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I pull my pants on just in case my princess is awake and walk out into the living room. When I don’t see Kari, I go to the guest room and peek inside. She too is sound asleep, holding the stuffed animal she found on the bed. I blink a few times to push back the tears looking at this sweet, smart, delightful little girl. Knowing that I helped make her and the first seven years of her life were taken from me. My heart squeezes, as it wheezes on its own trying to convey the amount of brokenness it feels. Closing the door slowly, I walk into the kitchen taking out the ingredients for pancakes, bacon, and eggs.
My mind is a whirr of scenarios, questions, and ideas trying to figure out what to do. Where to go from here. There is so much the two of them are not accustomed to. Kari needs to be in school, Lisette ...Lisette. Saying her name fills my heart with warmth. I got Lisette back. Never in a million years did I believe this day would come. I’m not sure where I thought she was, but it never entered my mind that I would get to grow old with her in my arms. Watching my brothers fall one by one, I developed a bit of hard outer shell to deflect the amount of envy building up inside me.
As I finish the last of breakfast, I have a great thought and call my mom.
“Troy. My baby boy. I expected to hear from you today. What do you need my baby?” Oh lord. I wish she would stop calling me that. She is the reason my brothers all tease me about being a mistake, since I am the baby in the family. I roll my eyes at her.
“Mom. Stop it.”
“Hey now. You can’t stop a mama from loving her baby. You came out of my body 25 years ago at the ripe old age of 52. Hell, I thought I was going through the change and out pops your scrawny self. So, I get to call you anything I want to boy. Now how can mama help you?”
If I have to hear that story one more damn time. I chuckle though, thinking about how amazing my childhood was.
“Well mother, if you must know, I am calling because I was hoping maybe you could have a BBQ today so I can bring Lisette and Kari and introduce them to everyone.” I don’t bother saying anything more. See, my mother, Enid Jorgensen, is quite simply put, a badass. She used to be a spy for the CIA back in the sixties. She met my father on her first mission and married him. The rest they say is history. She stayed on inactive status. By the time I was born, she had retired. So, I am more than positive, she probably knows more about Lissi then I do at this point.
“Of course. I will let your father know and make sure to send out the mass email. Shall we say, noon?”
“Noon is perfect.” We hang up right when Lisette and Kari enter the kitchen.
“Good morning. How are my girls?” I greet each of them picking Kari up and kissing her forehead.
“I am good, Daddy. What is that on the table?” she asks with such enthusiasm not even aware that she should know what a fucking pancake is. I can feel the lump in my throat forming. I look over to Lissi, making sure she is holding it together. She gives me a weak smile, letting me know she is doing her best. Sitting Kari in the chair to my left, I pull out the chair to my right, kissing Lisette as she sits in it.
“These, my sweet girl are called pancakes. You put butter and syrup on them. They are sweet like special desserts you eat in the morning. I put one on her plate, load it with butter and syrup and watch as she takes the first bite. When she tries to shove the whole thing in her mouth, I laugh and remove some of it telling her to take her time. Lissi is quiet the whole time, smiling when warranted but not saying anything.
“Everything ok baby?” I ask her pulling her chin up to look at me.
“Yes. Sorry. Still trying to take it all in.”
“I bet. It is indeed a lot. Well, it's a good thing we have fun stuff planned for the day.” I say with a smile on my face.
“Really? What are we doing Daddy?” I turn and look at Kari and my heart beats faster. Every time she calls me ‘Daddy’ it sends warm feelings of love, unlike anything I have ever experienced through me.
“Your grandma Enid is having a BBQ to introduce you to all of your aunts and uncles and cousins. There are a lot of them.” Immediately, I see the uncertainty form in Lissi’s eyes, and it guts me to know she is unsure of my family. At one point, she was one of us.
