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Drew frowned. "What the hell is PKD? It sounds like the name of a bad metal band."
"I wish it were." Justin quickly explained the parameters of the disease to his brother, who looked shell-shocked by the news. "Unless she gets a kidney--and preferably from a live donor--things are likely to get really rough, really fast."
"Donate yours." Drew said it as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"I would, in a heartbeat." Of course, Justin had already thought of that. "But she was so intent on shielding me from her disease that she didn't even want us to be together. How the heck am I going to convince her to take one of my kidneys?"
"Do you think she'd be more open to taking one of mine?"
Justin had never been a crier. Even when his mother had been sick, he'd pushed tears away with medical books and scientific research up until the very end. But hearing his brother offer to donate a kidney to Taylor without even a moment's hesitation--
Sometimes a guy couldn't stop himself from choking up.
"Thanks, Drew." Emotion at the sacrifice his brother was willing to make made his voice rough. "But if Taylor's going to have a piece of someone inside her, it's going to be me."
As brothers who had shared endless dirty jokes as kids, they both had to laugh at the double meaning of his words, but it was muted humor.
"I'm going to tell her I want to be tested to see if I'm a match." Now that Justin had made up his mind, he was unwavering. "And if I'm a compatible donor, I'm not going to let her say no."
"Whatever you need," his brother said, "just let me know."
Justin looked in the direction the women had gone. "I've got to make a couple of calls to get the ball rolling ASAP. Could you distract Ashley and Taylor in case they come back before I'm done?"
He knew without a shadow of a doubt that since Taylor had only just come on board with dating him, she really wasn't going to be happy about him wanting to be her donor. If she overheard his calls to the transplant center before he had a chance to talk her around to the idea, it wouldn't help his case one bit to debate it in front of Drew and Ashley.
"No problem," Drew agreed.
Justin knew a couple of scientists at the University of California at Davis, which was not only less than an hour away, but also had one of the best kidney-transplant centers in the nation. Thankfully, they were more than happy to connect him with the transplant team, and dropping their names got him an appointment first thing the next morning for the blood tests he and Taylor would have to have to check their compatibility for a transplant.
"Nice work," Drew said when he put his phone down. "Perfect timing too. Looks like Ash and Taylor are just heading back."
As he watched the woman he'd always been crazy about laugh with Drew's fiancee, Justin pushed away every ounce of doubt, letting only hope and love remain. He and Taylor had always been the perfect match for each other. They just needed to be a perfect match again so that he could give her his kidney.
He refused to accept any other possibility.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
As Taylor got into Justin's car, she felt much more relaxed than she had an hour ago, thanks to the fresh air, beautiful scenery, and laughter with good friends.
She had just reached for Justin's hand when he turned to her from the driver's seat. "We've got an appointment for blood tests tomorrow morning with the transplant team at UC Davis."
Wait, what did he just say? He wanted to donate a kidney to her?
Of everything she'd thought they'd be talking about on their drive back to her B&B, this was nowhere on the list. After all, she'd only just wrapped her head around dating him when they both knew her health was in rapid decline. But to let him give her one of his kidneys?
Had he hit his head on something when she and Ashley had left to check out the guest house?
Taylor's brain--and her heart--were full of so many conflicting thoughts and emotions that, instead of being able to clearly break down all the reasons he couldn't do this for her, she said, "I can't go tomorrow morning. I have to make breakfast for guests."
As if Justin would reply, Well, sure, if you need to make breakfast, then why don't we both forget about my offer to donate a kidney to you.
"Maddie is going to come up from the city to take care of breakfast and anything else you need done while we're at Davis."
Taylor knew she should be grateful. A live donor had the potential to make all the difference in the world, but the waiting list had over 100,000 people on it--and it could take seven to ten years for her to make it to the top.
But she was already terrified of hurting Justin simply by getting sicker and sicker due to her disease. She couldn't imagine the depths of her grief, her guilt, if he ended up being a compatible donor and then something happened to him during surgery, or after.
Again, however, she couldn't think in a line straight enough to say anything rational. Instead, what came out was, "I can't believe you arranged all this behind my back while I was with Ashley."
"I'm not going to apologize. Not for wanting to donate one of my kidneys to you. And not for loving you either." To back up his words, he leaned over and kissed her--a kiss that sent just as many zings of pleasure through her as his offer to help her in the most profound way possible had sent zings of confusion and conflict through her. "I'm not going to lose you now, Taylor. Especially when I know that you love me and you know that I love you. I'm in this with you all the way, no matter what. So as long as there's even a ghost of a chance that I can donate to you, I'll take it."
Forcing herself to take some deep breaths, she worked to bend her wayward thoughts back into straight lines. Justin obviously wasn't going to back down about the two of them getting blood tests to see if he was a match. And the truth was that she would have insisted on the very same thing if she had been in his shoes.
Finally, she said, "I'll go and get tested with you."
But all the while, she'd hold on to the hope that Justin wouldn't be a compatible donor. Because if he was, she'd have to make the most difficult decision of her life.
*
For the next several hours, Taylor was busy serving and then clearing up afternoon tea. A new couple checked in, and the Belmonts, who had already met with a local Realtor, wanted Taylor's opinion on the properties they'd seen. Her mother called a couple of times, but she'd let both calls go through to voice mail, instead sending a text that said, Super busy, but doing good. Will call you tomorrow. Her day had been such a roller-coaster ride that she didn't think she could pull off a normal conversation with her mom just yet--not when she was certain that Caroline Cardenes would instantly know what her daughter had been doing, and who she'd been doing it with, from nothing more than the sound of her voice.
Unfortunately, Justin Morrison had always been a tricky subject with her mother...
If only Caroline could see how good he was with Sophie and Addison as they sold lemonade and cookies on the sidewalk at a stand he'd hammered together from some leftover lumber at the back of her property. He was such a natural with kids. And she was happy that the Belmont children had distracted him from his computer. All too soon, she and Justin would be back in the deep end at the transplant center tomorrow morning.
After the lemonade stand sold out of its goodies, the kids went off to dinner in town with their parents. She and Justin ate chowder and cornbread, and once they'd finished eating, they sat out in her yard, with only the crickets for company and the moon shining full and round in the night sky.
Anyone looking at the couple holding hands in the moonlight would think everything was perfect. They would never be able to guess at the turmoil roiling just below the surface--or the fact that Taylor's day had been full not only of more love than she'd ever known it was possible to feel, but also more confusion that she ever wanted to have to face.
Last night, she'd let herself be swept away in the magic of being with Justin at last, the heady romance of his kisses, the sinfully sweet culmination
of years of longing. Tonight, she needed Justin's love to wrap around her and fill up her reserves. Reserves that were running perilously low.
Before she could say a word, he was pulling her up from her seat. "I can't wait to make love with you again. Not another second."
"I can't wait either," she replied, relief filling every word.
She should have guessed that he would be feeling the same way, should have known that for all his confident words about helping her win her battles, his reserves would be just as low as hers.
Hand in hand, they all but ran through the garden to her cottage. Last night, when the floodgates had opened, she'd let her body soar, but she'd tried to keep hold of her heart.
Tonight, her heart was in charge. Where it went, her body would follow.
Once they were inside, she leaped into his arms, kissing him with all the love that filled her.
Lost in his kiss, it took her longer than it should have to realize how gently he was holding her. Too gently. As though she might break at any moment.
