risk than I am now. If Dimitri knew I actually meant anything to Kazimir…
I swallow the lump that rises in my throat and glance around the small room. I have nothing here that matters to me. Even my old journal means nothing to me now.
