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CHAPTER FIFTEEN
As Caroline helped out in the kitchen and then with serving her guests, Taylor was glad she had the chance to see how well the B&B was running in its inaugural week. Even if Caroline's arrival had been a surprise, it wasn't an unwelcome one. Especially given that Taylor felt a little more tired than usual this morning. Her side wasn't hurting much, apart from that dull ache that she was pretty much used to by now. No doubt the shock of finding her ex sitting in her kitchen as she walked in with her new boyfriend had worn her down a bit.
A couple of hours later, everything in the kitchen and dining room was clean and put away. Rufus and Janet would be in soon to deal with the bathrooms, towels, and sheets. Confident that everything was in order, at least on the business front, Taylor brewed fresh coffee and plated the extra brownies that Maddie had stored in a glass container in the fridge.
As she walked into the parlor, she was pleased to see that Justin and Bruce seemed to have arrived at a truce. They were both on their computers--Justin likely doing more research on PKD--while her mother created a fresh flower display for the front window from the roses in Taylor's garden.
"I'd love it if the four of us could sit down and have a coffee break," Taylor said as she poured coffee into four mugs. She'd never been the kind to force an issue, or to ram an idea down someone's throat, but she didn't want there to be any misunderstanding from this point forward. Particularly when it came to Bruce.
A couple of minutes later, the four of them had each taken a mug and were sitting around the coffee table in the parlor.
"First of all," Taylor said, "I would like to rewind and start this morning again by saying how nice it is to see you, Mom, and you too, Bruce. Family and friends are always welcome here, and I hope you'll accept my invitation to stay in the two available rooms."
There wasn't so much as a flash of surprise on Justin's face. He would have done exactly the same thing for his own family. Putting herself in his shoes, however, she wouldn't have been at all happy to share the same space with one of his exes.
"Of course we'll stay, honey," her mother said. "That's a lovely offer, isn't it, Bruce?"
"It is," Bruce agreed, "but I've got to get back to the bank by tomorrow morning. I've just been alerted to a rather messy international transaction that one of my staff put through. Time, unfortunately, is of the essence."
"It certainly is," Taylor's mother said in a sharp voice, clearly displeased with him. "Which is why you should tell Taylor why you're here. Tell her your plans."
Taylor looked between the two of them. "Plans?"
When Bruce wasn't immediately forthcoming, her mother said, "Bruce wants to donate one of his kidneys to you."
Taylor's mouth dropped open as she spun to look at him. "That's why you came to St. Helena?"
He cleared his throat and pulled at his collar as though it were too tight, despite the fact that two buttons were already undone. "Well...after your mother told me about your diagnosis..." He looked like he'd rather be anywhere else, agreeing to anything else.
"Bruce." Taylor gave him a lopsided smile. "I appreciate your gesture. But you don't have to donate a kidney to me."
"I don't?"
"Of course he does, honey." Her mother's voice cracked with emotion. "If Bruce is a match, he's your very best option."
Taylor knew Justin had to be dying to speak up, but he was keeping his promise. She'd told herself the reasons she'd given Justin to keep his donation offer quiet were perfectly rational, especially when it came to giving her mother false hope. But none of those were the real reasons.
Bluntly put, Taylor had asked him to remain silent because she was still afraid to live her own life and make her own decisions fully and completely. She was still afraid of making the wrong choices, still afraid of taking risks that might not always turn into rewards.
But she couldn't live like that anymore. If she wanted her parents to let go and see that she was a capable adult, perfectly well equipped to make even the hardest decisions, there was no time like the present.
"Justin has offered to be my donor," Taylor blurted before she could wimp out. Bruce went limp with relief as she added, "We did the initial tests yesterday and have a meeting set up with a local donor this afternoon so that she can tell us her story."
Taylor expected her mother to be overjoyed, but Caroline's eyes narrowed as she turned to Justin. "If you're just saying you want to donate so that you can trick my daughter into being with you--"
"Mom!" Taylor cut her off, horrified. "How can you say that?"
But Justin didn't share her fury. Instead, in as steady and genuine a voice as she'd ever heard, he said, "I love your daughter with all my heart, Mrs. Cardenes, and there's nothing I wouldn't do for her. Nothing."
Her mother stared at him, her expression unreadable for several long moments. Finally, she said, "When will you know if you're a match?" Already, despite her reservations about Justin, the fervent hope that Taylor had been worried about was written all over her face.
"Within the next couple of days, I hope. Depending on how well staffed the UC Davis lab is this weekend, however, we may have to wait until Monday."
Silently, Bruce got up to leave the three of them alone to hash things out.
