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* * *Walking out of the boatshed, I crack my back and neck. This has been one hell of a day. I began trying to negotiate with Portofino for about an hour before realizing he wasn’t going to go for it. All he wanted was to be shot so he didn’t have to answer for his crimes. At one point, I heard the woman scream and my body immediately went into attack mode. I sent a snooping robot into the building to look for all the entrances and exits and had a scope tube put underneath the door. I saw her bleeding from the camera, as he continued to hold her with his hand around her neck and the knife sticking into it. By this point I didn’t care if he lived or died. The problem was, because of the way he was standing, we didn’t have a clean shot that wouldn’t also injure the hostage. You have no idea how hard it is to figure this shit out. In the meantime, he and I went back and forth. Him blaming me for this woman’s predicament, me telling him to own up to his shit. He knew I had been looking for him. According to him, he found it refreshing to have someone else ‘play the game’ as he called it. Bastard. I finally gave him a choice. I would come into the shed, no gun or weapon, if he released her and let her get some help. This, it seemed, was the right answer.

He released the woman, I went in and finally after six hours of negotiating and trying to find a way to end his reign, the shot rang out and he was dead. As with any case, there was crime scene techs and IAB at the crime scene making sure everything I did was above board. Of course, it was. I don’t do that crooked shit. Now here I am walking out of the Lt’s office. “Shit.” I say looking at my watch. It’s eight o’clock. Son of a bitch. Grabbing my phone out of my pocket, I dial Vanessa’s number.

It’s your lucky day. You found me. Well sort of. Leave a message and I will make it official. Thanks.

Her fucking voicemail. We are going to talk about that message. But first I need to get her to listen to me. No doubt she is pissed and rightfully so, but I don’t want her thinking a bunch of shit that isn’t true. As I get into the car, I call Mark. desperate times call for desperate measures.

“What’s up?” He says out of breath. Shit. I forgot this is the time is normally at the gym.

“I need Lily’s number.”

“Fuck no.” How did I not know this was going to be not so easy?

“Damn it, Mark. This is no time for your shit. I need to talk to Lily. Vanessa and I had a date tonight, but I got called into a hostage situation. I was late and didn’t get to call. She's not answering my call. I need to know if Lily is with her.”

“Why didn’t you say so. Hold on.” Did he just fucking put me on hold? Asshole. No clue how long he has me on hold as I drive toward Tulip’s.

“Lily said she is home and in bed. She said she cried for a second before she reminded herself that this is what she expected. I am supposed to tell you that Lily was rooting for you, but now, not so much. Make it right.” It’s like he just shot me in the heart. Knowing that even though it was not on purpose, something I did made her cry, is killing me. DAMN IT! This is going to throw a wrench in things. Doesn’t matter. She is mine. I just have to show her.5VanessaI don’t know why this hurts so damn bad. It shouldn't hurt at all. It’s not like we were even dating. I chastise myself over and over wiping my eyes. I guess the truth is, last night, he had me so convinced that he was different that I let myself drop my wall a little and this is what I get.

Bzzzz.

I roll my eyes hearing my phone ring. Looking down, I see it’s him. I turn it off and roll back over. My mind drifts off to my sister, Araya. I wonder how she is doing. Deciding I need to talk to the one person I can always count on; I call her.

“Little sis. How are you? What’s wrong? Is Lily ok?” Geesh. I smile laughing at her franticness.

“Calm down, Ray. I am fine. You are going to get my niece all worked up in your belly. Lily is fine as well. She is downstairs having a study session with a friend from school.” I assure her.

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