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Ethan and I didn’t have a honeymoon. There was no time. Lockwood Construction had a big project starting up—one I was going to help assist on—and then, well…everything happened all at once: I took a pregnancy test and found out I was pregnant the very same day my acceptance packet came from UT.
When Ethan got home that night, I was on the floor in our bathroom, crying and clutching the manila envelope in one hand and the test stick in the other. Apparently I looked like I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown because he hauled me onto his lap and started kissing my cheeks, my hair, anywhere within reach.
“Taylor,” he said, desperately trying to get me to look at him. “It’s okay. This will be okay. I know it’s overwhelming, but don’t be sad—”
That’s when I finally spoke up, and to this day he still quotes me on this. With a smile and a broken sob, I said, “Are you kidding?! This is the best day of my life!”
Being a mom in college was as hilariously difficult as anyone would expect it to be. Late-night study sessions while breastfeeding an infant often had me seeing double the next day in class.
I had semesters where I only took one class and I had semesters where I crammed three courses into a shortened summer session and thought I was going to die from stress. Thankfully, Isla stepped up in a big way. I never had to think about hiring a nanny because she was there. I mean, really, at all hours of the day and night. I thought I’d never be able to repay her, but she’s due to pop any day now, and I’ve already stocked her freezer full of meals and helped her set up the nursery. Tanner’s a nervous wreck, so the plan is for me to be with her in the delivery room too, just in case he faints and has to be wheeled out.
I smile down at the fake diploma in my hand and then glance around me. Most of the students here had the standard college experience: four years of studying hard, taking risks, changing majors, finding themselves. Most of them are twenty-two, just babies. I know at twenty-eight, I’m not all that much older, and yet somehow I feel like I should be sitting here stroking a long gray beard.
The remainder of graduation passes by quickly now that the hard part is over with. Just before we stand up to toss our caps, my seatmate to the left leans over, smiling wide. “Got plans tonight? Me and my friends are throwing a party to celebrate graduating. We’ve got a house over in West Campus.”
I’m tempted to flash him my diamond ring and tack on the fact that I’m not only a mom of one little boy, I’m expecting another. Beneath my graduation gown, there’s an itty bitty bump, but honestly, I’m flattered by his invitation. It’s good for the ego. So, instead, I smile and save him from having to awkwardly withdraw his offer. “Thanks, I appreciate it, but I have other plans.”
Those other plans are waiting for me outside the arena with what looks like the entire contents of a party supply store. There are balloons and posters and bouquets of flowers. There are more people here than I was expecting, but I’m hung up on Ethan and Andrew looking like carbon copies of one another, standing at the front of the group. Andrew’s wearing a clip-on bowtie and khakis, and his dark brown hair is styled back from his face, very fancy, just like his dad’s. He’s holding up a big poster that reads, My mom is #1!
It’s so silly, with wobbly letters and cut-out stars half falling off of it, but here I am, tearing up again because Andrew made it just for me. Truthfully, he could glue a toothpick to a piece of paper and I’d think it was better than anything Picasso managed in his entire career.
“Mommy!” he shouts as he sees me, darting through the crowd and body-slamming into my legs.
I’d have completely lost my footing if the crowd wasn’t so thick. Thankfully, a nice family catches my stumble and after quick apologies, Andrew is pulling me toward his dad as quickly as he can. I tell him there’s no rush, but then, that’s a lie, because I want to get back to Ethan as badly as he does.
He’s standing just a few yards away in the center of the madness, holding a bouquet of wildflowers—a tradition we’ve kept up since our days in Rose Cabin. He looks devastatingly handsome in his suit, but then I suppose he always has. It’s why we’re all here in the first place.
His warm smile sends goose bumps down my arms, and though we’re in a sea of people, the world falls out of focus behind him. When Andrew finishes tugging me over, I stand perfectly still for what feels like forever, just looking up at Ethan, reveling in this moment we’ve been working toward together as a family for so long. My burdens have been his burdens. My hardships have been equally shared. He’s been my rock and I wish I could tell him so without breaking out in a full sob.