"Given your new relationship with one another," her mother said, "how are you going to deal with your job in Germany? I can't imagine the distance would be a help in either case."
"Mom, please." Taylor didn't think Twenty Questions was fair right now--or ever.
But Justin didn't seem at all perturbed. "I'm already working with my brother Grant to look for a nearby lab to set up operations as soon as possible. He's actually driving up to look at a couple of good options this afternoon before heading to a meeting in the East Bay."
Taylor knew that Justin had planned to make the location change, but she hadn't realized how quickly the other Morrisons would step in to help. Then again, they'd always operated as a team--one she felt immensely honored to become a part of, as Justin's siblings looked out for her the way they'd always looked out for each other.
But before Taylor could express her gratitude at the hours Grant was putting in on Justin's--and on her--behalf, her mother had yet another probing question for him. "Once you move your business here from Germany, where will you live?"
"With me." Taylor didn't think before speaking, but once she said it, she realized she shouldn't be making decisions for Justin, especially when she had repeatedly asked him not to make them for her. "What I meant to say," she said as she turned to face him, "is that I'd love it if you wanted to move in with me. I know my cottage isn't very big, and that you might want a place of your own, so I don't want you to feel pressured or anything."
"Of course I want to move in with you. The only reason I hadn't suggested it already is because I didn't want to pressure you."
"Pressure, shmessure," Caroline said. Taylor had almost forgotten her mother was still in the room. "If the two of you are going to be exchanging kidneys, then moving in together is hardly a big deal."
That was when Taylor realized they had skipped past one very important detail. "The thing is, Mom, even if Justin does end up being a match, I don't know if I'm going to let him go through with it."
"Are you crazy?" Her mother jumped out of her seat. "Of course you're going to let Justin donate his kidney to you!"
This was exactly what Taylor had wanted to avoid. But though her stomach was twisted in knots, she couldn't back down at the first hurdle. Not if she was going to prove to her mother--and to herself--that her days of being afraid to make her own decisions were over.
"I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about it all," she explained. "And I'm not going to let anyone make me feel guilty for not being sure. This is a super big, super hard decision. One I would never take lightly, even if everyone else thinks it should already be a done deal."
She expected her mother to come right back at her with arguments, with pleas to see reaso
n, to let Justin's donation be a fait accompli. Instead, her mom was staring at her as though she was seeing her for the very first time.
Really seeing her.
"All I want is for you to be okay again," Caroline said eventually, the words halting. "To not be sick anymore." Tears fell, but she didn't wipe them away. "The last thing I want is to make things worse for you, honey. I just want to support you in any way I can. That's why I came. That's why I brought Bruce."
"I know, Mom." Taylor slid across Bruce's empty seat to her mother's side, knowing in her heart that it was finally time to talk about the one thing they'd never spoken of--but desperately needed to. "Emily," she began in a soft voice. "My sister, what was she like?" She gripped her mom's hands. "I know it's hard for you to talk about her, but I've wanted to know for so long."
"Emily was beautiful." Her mother's words were barely above a whisper. "She looked so much like you, but with bright green eyes. And when she laughed..." For a moment, Taylor thought her mother was going to break down. But then, she gave a small smile instead. "Her laughter was one of the most beautiful sounds in the world."
"I wish I could have known her," Taylor said.
"I was only just pregnant with you when she got that fever--the doctor said it was nothing to worry about--" She broke off on a sob.
"Mom, I'm so sorry." Taylor hugged her mother, wishing she could take away her pain.
"Once I had you, and then your brother, I prayed I would never hear another doctor tell me one of you was ill. But I couldn't stop worrying. It's why I always tried to keep you close. To make sure you stayed safe. I was terrified when you moved away, when I couldn't keep watch over you, but the truth is that you've flourished, honey. Flourished without my hovering over you every second. But then..." More tears fell. "How can it be fair? How can you be sick? Wasn't it enough for us to lose Emily? To go through that pain? I would give anything, anything, to make you well."
"Mom, you've been amazing." Taylor gently wiped away her mother's tears before drying her own. "Everything is going to be okay." She had said it so many times, but she'd never hoped for it to come true more than she did right at this moment. "And thank you for telling me about my sister."
"I should have talked to you about Emily a long time ago." Her mother was clearly drained from all the emotion. And yet, Taylor couldn't help but think there seemed to be a new strength to her now, perhaps from finally letting the pain of the past go, even if just the slightest bit. "I love you, honey, and no matter what you decide, I'll try to support you. I have to warn you, though, it may not be easy if you make decisions that aren't what I would want you to do. Which is why I reserve the right as your mother to go to the mat with you about pretty much anything."
